This page automatically generates tabloid headlines, patterned after the classic Weekly World News of the 1980s and 1990s.
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FOOD-FIGHT HORROR! CAFETERIA MELEE LEFT MACHO MAN BRAIN DEAD
TEEN BEAUTY PROVES THAT HEARTBROKEN HUBBIES ARE STUPID!
BIG-NOSED SONGBIRD TRIED TO RUB HIM OUT WITH GADGET, PAL TELLS BALD MEN
YOUR CHINESE HOROSCOPE: YOU ARE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH STATUS SEEKERS OR GYPSY PAIR
MURDERER TELLS HOW YOU CAN READ A FAT SLOB LIKE A BOOK