For those who want to view this massive one-minute monstrosity:
http://www.adage.com/news.cms?newsId=38750
Scroll down until you see the "hip"
guy with the hair and click. But be warned...It's incredibly bad.
Continuing on...They have spent $100 mil on this commercial, but its surprisingly horrible. It's to commercials what Gigli was to movies.
And they even dared use Asians (Read: Chinese
). They have no shame.
Here's a summary of what happends, for all the lazy/smart people out there:
Right when it begins, your innundated with the "Buh buh buh buh buh", which should warn you to immediately change the channel. For now I'm simply going to mute the computer, to save myself both the horror and embarassment that comes from it. So I will not appointment
According to WMP, at the VERY FIRST second you are witness to a *person of colour* (McDonalds is, of course, multiracial) eating a hamburger right in front of the camera. I note his eyes are closed and he's very aggressively eating it. This type of aggression can be noted when someone feels excited, aroused, or angry. It can also be observed in monkeys.
Also note in the background, it appears someone is dancing while eating a burger. This implies that McDonalds is *exciting*.
On second 2, someone is flipping a McDonalds French-Fries box in front of the camera. I estimate 90 percent of the camera (at moment of capture) is covered by this box. This box then falls out of the persons hand. How unfortunate.
Note that in the background, it appears that someone is concerned that the box was dropped. How INCREDIBLY sad
Then we see a dog in the sand. He jumps up to get a bone. This is beginning to remind me of that tape in "The Ring".
Then we see someone skateboarding. Umm...?
Then we see a man with very *manly muscles* putting his whole mouth over a *black* womans shoulder. Of course, it has icecream dripping down to her breast. Or what appears to be icecream. The colour is milky white. Kinky.
Then we see a person on a skateboard holding on to two dogs on a leash, obviously being pulled by them.
Then we see two girls cheering.
By now were five seconds into the video, and we see an *overweight person* on one of those inflatable chairs in a swimming pool. Ugh.
Suddenly, a man or boy cannonballs into the pool.
00:07. We see an adolecent teen in what appears to be one of those street vendors ala New York, and the words "I'm Lovin' (sic) It" appear for a split second.
The teen then gets an old record out.
00:08, we see a person doing that "head-on-the-ground-spinning-around" thing in what appears to be Mexico, Utah, New Mexico, Colorado, Nevada, or California. I hope to god it's not here in Utah.
00:09: We go back to the teen with the record. The teen puts it on and then gets a McDonalds burger and begins to eat it.
00:11: Back to the now apparent *person of colour* doing the "putting-one-hand-on-the-ground-and-spinning-around" trick.
00:12. A very disturbing scene...We see young adults-middle aged adults sitting on chairs arranged in sucession, like a caterpillar.
Then we see a woman, in the same office setting, bursting out. If her womanly parts were larger, one would be concerned about them coming out.
00:14: SAME setting, one officeworker (male) falls out on another male. They both look very happy. This indicates McDonalds is *sexually tolerant*. Yay MrFun!
00:15 sped fast too quickly and I don't want to wait for it to rebuffer, so you miss out on that. Not that it's a bad thing.
00:16. A woman at an apartment is either:
A) Checking her mail
B) Calling an elevator
C) Disabling electric power.
Her foot is on the door (not that you can notice until 00:17, when the door shuts on her). She is barefoot.
Then it zooms in on her with the classic "lines of a camera", where she seems angry that is closed.
Suddenly she drops papers, and some old man comes out. She's now hiding in the corner of the door.
The old man comes out, and as the door is shutting she runs in. Was she trying to break into his house?!
00:21. Back to the Western teen doing the "hand/head on the ground spinning) thing,
again.
00:23. A person is outside of a small supermarket with her boyfriend/husband, and she seems to be doing kicks ala-kung fu.
00:24, she does something with her arms as if she's a kung-fu fighter.
Then she kicks. And it knocks out a milkshake that her boyfriend/husband was holding (Implied: McDonalds milkshake. Why would McDonalds have someone kick...?)
Suddenly she puts her hand over her mouth as if she is surprised. Seemingly has the intelligence of the averege American. Why would they portray McDonalds food in such a way?
Hey! Now we see Justin and some girl with long, straight dark hair on a high balcony. It's overcast.
0:28, we see people on skateboards doing the standard skateboard stuff.
00:28 still, we now see a man (shirtless with seemingly *manly muscles*" eating icecream (what a contrast!). And someone is (surprise) on a skateboard going past this *manly* man. Are they trying to target MrFun?
Someone on a diving board falls off of what seems to be a large oil platform.
00:31, now we see one of those bouncing cars and the words "I'm Lovin' (sic) It" come across.
Two people sneak up to this car.
00:34: The person in this car has those drumsticks and is pretending his steering wheel is a drum. This person looks suspiciously like the person handling the records.
The people who snuck up to the car do something, but I can't quite tell what.
00:35: Someone is thrown into a pool. This person is a girl, but more importantly shes a *person of colour*. She's smiling. How nice
00:36 A smiling person walks onto a bus. He's dressed in almost all yellow-and-green, but he stops smiling as he realizes
00:39 that everyone is wearing red-white. And they have McDonalds fries!
0039-0041: More teens doing the spinning on the ground tricks.
A yound-adult woman is handing a child to a teenager with spiked hair. The lense appears to be black-and-white, so I can't tell if this woman is special by being a person of colour. Sorry
The woman was smiling at the teenager as if he was her husband. Promoting teenage sex are we?
00:44: The teenager with spiked hair is rubbing the baby like a father would. Poor child.
0045-0046: People skateboarding! Ha!
0047: An italian looking man riding a small red car nods his head in a suggestive way towards a teenager in an SUV!!!
The SUV speeds past towards him. And McDonalds is in the background!
0051: A man stops his alarm clock. This goes by REALLY quickly.
0052: Two latinos are leaning against a brick wall, and a businessman puts down his suitcase.
0053: Two asian women, in Asian clothing, appear very happy. One is even blowing bubblegum. Does McDonalds have no shame?!
0054: The businessman in 0052 begins dancing for the Latinos and it's supposed to be hilarious.
Then the M appears, it fades to black, and the words "I'm Lovin' (sic) It" appear.
Suddenly we zoom out from a man eating a burger. His shirt is not completly tied up, so you can see his *manly muscles* showing through. He's surrounded by friends.
The commercial ends.
There is no fashion.
