October 28, 2003, 19:07
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#1
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Caerdydd, Cymru
Posts: 5,303
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Baghdad not so bad after all!
Is this true Sneak? 
Coach Steve Mariucci had put together the perfect Detroit Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Baghdad. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away - ka boom!
"I've got to get this guy!" Mariucci said to himself. "He has the perfect arm." So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football and the Detroit Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history.
The young Iraqi is lionized as the Great Hero of football, and when Mariucci asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."
"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."
"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No, let me tell you," the mother retorts, "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was kidnapped in broad daylight."
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says
". . . I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
__________________
"People would rather die than think, and most people do." - Bertrand Russell
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October 28, 2003, 19:26
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#2
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Emperor
Local Time: 13:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Kokonino Kounty
Posts: 4,263
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__________________
Within weeks they'll be re-opening the shipyards
And notifying the next of kin
Once again...
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October 28, 2003, 19:52
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#3
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Local Time: 06:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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 ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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October 28, 2003, 20:40
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#4
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Apolyton Grand Executioner
Local Time: 03:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Fenway Pahk
Posts: 1,755
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I first heard that one about an Afghani who moved to Oakland.
__________________
Bush-Cheney 2008. What's another amendment between friends?
*******
When all else fails, blame brown people. | Hire a teen, while they still know it all.
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October 28, 2003, 20:43
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#5
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Caerdydd, Cymru
Posts: 5,303
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Ah well, all the best ones get recycled...
__________________
"People would rather die than think, and most people do." - Bertrand Russell
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October 28, 2003, 20:45
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#6
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Caerdydd, Cymru
Posts: 5,303
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Maybe they'll do one about Cincinnati, we could do with a star QB - as usual!
__________________
"People would rather die than think, and most people do." - Bertrand Russell
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October 28, 2003, 20:47
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#7
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King
Local Time: 23:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,709
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October 28, 2003, 20:56
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#8
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Caerdydd, Cymru
Posts: 5,303
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Problem is, I'm not sure whether you're laughing at the joke, or my comment about the Bengals... 
We just won our first back to back games since 2001! YAAAAY! 
__________________
"People would rather die than think, and most people do." - Bertrand Russell
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October 28, 2003, 23:44
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#9
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Emperor
Local Time: 07:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: here
Posts: 8,349
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We could have Jesus Christ at quarterback, newly risen, converting me and all my atheist brethren, and the Lions would still go 3-13.
Because we still need a goddamned running game... and offensive line... and receivers who can catch the damned ball... and a secondary who can actually cover receivers...
****ing Lions...
__________________
"My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
"Strange is it that our bloods, of colour, weight, and heat, pour'd all together, would quite confound distinction, yet stand off in differences so mighty." --William Shakespeare
"The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud
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October 28, 2003, 23:52
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#10
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King
Local Time: 07:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Toronto, UnAmerica
Posts: 2,806
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I live in Canada, which is a totalitarian state. - Ben Kenobi
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October 29, 2003, 00:50
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#11
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OTF Moderator
Local Time: 05:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Posts: 13,063
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what the **** is up mobius
Jobn :M;i;iler
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Jon Miller-
I AM.CANADIAN
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October 29, 2003, 03:06
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#12
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PolyCast Thread Necromancer
Local Time: 11:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: We are all Asher now.
Posts: 1,437
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Re: Baghdad not so bad after all!
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Quote:
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Originally posted by MOBIUS
Is this true Sneak?
Coach Steve Mariucci had put together the perfect Detroit Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Baghdad. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away - ka boom!
"I've got to get this guy!" Mariucci said to himself. "He has the perfect arm." So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football and the Detroit Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history.
The young Iraqi is lionized as the Great Hero of football, and when Mariucci asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."
"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."
"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No, let me tell you," the mother retorts, "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was kidnapped in broad daylight."
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says
". . . I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
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October 29, 2003, 08:22
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#13
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: The cities of Orly and Nowai
Posts: 4,228
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detroit's not so bad... i mean, it's at least cooler on average than baghdad.
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B♭3
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October 29, 2003, 10:26
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#14
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Prince
Local Time: 11:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Detroit
Posts: 350
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Quote:
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". . . I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
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I need to go above and beyond the "liberal media filter"and report that it's not that bad. 
I've been broken into 3 times, car vandalized, chased home a few times.
But Hey, new businesses are sprouting up (pawn shops, quik check-cashing, casinos), and these attacks are just signs of a last ditch attempt of a few irregulars in the face of progress, freedom, and democracy.
{please invade us, we could use the money)
__________________
"Perhaps a new spirit is rising among us. If it is, let us trace its movements and pray that our own inner being may be sensitive to its guidance, for we are deeply in need of a new way beyond the darkness that seems so close around us." --MLK Jr.
Last edited by Jac de Molay; October 29, 2003 at 10:46.
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October 29, 2003, 10:32
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#15
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Emperor
Local Time: 13:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 5,045
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Guynemer
We could have Jesus Christ at quarterback, newly risen, converting me and all my atheist brethren, and the Lions would still go 3-13.
Because we still need a goddamned running game... and offensive line... and receivers who can catch the damned ball... and a secondary who can actually cover receivers...
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But Jesus is almighty.
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October 29, 2003, 10:36
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#16
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: The cities of Orly and Nowai
Posts: 4,228
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no, detroit still sucks. any city that needs a kickass robocop to hunt down criminals during a riot is still far too dangerous and sucky. 
__________________
B♭3
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