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I CAN TEACH JIM BAKKER TO TALK LIKE A MONKEY
MILLIONAIRE TURNS TO CRIME TO SUPPORT TEEN BEAUTY'S BINGO HABIT
SPACE CREATURES TAKE SUNBATHING BEAUTY -- AND HER JUNK CAR
BASEBALL PLAYER SETS HIMSELF ON FIRE AFTER SEEING HUGE STONE AGE NEEDLEFISH IN DEATH ROW
STRICKEN SURROGATE MOM: CANNIBALS CURED ME OF AIDS!