The Corrupt wish game - Page 6

Theben · November 17, 2003, 12:07

Quote:

Originally posted by Space05us
I wish everyone could just get along

Granted. Everyone gets along perfectly from now till the end of time. In fact, no one ever quarrels again. Life becomes numbingly dull and everyone dies from sheer boredom.

I wish I knew what would happen next.

Space05us · November 17, 2003, 12:13

Quote:

I wish I knew what would happen next.

granted, little did you know you already knew or at least now you know, but maybe you didnt actually know, either way if you go back in time now you know.

I wish I had a pot of gold

Shi Huangdi · November 17, 2003, 12:19

It's yours. Unfourtantely, the Leprechaun Secret Police decides it wants it back, and it's agents slay you and take the gold.

I wish for the Israelis and Palestinians to stop fighting.

Theben · November 17, 2003, 12:20

GRanted. Unfortunately the gold belonged to someone who had been horribly murdered, and the state convicts you for it. You die on death row.

I wish I could pay my bills.

Theben · November 17, 2003, 12:23

curse of the xpost

Quote:

I wish for the Israelis and Palestinians to stop fighting.

Granted. They all start taking ballet lessons and sing karaoke. The human worldwide population dies in a massive epileptic fit.

Space05us · November 17, 2003, 12:27

Quote:

I wish I could pay my bills.

granted, you find a blank check on the sidewalk fill it out cash it and pay your bills. the next week a columbian hitman show up at your door step and kills you

I wish I knew why cheese is so addictive

Q Classic · November 17, 2003, 14:19

granted. you find out cheese is made from the brains of people who share your family tree. soylet cheese is your mother.

i wish that there were a lot fewer cases of operator error.

st_swithin · November 17, 2003, 15:00

tada! many fewer cases of operator error, but still enough occur to cause statistical significance, and nothing improves.

I wish I was a white guy.

SpencerH · November 17, 2003, 15:09

Poof! You're a white guy. Unfortunately, you've been convicted of securities fraud and you're on your way to a federal pen.

I wish Adolph Hitler had never lived.

Gangerolf · November 17, 2003, 18:25

Granted. Hitler was never born, but Stalin started WW2 instead and by 1951 the Soviet Union had conquered the entire planet.

I wish I could fly.

Nubclear · November 17, 2003, 18:25

You can fly!!! Yay!!! You fly over Germany, over Russia, Over China....Where your unfortunately shot by a missile. You die

I wish Stalin was never born.

st_swithin · November 17, 2003, 19:12

Poof! Stalin wasn't born, he hatched from a giant egg and hails from the planet Ork. Americans watch his antics on a tv sitcom for years, believing that it is a fictional story when it is in fact a documentary.

I wish a virus with a 99.99% mortality rate would be released upon the earth.

Ben Kenobi · November 17, 2003, 19:14

x-post!

oh,

Quote:

granted, your brand new Boeing 747 drops on top of your house killing all of its occupants.

LMFAO!

Nubclear · November 17, 2003, 19:14

It is

Unfortunately, it's spread by an exchange of bodily fluids and your the first person to get it. As no one wants to exchange bodily fluids with you, you die and the Earth is saved

I wish that whenever *I* bought something it would be free.

Ben Kenobi · November 17, 2003, 19:17

You do, but the government tracks each and every one of your purchases.

I wish I could foresee my exam questions.

Mercator · November 17, 2003, 19:27

Granted. You can indeed foresee the questions, but unfortunately this new brain function goes at the cost of another and you are unable to give the right answer to any of them.

I wish none of the corruptly granted wishes in this thread would involve death.

Q Classic · November 17, 2003, 19:49

tada! rather than involving death, they now all involve your bizarre torture at the hands of a hundred smiling midgets.

i wish that i could actually cook edible and delicious food on a regular basis.

Japher · November 17, 2003, 19:53

walla, you become enslaved by a hundred smiling midgets that demand you cook for them!

I wish this thread would just end!

Mercator · November 17, 2003, 20:00

It will, it will... (but not until the "Corrupt wish game II" thread has started)

I wish I would instantly and legitimately graduate summa *** laude, right now.

Q Classic · November 17, 2003, 20:11

congratulations on your degree! unfortunately, the semester before you graduate, the school's accreditation was revoked on account of the curriculum not being rigorous enough.

i wish calvin and hobbes were back again in the funny papers.

st_swithin · November 17, 2003, 20:18

Shazam! Calvin and Hobbes were ground up in a tragic wood-pulping accident and are now being distributed on Sunday along with circulars for K-Mart and Albertson's.

I wish I could be exiled to the a55-end of the universe and get away from this place.

Japher · November 17, 2003, 20:23

Bigidy-Bam, you find yourself in Fresno

I wish some one would invent teleporters.

Sandman · November 17, 2003, 20:34

Granted! Someone invents teleporters, but decides not to tell anyone.

I wish I had Matrix-style powers.

mrmitchell · November 17, 2003, 20:47

Granted! You now have the ability to abuse slow-motion scenes and multiple camera view effects that were once used to emphasize legitimate martial arts moves, but now let dorks with glasses look "cool".

I wish I had dreams (not nightmares) every night. It'd make sleep something to look forward to, at least.

Kuciwalker · November 17, 2003, 20:49

Granted. You never wake up and constantly dream forever.

I wish I had the power to crush the throats of the insolent with the force (Darth Vader style).

Bosh · November 17, 2003, 21:07

Granted, this power manifests yourself whenever you're annoyed with someone resulting in you killing the next person who cuts you off in traffic which results in you dying in the subsequent car accident.

I wish my washing machine didn't leave my clothes so wrinkled.

Shi Huangdi · November 17, 2003, 21:34

Quote:

Originally posted by Boshko
Granted, this power manifests yourself whenever you're annoyed with someone resulting in you killing the next person who cuts you off in traffic which results in you dying in the subsequent car accident.

I wish my washing machine didn't leave my clothes so wrinkled.

So shall it be. Your washing machine no longer leaves your clothes wrinkled, instead it leaves them shreaded to pieces. You have now lost your clothes and must walk around naked.

I wish for infinite money.

Q Classic · November 17, 2003, 21:37

sha-zaam!
you now have an infinite supply of monopoly money, but that's not the bad news. the bad news is that it's from monopoly jr.

i wish that i could create any computer i wanted just by imagining them into existence.

Nubclear · November 17, 2003, 21:39

Granted!

However, you think about compuetrs so much eventually the world is filled with computers, and everyone dies

I wish that that I had some pickles in my fridge so I could put them on my hamburger.

Space05us · November 17, 2003, 21:54

Quote:

I wish that that I had some pickles in my fridge so I could put them on my hamburger

granted. little did you know that your pickles are made from zuchinni not cucumber!!

I wish I was Adolf Hitler and I had never killed myself (no not really)