December 1, 2003, 00:41
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#31
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: The Occupied South
Posts: 4,729
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Quote:
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Originally posted by jimmytrick
The capital H leads one to believe that the Horizon is a ship. The string "another fun filled picnic outing" is so bad it makes the teeth grind.
The last two words could be dropped. I can't go more than 3/10 for this one.
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Well, I can't argue any of that. It was a first ever attempt though. I'll take the 3 and be happy. 
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December 1, 2003, 01:37
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#32
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: New England
Posts: 3,572
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"Tsk, tsk. Traditionally, a good story should contain equal amounts of religion, aristocracy, mystery and romance."
EEEEEEEH?
You're weird.
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"mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
Drake Tungsten
"get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
Albert Speer
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December 1, 2003, 01:40
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#33
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Emperor
Local Time: 15:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Posts: 6,291
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It's a joke... 
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December 1, 2003, 02:06
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#34
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OTF Moderator
Local Time: 07:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Posts: 13,063
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
Sure it wasn't the best plan, it involved too many levers, tripwires and guns made of rusty nails, but under the circumstances it was the best I could do.
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I think this wuold be better the way I read it first
with 'lawyers' instead of 'levers'
as far as mine goes
" As Micahal strode purposely towards the throne, he saw (to the left, behind the throne) Shayna (the only sentient being (other than himself) that he had left alive in the universe) undergoing the transformation (which they had used on every other being) into a blackhole."
Jon Miller
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Jon Miller-
I AM.CANADIAN
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December 1, 2003, 02:55
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#35
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,657
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As the escalator descended he eyed Mikey Two-Step, and remembered his instructions; strike quickly and cleanly so that neither the victim nor his aorta would react until he was safely away.
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December 1, 2003, 10:50
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#36
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Emperor
Local Time: 10:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
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Location: Brasil
Posts: 3,958
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When John decided that he would kill himself, he never thought it would be so easy.
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'Yep, I've been drinking again.'
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December 1, 2003, 11:03
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#37
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Emperor
Local Time: 15:25
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Location: CLOWNS WIT DA DOWNS 4 LIFE YO!
Posts: 5,301
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When the first thing you see waking up at a morning is a 300-pound man wearing an ill-fitting ballerina suit and telling you "It is not going to be a good day", you better believe him.
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"Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
"That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world
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December 1, 2003, 11:05
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#38
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Deity
Local Time: 21:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Winston
Tsk, tsk. Traditionally, a good story should contain equal amounts of religion, aristocracy, mystery and romance.
So basically, an opening sentence along the lines of "God Almighty", cried the countess, "how on Earth did I get pregnant?" would be ideal.
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Where are religion, romance, and mystery?
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(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
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December 1, 2003, 11:08
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#39
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King
Local Time: 07:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Toasty!
Posts: 2,230
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Fear.
(edit: yeah, I know this is plagiarized from Leonard Koppett...)
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December 1, 2003, 12:09
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#40
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King
Local Time: 14:25
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: AUERSTADT
Posts: 1,757
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*There were many reasons which could have explained why that assignment was an utter failure ; I could have been pleading simple or tortuous excuses, generally accepted pretexts, imaginative fallacies, coloured or flat lies, but for once I was under the unusual impression that there was no safer way than telling the truth.*
I know : lack of aristocracy, religion, romance, but I can get 1 anyway
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Statistical anomaly.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Last edited by DAVOUT; December 1, 2003 at 15:06.
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December 1, 2003, 14:45
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#41
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King
Local Time: 09:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Everybody writes a book too many.
Posts: 1,259
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As i clicked the link i remembered how they had all told me id' be back, that no one ever left this place for good.
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What?
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December 1, 2003, 15:03
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#42
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,412
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Urban Ranger
Where are religion, romance, and mystery?
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Are you purposefully trying to be humorless, or did you just not get it?
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Tutto nel mondo è burla
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December 1, 2003, 16:27
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#43
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Prince
Local Time: 09:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Picksburgh
Posts: 837
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How about this one, Mono:
"Get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight."
