The Corrupt wish game

[Q Classic]

once it's redefined that 0 + 1 = 0, all basic notions of causality and existence go out the window.

[Q Classic]

congratulations. now there are only two directions. having been forced into a 2-d world that moves only along grids similar to the cartesian plane, your brain rebels and folds in upon itself.

i wish that everybody would realize that happiness is a healthy dose of pharmaceuticals.

[Enigma_Nova]

Actually the only mathematical solution for a direction perpendicular to itself is a point which thus has no direction...

Everybody realises that happiness is now a dose of pharmaceuticals. Quickly running out of drugs, the world becomes a joyless place
(And I'm the only folk I know that's okay with such a world...)

I wish that every idea were synonymous to both its antethesis and its synthesis.

[Ben Kenobi]

Poof!

Hegel falls under the spell of a lovely lady and decides to become a painter. He never writes about his dialectic, and the terms 'antithesis, thesis and synthesis lose their meaning.

I wish for the Democrats to elect Kucinich as the compromise candidate, thus resulting in the complete destruction of the democratic part in the US.

[Q Classic]

poof! that's done. however, in the vacuum that is created, reverend moon takes over the republican party and destroys that party in the us.

i wish that i was the kwisatz haderach.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted: You are Kwisatz Haderach, but you find out the sand worm aliens that you wrote about aren't science fiction and they are pissed at you for getting their history wrong. They eat you.

I wish that I could think of a good tagline.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Granted. Your tagline happens to be "Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!" You die upon reading it.

I wish the subjunctive would stay in use.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. Truth be told, the subjunctive is the only allowed method of communication. Suffice it to say, many english students beat you to death.

I wish I knew what "Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!" meant

[Kuciwalker]

Granted. It turns out to be the Worlds Funnies Joke (a la Monty Python) and you die of laughter.

I wish I was a mod.

[Frozzy]

Granted. You get fired after one day.

I wish people would join the Apolyton Pub Quiz Championships

[Nubclear]

You are Unfortunately you take up too much space and your deleted shortly after.

I wish I was married to reverend moon

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. But your relationship is a mess because you are always handing out flowers at airports. You get divorced, descend into deep sadness, and commit suicide.

I wish i could send everyone on the earth to the moon.

[Nubclear]

You can and you do. However unfortunately you also send yourself and humanity dies a painful death.

I wish all the farm animals would vote for Kuchinichichihchihcih.

[Ben Kenobi]

Granted! They start with you.

I wish that today were tomorrow, and that tomorrow would be yesterday.

[Kuciwalker]

Granted. You repeat yesterday, today, and tomorrow endlessly.

I wish that this was not a crosspost

EDIT: nice, it isn't

[Nubclear]

Suddenly you begin to shoot back in time. Suddenly you see your city starting to shrink and people suddenly moving away. Entire buidings are disappearing.....You see the trees shrink, and the grass getting shorter. Water begins to rise quite high and you begin to drown. Suddenly there is a large explosion and.....
[Religiouswacko]You see God creating the earth!!!
[Rationalperson]there is nothingness!
[/troll]

I wish the world would become Communist.

[Shogun Gunner]

The Revolution is a success, Comrade Comrade. Oh, but darn, a splinter sect within your communist party thinks that you haven't stayed true to the ideals of the revolution and you are overthrown in a counter-revolution...off to Siberia with you.

I wish I was drinking a glass of Cranberry juice right now.

[JohnT]

But, dammit, cranberries gives you the runs, which makes for a very embarrassing Thanksgiving dinner:

"Could you please pass the..."

from bathroom, LOUDLY P-p-p-p-p-th!

"Come to think of it, brown gravy doesn't sound all that appealing right now. I'll eat the potatos plain."

[JohnT]

I wish I could find the source of MtG's quote generator, you know, the one that makes him an expert on everything from railroad timetables during the Civil War to radio astronomy.

[Frozzy]

You do and you get locked in the cooler.

I wish people wouldn't crosspost when I want them to grant my wish on people joining the Apolyton Pub Quiz Championships

[Shogun Gunner]

They don't crosspost, but they still don't join the Apolyton Pub Quiz Championships.

I wish I was Santa Claus.

[Urban Ranger]

You are. Now you are old and fat and has to work all year long to make toys for kids. Drat, where's the twist?

I wish I were 10 cm taller.

[Ramo]

Granted. Only cm means cuddly munchkins, so you will have to balance 10 cuddly munchkins on your head until you collapse and die from exhaustion and the smell of cuddly munchkin feces!

I wish I could have come up with a more creative wish.

[Nubclear]

You do Unfortunately we corrupt it.

I wish the sun would supernova.

[The Emperor Fabulous]

It does, but for some reason, God has chosen you to live for eternity alone in the dark

I wish I had a pencil

[JohnT]

Tragically, it breaks just as you were writing the most brilliant epiphany of your life, causing you to become so angry that you forgot what the hell it was that you were thinking about in the first place.

I wish I could go to sleep.

[self biased]

you can get to sleep, but you dream nonstop about bea arthur in the nude.

i wish i could get my hands on a fea's viper.

[JohnT]

Now that's just cruel!

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by self biased
you can get to sleep, but you dream nonstop about bea arthur in the nude.

i wish i could get my hands on a fea's viper.

[What is a fea's viper?]

You could, but whatever it is, it's dead.

I wish I could sing in two voices at the same time.

[Nubclear]

You can! But unfortunately you don't control those voices. They begin to argue with each other day in and day out, and it eventually drives you to suicide.

I wish I didn't have a headache.