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Old November 29, 2003, 20:47   #421
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Granted, but now it's dumber than ever.

I wish I could think of a wish.
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Approximately.
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Old November 29, 2003, 20:50   #422
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You just did.

I wish ICBM could think of a wish.
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Haven't been here for ages....
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Old November 29, 2003, 20:53   #423
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Granted. I did think of a wish, but it's that Shogun Gunner would be attacked by a rabid skunk.

I wish that wish.
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Old November 29, 2003, 21:10   #424
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Granted. But I've become a Super Mutant Rabid Shogun Skunk and I bite you and kill you.

I wish I wasn't a Super Mutant Rabid Shogun Skunk.
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Old November 30, 2003, 00:39   #425
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Granted. Now you're a Normal Rabid Shogun Skunk.

I wish i could sleep for a solid 12 hours.
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Old November 30, 2003, 01:04   #426
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Bam! You're in a coma.

I wish Sava hadn't said that he loves me. Even if he was joking.
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Old November 30, 2003, 01:28   #427
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Quote:
Originally posted by JohnT
Bam! You're in a coma.

I wish Sava hadn't said that he loves me. Even if he was joking.
Granted, Sava does not express his love with words, in a long night together he express it with means far less subtle.

I wish my 15 page political science paper would be done automatically, and done at an A+ level.
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Old November 30, 2003, 01:57   #428
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shi Huangdi


Granted, Sava does not express his love with words, in a long night together he express it with means far less subtle.

I wish my 15 page political science paper would be done automatically, and done at an A+ level.
done. your paper, written entirely in orange crayon, would recieve an A+ in a first grade classroom.

i wish the RIAA was dibanded and pop music destroyed.
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Old November 30, 2003, 02:14   #429
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Poof. Due to a new legal precedent, the RIAA is disbanded. Copyrights all over the world are voided, leading to the collapse of the industrial world. In the resulting world-wide depression, millions die, billions are dashed into poverty.

I wish we could find an economic system based on fair profit versus robber capitalism that worked.
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Old November 30, 2003, 02:18   #430
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poof. the definition of "fair profit" has now been equated to that of "robber capitialism".

i wish the industrialized world was back
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Old November 30, 2003, 02:28   #431
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Where'd it go?
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Old November 30, 2003, 03:02   #432
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Granted...you now must work 20 hours a day in order to support your family.

I wish I wish I didn't squish that fish...
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Old November 30, 2003, 03:18   #433
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Granted. To prevent it's squishing, the fish pre-emptively shoots you.

I wish my Thanksgiving Vacation was longer.
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Old November 30, 2003, 03:43   #434
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(stupid Bush fish...)

Granted. You are now stuck in a Groundhog's Day version of Thanksgiving, forced to relive the same day over and over and over again forever.

I wish the Boston Red Sox would win a World Series.
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Old November 30, 2003, 04:03   #435
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They do. Little did anyone know that God had declared the day they won, the world would end.

I wish high school/collegiate wrestling got a little respect.
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Old November 30, 2003, 10:57   #436
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Granted. After the Red Sox win the World Series, what little respect remained for baseball is put into high school/collegiate wrestling. This eventually results in the people participating in those events demanding millions of dollars for each wrestling match, and it becomes the pointless spectacle that professional wrestling is. Too bad.

I wish I was dictator of the world.
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Approximately.
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Old November 30, 2003, 11:49   #437
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Granted. You're now dictator of a world that ended when the Red Sox won the World Series.

I wish I didn't know what the word "yiff" means.
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Old November 30, 2003, 11:50   #438
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Quote:
Originally posted by ICBM
I wish I was dictator of the world.
Granted. Immediately after becoming dictator, a powerful race of space aliens comes by claiming you are a threat to interplanetary security. They send inspectors to check out your claim that you have no weapons capable of reaching another planet, but they invade anyway when there's a galaxy-wide recession. They kick your ass out of power and spend the next 500 years looking for weapons of mass system destruction. You escape and survive in hiding by dressing in drag and singing old Diana Ross hits in sleazy transvestite clubs.

I wish that no one would ever again repeat a previously wished-for wish.
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Old November 30, 2003, 11:52   #439
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Bah.

Quote:
Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
I wish I didn't know what the word "yiff" means.
Granted. You never quite comprehend this act that you're repeatedly forced to do.

I stand by my previous wish.
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Old November 30, 2003, 12:18   #440
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Granted. Violators will be punished by death. Oops, looks like you repeated your wish. Off to the firing squad you go.

I wish my college applications were done.
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Old November 30, 2003, 12:30   #441
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they are. unfortunately, the name you've written on all of them is "ignatius peter freeleigh". you never hear back from them again.

i wish i wasn't so damned funny.
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Old November 30, 2003, 13:01   #442
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Granted. You never were :P

I wish I could instantly teloport to any location.
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Old November 30, 2003, 13:15   #443
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Granted. You teleport to every location in the universe instantly and simultaneously, violating causality and forcing the universe to collapse upon itself.

I wish I had a warm beer.
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Old November 30, 2003, 13:21   #444
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Granted. You're in an English pub.

I wish all humor would be thrown on the ash heap of history.
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Old November 30, 2003, 14:22   #445
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Granted. All joyous feelings are forever gone!

I wish that this post is immediately followed by repeditive postcount-appraising spam
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Old November 30, 2003, 14:24   #446
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granted, although it's repetitive, and postcount-appraising makes little sense.



i wish we could all learn to use proper grammar rules, as well as correct spelling and usage for all words, with the exception of the rules for capitalization.
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Old November 30, 2003, 14:47   #447
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Quote:
Originally posted by Q Cubed
granted, although it's repetitive, and postcount-appraising makes little sense.



i wish we could all learn to use proper grammar rules, as well as correct spelling and usage for all words, with the exception of the rules for capitalization.
Granted, however everyone now uses Grammatically correct German, which tends not to make as much sense as grammatically incorrect English.

I wish I was at University of California that was being paid for by the military instead of the military right now.
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Old November 30, 2003, 21:37   #448
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Granted, however you flunk out, and end up back in the military.

I wish that all my christmas shopping had good gifts for all of my friends and family, packed in a box at home.
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Old November 30, 2003, 21:50   #449
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Granted. The box is wrapped in two hundred and eighty layers of duct tape, in addition to being guarded by twenty heavily armed elite forces specialists. In addition, the box has a self-destruct feature that will start when it is opened. If you bribe the guards and cut through the duct tape, opening the box will turn you and everything in the neighborhood into small little chunks.

I wish everyone was enlightened in the ways of Dr Pepper.
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Old December 1, 2003, 04:03   #450
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granted. humanity acheives enlightenment, and begins to trancend to godhood. jealous, a neighboring race of aliens nuke the planet and everyone on it before we're able to complete the sequence.

i wish i black diamond made flatwound strings.
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