Office Problem

[Shogun Gunner]

I work in a typical office building and just got back from the restroom, thoroughly disgusted.

There is a guy in an office on the floor above mine. This jerk walks past one restroom, takes the stairs down to our floor and drops a massive dump in the restroom on a daily basis.

Mr. Disgusting brings his blackberry in there while he's sitting there blasting away, smelling up the place and sending work email. He's real loud because he blows his nose and coughes in the stall. Furthermore, he takes his shoes off in the stall - they are visible under the stall door.

Today, I saw him in the restroom (like he always does after lunch) and I told my co-workers. We sent him several messages to his email account. He responded to every single one.

Why does he have to use the restroom on our floor -- DUDE USE THE RESTROOM ON YOUR FLOOR!

[Stuie]

Originally posted by Shogun Gunner DUDE USE THE RESTROOM ON YOUR FLOOR!

Maybe that's the email you should have sent him.

He takes his shoes off? Ewwww.....

[Garth Vader]

So go to his floor and take an epic dump yourself.

[Brundlefly]

Better yet, next time he pays your restroom a visit, steal his shoes...

Then send him an email saying he will get the shoes back only if he does not return..

[Whaleboy]

[The Andy-Man]

Originally posted by Garth Vader
So go to his floor and take an epic dump yourself.

and don't flush

[Shogun Gunner]

I might have to combine these suggestions and take an epic dump in his shoes - leaving them in his office.

Great!

[The Andy-Man]

incidentaly, does he, erm, DO, anything else in there

[Shogun Gunner]

Oh God, I don't want to think about that....

[alva]

Is the doorhandle rather sticky when you try to open it? That should be a good clue.

[JohnT]

Email account? Where's the public fun in that?

How about getting an incense candle, a lighter, and a nice little decorative plate to put them in. Place this on the bathroom sink with the following typed note:

If you're the person from Harvey and Wallbanger (unit 204) who uses this first floor restroom every day after lunch, may you please light this incense candle before you start?

Thank you,

The First Floor.

You might want to put a copy in the second floor bathroom as well.

[Alexander's Horse]

One of cleaners here used the John and it became clear he had either bowel cancer or a drinking problem.

You regularly drink too much beer and it becomes all too apparent later.

[Pekka]

NOOOOO! Perfect time for an old school trick. Put plastic paper.. how do you say it, you sometimes can wrap a bread for example to these.. see thru stuff?

Aaanyway, put that to the toilet, under the cover seat so he won't notice it, and once he starts pooping.. OH YES THE JOKE'S ON HIM! Make sure you steal all the toilet paper before that, leaving jsut a tiny little thing so he doesn't go for another toilet instead. This trick is called the buns of mud.

[Immortal Wombat]

The toilet I use at work, conveniently situated a mere 20 paces from my desk has (to the best of my knowledge) only 5 people who use it as a Bog of Choice. This means it is sparklingly clean, and always empty. Hooray!

[Pekka]

Or, next time he's there invading your floor and poisoning your bathroom, open the door, throw a horse head to his lap. You should be getting some movie roles after that one..

[Japher]

NOOOOO! Perfect time for an old school trick. Put plastic paper.. how do you say it, you sometimes can wrap a bread for example to these.. see thru stuff?

Plastic Wrap, or sometime one will use the brand name of Siran Wrap for that stuff... That is a great trick, especially since this guy will be sitting

[Pekka]

Exactly. Just put it tight enough. Someone tried to pull this one on me when I was in the army. I didn't notice it, but then I threw a small piece of paper to toilet, so it won't splash so much (i'm psycho that way).. and then I noticed it. But it was this close I didn't have the muddy buns myself. But I'm telling you, it can work. Lots of risks not working.. but if it does.. he'll never do that again in your floor.

[Japher]

Or, just hide all the TP! Let everyone on your floor know where it is, just don't tell HIM.

[JohnT]

No, you don't want to do the saran wrap thing, this isn't High School where you really don't care who the victim is. This is his office and a Practical Joke gone Tragically Awry through the accidental involvement of non-participants can cost him his job - especially if it's his boss that craps on this toilet.

Mine is better as it is public and gets the message out, without hurting anyone or ruining their clothes.

[Pekka]

JohnT, your suggestion is good.. but it's boring!

How about this:
Next time you sneak there with a digital camera, break the door in and take a picture. Then say he better take the upstairs bathroom from now on, or he'll be finding this picture all over the internet, and it will be one of those PRICELESS pics.

[JohnT]

Lawsuit, Pekka. You're just asking for one with that camera/internet thing. The camera thing will get you fired, because in order for it to be effective, the mark has to know he's been hit. And posting a pic for the world to see of him sitting on the John crapping his saran wrap is not the sort of games that people like to be associated with. Especially employers, having to explain this crap to 3 sets of lawyers (yours, his, and the landlords).

[Pekka]

Every trick has some risks in it. You just have to deal with it.

[Shogun Gunner]

someone, not me, posted a note on the restroom door asking people to "be more considerate of others when using this restroom".

That's a pretty nice note considering how disgusting this has been.

No, I will not do anything foolish like a prank. Why would I want to lose my job over this?

[Q Classic]

dangit johnt, stop being such a party pooper.

[Urban Ranger]

Party pooper?

[Japher]

*Japher puts plastic wrap over this party

[Az]