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December 1, 2003, 18:35
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#44
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:25
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Location: New England
Posts: 3,572
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"Get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight."
On the one hand, it rings realistic, but on the other hand it seems a bit derivative of trainspotting. Still, it has punch. 6/10
__________________
"mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
Drake Tungsten
"get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
Albert Speer
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December 1, 2003, 18:40
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#45
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Emperor
Local Time: 14:25
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Howling at the moon
Posts: 4,421
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It needs a good follow-up line.
"Get laid, get that bum-fluff off your face and get out of mine."
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December 1, 2003, 18:53
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#46
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: New England
Posts: 3,572
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Too british. I mean, come on, fluff??? Jeez, it'll never sell in middle america.
__________________
"mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
Drake Tungsten
"get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
Albert Speer
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December 1, 2003, 18:55
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#47
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Prince
Local Time: 13:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Tory Party of 'Poly
Posts: 523
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"Don't Touch that!"
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eimi men anthropos pollon logon, mikras de sophias
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December 1, 2003, 19:30
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#48
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King
Local Time: 07:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Lost
Posts: 1,020
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Sadly, he never saw it coming.
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"Mal nommer les choses, c'est accroître le malheur du monde" - Camus (thanks Davout)
"I thought you must be dead ..." he said simply. "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. A kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic."
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December 1, 2003, 19:42
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#49
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 1,166
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"You are a gay tvvat." stated the moderator, completely devoid of irony.
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There's nothing wrong with the dream, my friend, the problem lies with the dreamer.
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December 1, 2003, 20:54
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#50
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 1,166
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Stefu noted the sheep where a bit more coy then usual.
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There's nothing wrong with the dream, my friend, the problem lies with the dreamer.
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December 1, 2003, 23:35
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#51
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,657
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Kaak
Sadly, he never saw it coming.
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I was skimnming the entries and noting the frequent use of commas. Hard to get a complex thought into one sentence without writing a complex sentence. Here Kaak settles for one slightly modified thought expressed in only six words and yet he insists on putting a comma in there.
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December 1, 2003, 23:38
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#52
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,657
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Are you purposefully trying to be humorless, or did you just not get it?
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Is this an entry? Cause it's the best line yet.
8/10
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December 1, 2003, 23:40
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#53
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,657
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Uncle Sparky
"You are a gay tvvat." stated the moderator, completely devoid of irony.
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Other than the puncuation errors, are you saying that the tvvat is devoid of irony or the moderator.
2/10
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December 1, 2003, 23:45
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#54
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,657
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Uncle Sparky
Stefu noted the sheep where a bit more coy then usual.
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Two misspelled words of eleven, yet no word over 5 letters. No poet sheppard thee. 3/10
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December 1, 2003, 23:47
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#55
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,412
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You should at least spell "punctuation" correctly when criticizing people over it.
(That can be an entry, too.)
__________________
Tutto nel mondo è burla
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December 1, 2003, 23:54
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#56
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Local Time: 15:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: jihadding against Danish Feta
Posts: 6,182
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Boris Godunov
You should at least spell "punctuation" correctly when criticizing people over it.
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7/10. You got me intrigued 
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"I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
"I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
"I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis
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December 1, 2003, 23:54
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#57
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Deity
Local Time: 21:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Are you purposefully trying to be humorless, or did you just not get it?
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Bah, you oaf, mine was an entry.
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
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December 1, 2003, 23:56
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#58
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,412
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Suuuure it was--but note mine got an 8/10. 
__________________
Tutto nel mondo è burla
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December 2, 2003, 00:00
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#59
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Deity
Local Time: 21:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Suuuure it was--but note mine got an 8/10.
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Unfair, I say, unfair!
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
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December 2, 2003, 00:02
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#60
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King
Local Time: 08:25
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,657
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Jimmytrick brushed the egg off his face, shot him a look, and slinked out through the kitchen.
"That's Godunov to beat me", he mumbled as he went.
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