The Corrupt wish game

Lonestar · November 15, 2003, 22:58

(ripped straight from the SDMB)

Let's see how creative you can be. This is the corrupt wish game. Somebody makes a wish. Any wish. Then you corrupt it. Grant it (pretend), but with a horrible twist. Then you wish. On the same post. Try to get as creative as you can. Here are some rules and advice.

1. Try to corrupt the last poster.

2. No wishing for wishy wishes. Ex. "I wish for an uncorruptable wish". Feel free to skip people who do this.

3. No childish corruptions. They must have to relate to the topic somehow. Ex. "OK, you get a sandwich, but then you get hit by a truck!" Feel free to make your wishes long and science-fictiony, but no half-page rants.

All that in mind, here's an example.

Me. I wish for $1,000,000,000

Post 1. Fine, but it is all counterfeit. You get arrested and get 10 years in prison.
I wish I could see dead people. (still in post 1)

Post 2. {another hopefully funny corruption}
{another wish}

Post 3. {yet another hopefully funny corruption}
{once again, a wish}

And so on and so on.

I wish I could be president!

st_swithin · November 15, 2003, 23:05

I wish we had a vast organised all male gay militia which would sodomise the he11 out of the standing president on a daily basis.

Datajack Franit · November 15, 2003, 23:10

So then, I REALLY wish I could be the president

Lonestar · November 15, 2003, 23:11

Quote:

Originally posted by st_swithin
I wish we had a vast organised all male gay militia which would sodomise the he11 out of the standing president on a daily basis.

BAMF! You get your wish...unfortuntely, while at a "president's convention Dubya is sitting Down, and the only standing President, Jimmy Carter, is raped to death.

I wish for my very own Oompa-loompa.

Evil Knevil · November 15, 2003, 23:11

Of Iraq (sorry to be so topical)

I wish I could have any woman I wanted.

Lonestar · November 15, 2003, 23:17

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil Knevil
Of Iraq (sorry to be so topical)

I wish I could have any woman I wanted.

*BAMF* You get any girl you want...unfortuantely your mother is now chaperoning you 24/7 fo the rest of your life.

I still wish for an Oompa-loompa.

st_swithin · November 15, 2003, 23:20

BLAMMO! You get the oompa loompa, but it's a parasitic growth embedded in your forehead.

Shi Huangdi · November 15, 2003, 23:47

Quote:

Originally posted by Datajack Franit
So then, I REALLY wish I could be the president

Your wish is my command. However, you are now president of the small Central Asian Republic of Krapjakistan. Rebels have taken the capital, and you have been captured. You will now have your limbs torn off one by one, have the wounds bandanged, and them be buried live.

I wish for World Peace.

Skanky Burns · November 16, 2003, 00:01

A virus is released, killing every single human in the world.
There is now world peace.

I wish for an icecream.

Giant_Squid · November 16, 2003, 00:02

Granted. A race of aliens takes over the world and enslaves everyone. Because of their vastly superior firepower, no one dares to stand up against them.

I wish that I could discover a cure for cancer.

mrmitchell · November 16, 2003, 00:11

crosspost responding to Giant:

A cure for cancer is found, but a shipment of it catches smallpox from one of those evil terrorists. The disease spreads across the nation, and Bushcroft uses it as an excuse to ban freedom. (That sucked didn't it)

I wish everyone would drink Dr Pepper, instead of that ungodly filfth known as *vomit* Coke or--EVEN WORSE--Pepsi.

Jon Miller · November 16, 2003, 00:16

everyone does drink Dr Pepper

and rots there teeth because they can do notthing but drink Dr. Pepper

I wish that the left side of my head would explode

Jon Miller

Urban Ranger · November 16, 2003, 00:24

Granted, but it's not the head above your neck

I wish that I have power to mind control other sentient beings.

Skanky Burns · November 16, 2003, 00:34

Done. Unfortunately, this goes both ways. They will also be able to mind control you right back.

I wish I didn't have a hangover today.

The Emperor Fabulous · November 16, 2003, 00:57

You won't have a hangover because while drunk you drank urine because you thought it would cure it...and you were right

I wish that conservatives were put on Mars

Jon Miller · November 16, 2003, 01:01

they are, but after they destroy the earth

JM

Jon Miller · November 16, 2003, 01:02

I wish the pain would stop

KJM

Urban Ranger · November 16, 2003, 01:04

Granted, though you stop feeling anything. No taste, no smell, not even sight.

I wish I could absorb knowledge by osmosis.

Skanky Burns · November 16, 2003, 01:15

Granted. If only you had realised you were surrounded by "furries" before you got this gift, then perhaps you would have retained your sanity.

I wish I never had to work again.

jdd2007 · November 16, 2003, 01:17

youre dead

i wish i could fly

Urban Ranger · November 16, 2003, 01:22

You could. In fact, you changed into a fly.

I wish I could cure any diseases and disorders in other persons by mere touch, restoring them to health and vitality.

DaShi · November 16, 2003, 01:51

You got it, but in exchange you get their disease.

I wish I was a little bit taller.

Boris Godunov · November 16, 2003, 01:55

Granted. On the rack you go. *stretch*

I wish Jude Law was my lover.

St Leo · November 16, 2003, 02:02

Granted. After winning forty-two straight pie-eating contests in a row, she pronounces her undying love for you and goes into an eternal pie-induced coma.

I wish Greg Egan writes twenty more books.