The Corrupt wish game - Page 11

Nubclear · November 25, 2003, 02:16

You can.
However unfortunately the mobs running all the casinos find out and promptly kill you.

I wish George Bush would *edited by the FBI*.

Theben · November 25, 2003, 02:27

Granted. Now whenever Bush speaks his prose is edited by the FBI. No more southern people speaking Mexican, they actually speak Spanish!

I wish that this thread would be closed by a moderator in the next post.

Nubclear · November 25, 2003, 02:34

Your wish is half-granted. I'm a moderator, but I can't close the thread

I wish Zylka would marry me

Theben · November 25, 2003, 02:40

Quote:

Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar
Your wish is half-granted. I'm a moderator, but I can't close the thread

HALF-granted!?! Talk about weak!

Quote:

I wish Zylka would marry me

Well, YOUR wish is fully granted (hmpf). You 2 are married, and have many beatiful children. 14, to be exact. You go broke and stress ages you quickly, and you die of heart failure at 38. Zylka survives by selling all the kids into adoption and black market dealers.

I wish my next wish would be fully granted.

Nubclear · November 25, 2003, 02:44

It is. Unfortunately, you didn't wish for anything for it to affect

I wish my postcount would increase by 30,000,000.

Theben · November 25, 2003, 02:58

Poof(ta)! Your posts count is increased. Unfortunately the program can't accept such a high number, and re-sets your count to zero. You lose your custom avatar status.

For my NEXT (ahem) wish, I wish I was on a secluded island, only populated by 100 beautiful heterosexual women (and me), and it had enough food for all of us for 20 years, and they all want to have sex and party with me on a regular basis.

Urban Ranger · November 25, 2003, 03:02

Granted. However, you are surrounded by an a forcefield that neither you nor they can cross.

I wish for a car that has anti-grav capabilities.

Q Classic · November 25, 2003, 08:02

granted. it is, however, still experimental, and warps time as an unwanted side effect. you appear 68 million years in the past, and find that the battery's dead. you can't restart the car, and 5 years from now, paleontologists will dig up fragments of you and wonder how the hell you got there.

i wish the person replacing me at my job at the end of the year wasn't such a tool.

Skanky Burns · November 25, 2003, 08:47

The person replacing you suddenly gains intelligence, so much so that everyone at your job celebrates the fact you are leaving and he is staying. You feel sad.

I wish for a huge fireworks display to be held in my honour. Well away from me - don't want to get hit by any of them.

Drake Tungsten · November 25, 2003, 08:56

You aren't hit by the fireworks. Your house is, however...

I wish I could **** Parminder Nagra.

Q Classic · November 25, 2003, 09:15

after years and years of begging, pleading, and praying to the higher powers, you are granted your wish. however, you're 80 and impotent, and she's not that much younger and postmenopausal.

(incidentally, i haven't seen her in any movie yet, but i have seen aishwarya rai (sp?) and i like her.)

i wish i could bend it like beckham.

Drake Tungsten · November 25, 2003, 09:17

Actually, she'd be 84 then, as she's four years older than me...

Drake Tungsten · November 25, 2003, 09:20

Quote:

i wish i could bend it like beckham.

Granted. Unfortunately, your instant super-celebrity status in Japan causes you to be disowned by all your silly Korean relatives.

I wish I had golden balls.

Sore Loser · November 25, 2003, 09:22

ZAP!! Your balls are now dragging you towards the floor.

I wish people would be nice to one another.

EDIT: That one had already been used. Instead, I wish I were a major pool player.

Q Classic · November 25, 2003, 11:22

congratulations. unfortunately, you're approached by some disreputable people asking you to throw the biggest game of your career. after you refuse and win, they break every singly one of your fingers with your cue stick.

i wish that history as rewritten by one of my games of civilization could replace the real world.

duke o' york · November 25, 2003, 12:05

And it is so, but unfortunately you have a terrible starting position, make some really dud choices and everything ends up the way it is today.

