A wonderful source of schadenfreude

[Bosh]

grouphug.us I can't stop hitting the random button, so far some of my favorite are:

I have a 4.0 and a double major. I will study abroad and do an internship in Washington D.C. But I HATE myself. I don't know why.

I have trouble falling asleep. I masterbate twice at night and once when I wake up. I blow my load into a plastic bottle I keep on my bed so I won't get the semen everywhere.

I'm waiting until I get married and then I'll lose my virginity.

I despise myself, I wish I would die a sudden death. I can't kill myself b/c I'd go to hell.

A pseudo-friend shows up at my house neither announced nor invited at 3 am, I pretended not to be there. She's drunk and keeps banging, so I had the cops come and arrest her. I slept great.

it was during the winter, i wore a ski mask to a small local convient store not meaning to do any harm, i wore it because it was cold

the store keeper screamed in panic "you can have all my money, dont hurt me!" and threw all the money he had in the cash register he had to me, i quickly ran out and hid

i've robbed a store without even realizing it

at the end, i kept the money and i havn't been caught yet to this day.

When I was seven I smothered my infant brother to death because I was jealous of all the attention he got. The coroner ruled it sudden infant death syndrome. I never told my parents. Growing up an only child was great, because I got everything I wanted. Sometimes I would pretend to play with my dead brother when my parents were around. I never felt guilty about this. I don't think I am going to have kids.

When I was in grade 12, I had a major essay due on Alexis de Tocqueville the next day, but hadn't even begun reading the material.

Desperate and panicking, I tried purchasing an essay off the internet, using my parents' credit card. When the first essay proved to be absolutely useless, I bought a second one. It came to seventy dollars in total, charged to my parents at at time when they were near bankrupt and couldn't afford to spare a single penny. I never told them about it or paid them back, and I still feel guilty about it.

There is at least a sappy moral of sorts, since the second essay was also terribly written, and I ended up just doing it on my own and getting a good mark.

I once had an overwhelming urge to drink some paint, just to see what it tasted like. Then I opened the lid and the horrible smell put me right off.

I know some of them are fake and the vast majority are just boring, but there's got to be enough real good ones to appeal to the sicker side of my sense of humor...

[Urban Ranger]

Boshko, you need a life.

Uh, don't you have a gf already?

[Nubclear]

1 might be true.
2 might be true.
3 no.
4 no.
5 might be true
6 probably true

[uh Clem]

Any mentions of Apolyton there?

[Verto]

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by uh Clem
Any mentions of Apolyton there?

Maybe not apolyton, but I bet it mentions some apolytoners.

[General Ludd]

Hey, these are good.

I used to have a sleep walking problem during college. I only woke up once while sleep walking. The only problem was that I woke up in a dark unidentified location and I had to pee really bad. I couldn't wait to find my way out so I decided to pee first. I ended up sleep walking into my girlfriends closet and I pissed all over her roommate's clothes. I paniced and threw all of the clothes away.

I work as a contractor in London. Each time I work in a new company I defacate on the floor daily for the first couple of weeks. I find it quite exhilarating. I have never been caught which provides a real buzz. I just can't stop myself.

While reading a few of these confessions at work, during lunch, I made a female co-worker lose her appitite. I feel so terrible!!!

[Bosh]

Originally posted by Urban Ranger
Boshko, you need a life.

Uh, don't you have a gf already?

Ya but her neice is 100 days old today (real big deal here) this makes for a very bored Boshko since I've gotten used to spending the weekends with her.

[Urban Ranger]

Get some pet squirrels