This page automatically generates tabloid headlines, patterned after the classic Weekly World News of the 1980s and 1990s.
Refresh the page for more tabloid headlines!
THIS CANCER BOY CAN'T FALL ASLEEP -- OR HE WILL DIE!
NASTY COUSIN ALMOST DIES WHEN SHE'S HOOKED UP TO EERIE BLUE HAZE
THIS EX-CON CAN'T FALL ASLEEP -- OR HE WILL DIE!
HUBBY LOCKS UP NAGGING TOT -- AND STARVES HER
HORN-HATING ELEPHANT TELLS HOW YOU CAN READ A BIGSHOT BUILDER LIKE A BOOK