Questions Without Good Answers

SlowwHand · November 26, 2003, 18:07

SO many smart people here.
Michael, for instance, always has an answer.

Wait a second. What have I told you about using the words always, never, all, and none ?
I told you that these words shouldn't be used, didn't I?

I've referenced this question before.
"Does this make me look fat?", has no good answer.
You just have to break down and tell them "No, the fat makes you look fat".

What are some other questions without good answers?

Like:
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Commie Chocobo · November 26, 2003, 18:20

"if you get scared half to death twice?"
simple, u are 1/4 dead

Nubclear · November 26, 2003, 18:22

3/4

Immortal Wombat · November 26, 2003, 18:25

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Degrees is not an absolute measure. Use Kelvin. If it was 0K, then twice as cold would impossible.

Quote:

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

One of the proverbs is wrong.

Quote:

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Americans throw rice? Can you not afford confetti?

reds4ever · November 26, 2003, 20:57

Slow, in answer to your first question,

If she asks 'Do I look fat in this dress?' tell her, 'Of course you do, it's a dress, not a f@&king Magic Wand!!!

Imran Siddiqui · November 26, 2003, 21:05

Quote:

Wait a second. What have I told you about using the words always, never, all, and none ?
I told you that these words shouldn't be used, didn't I?

You mean those words should never be used?

Quote:

Americans throw rice? Can you not afford confetti?

You don't throw rice? It's a good luck thing (rice, I mean).

Thoth · November 26, 2003, 21:07

@reds4ever

You'd better have an eye on the exit if you say that.

Gangerolf · November 26, 2003, 21:07

"If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?"

Oh that's easy. zero degrees. 0*2=0 , basic mathematics

General Ludd · November 26, 2003, 21:27

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Maybe they jsut throw ground beef.

Quote:

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

You'll be three quarters dead.

mrmitchell · November 26, 2003, 21:33

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

0*2=0

Quote:

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

"Quit while you're ahead" applies when you can win partially. "Quitters never win" applies when you can only win or lose.

Quote:

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Don't think of many rooms glued together. Think of one building separated into rooms.

Quote:

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Are you saying that if Americans threw chocolate, Swiss would throw hamburgers as well?

Quote:

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

You'd be scared 3/4 to death.

Japher · November 26, 2003, 21:39

Yea, all you smartasses have all the answers

Impossible Questions?

Why is the word abbreviation so damn long?!

How come we say that we "take a sheit" when we actually leave one? (Same for a pisss)

What can't I get through an entire post with out a spelling error?

Why are Texans so Crass?

Is Gallagar the greatest comedian of all time?

Oh, that stupid Heissenberg Uncertainty prinicple, Whats up with that?! I touch things right? So how can I only ever be halfway there?

Why do we still have commies?

These things just baffle me!

mrmitchell · November 26, 2003, 21:57

Quote:

Why is the word abbreviation so damn long?!

abbrev.

Quote:

How come we say that we "take a sheit" when we actually leave one? (Same for a pisss)

It's better to say you're taking one and then leave one than to say you're leaving one to then take one. (This has already been posted before)

Quote:

What can't I get through an entire post with out a spelling error?

Because you're not a smartass

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Why are Texans so Crass?

Long Texan family lines often have a disorder called headup rearrus

Quote:

Why do we still have commies?

Or:
Why do we still have cappies?

JohnT · November 26, 2003, 21:59

The worst question ever:

"Are you asleep?"

Dauphin · November 26, 2003, 22:02

Quote:

Originally posted by JohnT
The worst question ever:

"Are you asleep?"

"IS someone there?" problem tops that, especially if you are creeping downstairs to check for a burglar at the time you say it.

Japher · November 26, 2003, 22:06

Quote:

This has already been posted before

Probably was me

Are you aslep, Is someone there, is any one home?

ALl good

I like it when someone calls and asks "Who is this"... Who the Fvck do you think it is!!!! You called me, jackass!

Urban Ranger · November 26, 2003, 22:46

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Cold is not a quantifiable quality, thus, saying "twice as cold" is meaningless.

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

Some person who didn't want you to win, obviously.

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Those that are not are called departments.

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

No, we throw Americans.

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Depends on if you have recovered during the interval.

Urban Ranger · November 26, 2003, 22:47

Quote:

Originally posted by JohnT
The worst question ever:

"Are you asleep?"

Nah.

"Are you dead?" is probably worse.

Bosh · November 26, 2003, 22:56

Quote:

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Just chickens

st_swithin · November 27, 2003, 01:09

I thought Asians threw firecrackers.

Guynemer · November 27, 2003, 01:18

Who wrote the Book of Love?

Do you know the Muffin Man?

aaglo · November 27, 2003, 02:09

If two persons in business world meet, why both of them are always "fine" or "terrific"? Don't they have bad days at all?

KrazyHorse · November 27, 2003, 05:18

Quote:

Originally posted by Big Crunch

"IS someone there?" problem tops that, especially if you are creeping downstairs to check for a burglar at the time you say it.

It's actually not a bad idea to warn the guy that you're coming down. That way he has time to run for it and you won't have to bump into each other by mistake.

Personally, though, I prefer "I'm coming down and I have a crowbar".

Urban Ranger · November 27, 2003, 05:21

What, no assault rifle? Not even a shotgun?

KrazyHorse · November 27, 2003, 05:33

I trust myself with a crowbar more than I do with a firearm. And whoever it is will be just as dead when I swing it. I actually chased off a robber with a crowbar when I was 15 (he wasn't in the house; he was attempting to break into my father's truck, which was filled with 40 000$ worth of Snap-On tools).

Urban Ranger · November 27, 2003, 05:36

Not in Philly though, I think. Nasty, nasty, place.

KrazyHorse · November 27, 2003, 05:41

I ain't in Philly. We've got Philly far beat on homicides, shootings and violent crime.

Theben · November 27, 2003, 05:44

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Switch to either farenheit or celsius and then calculate to find the answer.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

A loser.

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

They are separable by a chainsaw.

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

No. The Japanese, for instance, throw shashimi at the bride until she agrees to a nude wrestling match with the maid-of-honor.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

You die. But only on the inside.

Dry · November 27, 2003, 06:19

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

All depends on where is the zero on the coldness scale of the speaker.
If 'cold' start on, say, 15 degrees, then twice as cold as zero is minus 15.

aaglo · November 27, 2003, 06:33

I wonder who even would say it's twice as cold? It's ridiculous in itself - it doesn't need the answer for that

And one other (a bit off-topic) thing mentioned some time ago in OT:
- why do people speak about frozen tundra? The word tundra means permafrost ground... so, is it ground frozen twice?

Theben · November 27, 2003, 06:43

and what about thiose poeple who say "permafrost groundf?" Isn't perma=ground? Talk about redudant.