I wish that more wishes stretched beyond the time-honoured yet unimaginitive ideas of desert islands and willing sexual partners.

AgentSubversion · November 25, 2003, 12:11

After the invention of a Physics Simulation Engine actual societies and cultures can be evolved in a mathmatical matrix that exists as nodes all running components of the PhySim. After a few years and knowlidge of this becomes realised by the masses the government begins snagging up peoples pet societies and running them into the ground by introducing dangerous stimuli to increase technology output and test theoretical cultural layouts. Right before the PhySim was completely dismantled, it's core functions were converted into a gaming engine and bundled with some toothpaste that was given to Brian Renolds in collage by a frat buddy. The games he created using this PhySim are the only link to this world, as we live in the PhySim and Mr Renolds is in the real world. Our reactions to the social stimuli we are given by those in charge are recorded and charted and studied. The real world is being made more like this simulation, as more consumption is being carried out here than in any other of the simulations. Since history is all guesswork anyway, it only took two generations of fact replacement to change the real worlds history to that of ours, or at least a close approximation.
And poof, somones historical game is now real history.
Or something, I got kinda ranty and dare not read it again.
Proofreading is for suckers

Every Minute of Every Hour,
I wish that I was bulletproof.

Q Classic · November 25, 2003, 12:15

you're bulletproof now. unfortunately, you're not resistant to anything else: guns, knives, proctologists...

i wish the bathrooms at work were clean.

Main_Brain · November 25, 2003, 12:19

They are now.
Unfortunatly you dont work there anymore from Friday on.

I wish for all the Children in the World to get together and Sing a song :=)

AgentSubversion · November 25, 2003, 12:21

They all sing this is the song that doesn't end unceasingly.

I wish i had head explody

duke o' york · November 25, 2003, 12:27

Fine, but just as she goes to perform the deed, your head explodes and it all ends rather suddenly. But at least you die with a smile on your face.

I wish people wouldn't skip posts in this thread.

AgentSubversion · November 25, 2003, 12:29

Noone skips posts any more, but regular forum junkies have one less thing to ***** about.

I wish I could make peoples heads explode with a thought (head explody)

Theben · November 25, 2003, 13:31

Your wish comes true. Yours, unfortunately, is the 1st to explode.

I wish I could walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

Mercator · November 25, 2003, 15:59

Zap! You're suddenly wearing Britney Spears' high heels, moreover, your feet are rather cramped because her shoes are several sizes smaller than your own. And you can't take them off anymore!

I wish I was a famous and successful musician.

Drogue · November 25, 2003, 16:07

You are, but you get mobbed by fans, and can no longer walk to get your mail without someone taking a photo of you. You never have any privacy.

I wish I was a God.

AgentSubversion · November 25, 2003, 16:08

Zap, your Syd Berret.

I wish I could find my mind.

Ben Kenobi · November 25, 2003, 18:33

Granted! It feels wet and squishy.

Quote:

She does, but only to tell you she is running off with her personal trainer.

That's not bad, Verres.

I wish I were able to share a Catholic communion.

Immortal Wombat · November 25, 2003, 20:03

Granted, but you have to share it with Attilla the Hun, and he whines all the way through, smells bad, makes rubbish and somewhat offensive jokes in Hunnish, then stabs some people.

I wish I were a butterfly.

Lonestar · November 25, 2003, 21:23

Quote:

Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
Granted, but you have to share it with Attilla the Hun, and he whines all the way through, smells bad, makes rubbish and somewhat offensive jokes in Hunnish, then stabs some people.

I wish I were a butterfly.

Granted. Alas, you are the "Msn Butterfly" and you end up being devoured by a internet worm.

I wish I was Superman.

Vlad Antlerkov · November 25, 2003, 21:40

Quote:

Originally posted by Lonestar

Granted. Alas, you are the "Msn Butterfly" and you end up being devoured by a internet worm.

I wish I was Superman.

Granted. Here's some kryptonite.

I wish for a 12-inch pianist.