it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II) - Page 11

self biased · December 27, 2003, 06:41

granted. Furries become Fluffies, and elect you their leader.

i wish i could get a hold of gia. i'm concerned for her safety.

Enigma_Nova · December 27, 2003, 07:59

Upon getting a hold of Gia, you accidentally strangle her. Oops!

I WANNA STOP MAJOR CORPORATIONS PROFITING FROM CHRISTMAS!!!

ICBM · December 27, 2003, 11:28

Granted. The ACLU makes Christmas illegal. THe major corporations then profit from the "holidays."

I wish I had turkey.

Mercator · December 27, 2003, 11:51

Granted. You become the military ruler of Turkey. Unfortunately, your rule ends prematurely when a coup restores democracy and sends you to prison for life.

I wish I could speak/understand/read/write all languages of the world fluently.

ICBM · December 27, 2003, 17:04

Granted. But then you mix up Russian and Chechen, and end up in a jail in Siberia.

I wish I could visit Tannu Tuva.

Q Classic · December 27, 2003, 17:31

you do. but your trip is an absolute nightmare, including but not limited to with missed connections, bad weather, food poisoning, muggings, mistaken identity, torture, botched rescue, and a taped porn session involving inflatable rubber pool toys, stuffed animals, animal suits, whips, chains, leather, flechettes, needles, drugs, nightvision, hot wax, and an ugly german-lithuanian dominatrix who uses you for scheisseporn.

i wish i could lift an 80-lbs pound box with no trouble at all.

Mr. Harley · December 28, 2003, 02:05

You can. Unfortunately, just like Arnold, you're going to need your heart valves replaced. Those pesky steroids.

I'm not sure if I wish I knew where Tannu Tuva is - or what scheisseporn.

Mercator · December 28, 2003, 08:53

Granted... You read my signature and find out where Tannu Tuva is.

Unfortunately, you also read the quote in my signature. You realise the truth and you can never love again. You get divorced (or lose your girlfriend, or never get married in the first place) and you die a lonely hermit in a shabby New York apartment, afraid of any human contact.

I wish I would be picked to take part in the next season of Survivor.

Enigma_Nova · December 28, 2003, 09:21

Granted. On survivor, you die. (!)

I wish this wish gets corrupted

Shogun Gunner · December 28, 2003, 09:43

Granted. On a parallel universe, your wish is corrupted. However, here in our plane of existence, you wish is fulfilled.

I wish, without any risk to my well being, I could enter the computer and take part in my Civilization games as a great leader.

Enigma_Nova · December 28, 2003, 10:49

Granted. You never had any well-being to begin with.
(Booya! Usurped!)

I wish the real world were as easy to conquer as Civ III's crappy AI

Kuciwalker · December 28, 2003, 13:28

Granted. Hitler won.

I wish C3's crappy AI was as difficult to conquer as the real world.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · December 28, 2003, 13:47

Granted. The game now has a running time of 8000 years (and counting), nobody understands the rules, everyone's playing different versions of the game and the odds are that your every bold move will result in your impending real-life death.

I wish I had had more Stilton.

ICBM · December 28, 2003, 13:50

Granted. Bismark conquers you on the first turn.

I wish Ming would perma-ban me so I would stop wasting so much time here.

edit --oops, crosspost...

Mr. Harley · December 29, 2003, 02:21

Lazarus. You have more Stilton. You eat so much you develop and severe allergy to it, go into anaphylactic shock, and spent you remaining days in a coma.

CIBM. Ming perma-bans you. You go searching for other forums, and join dozens. You post so much you get fired, have no social life, and end up as a segment on a reality show about the crazed, on-line hermit.

I wish I could get all the good affects of caffeine without the insomnia.

Enigma_Nova · December 29, 2003, 06:22

Granted. Now that coffee can no longer keep you awake, you experience all ZERO good effects.
(and eventually get sick from caffeine poisioning)

I wish Ming would show up in this thread so I could corrupt his wish.

Mr. Harley · December 29, 2003, 06:29

He does. He shuts it down, and you don't get to corrupt anything.

I wish that Ming and Urban Ranger let this reach 500 posts so it can die the whimpering death it so richly deserves.

Enigma_Nova · December 29, 2003, 07:06

Granted. It reaches 500 posts and all participants have their postcounts shaved by 20%.

I wish that...
(thinks how to phrase this correctly)
Sober, Rational, Deep Thought were valued and Peer aceptance/Conformism/Socialising were not.
EDIT: Valued as a general norm in all western society.

I'm essentially trying to get people to support me and revolt against my enemies... if this helps.

Kuciwalker · December 29, 2003, 11:33

Granted. They throw you out.

I wish to find out whose DL you are

JohnT · December 29, 2003, 11:35

You find out he's your DL, one who logons during your "missing periods."

I wish for a calm week.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · December 29, 2003, 13:40

Granted. Enjoy your hypoglycaemic coma, sir.

I wish I hadn't drunk all that scrumpy.

Enigma_Nova · December 29, 2003, 16:03

Granted. You drunk -something else- instead, and you don't feel very well at all.

Still wishin' individual thought to be valued more highly than conformist ignorance

st_swithin · December 29, 2003, 16:38

Poof! Individual thought is now the latest trend, and no concensus can ever be reached on any topic whatsoever, thus destroying the fragile illusion of democracy in the US and everywhere else.

I wish my narcissistic tendencies would manifest into a real imaginary friend instead of just my hallucinatory imaginary friend.

Theben · December 29, 2003, 19:13

Granted. Unfortunately your BF (current or future) develops a relationship with her, and you get into a big argument, whereupon she knifes you in the gut and they both ditch you. You get some satisfaction years later when you find her alone in a cheap dive in the dilly, whoring out to junkies to make ends meet.

I wish I could find some employees to hire who aren't thieves and/or totally incompetent.

Q Classic · December 29, 2003, 20:20

you do. however, it's found that you, the manager, are totally incompetent, and they make you redundant after setting up a perfect employee's worker's collektiv.

i wish bush would lose the next election, but that we'd have somebody good replacing him.

Theben · December 29, 2003, 20:26

Quote:

Originally posted by Q Cubed
you do. however, it's found that you, the manager, are totally incompetent, and they make you redundant after setting up a perfect employee's worker's collektiv.

Hell, that's perfect! Then I could get a real ****ing job.

Kuciwalker · December 29, 2003, 20:32

Granted. However, that "someone good" supports genocide against people of your race

I wish Ming would have let me change my name to "Anti-Tank Spearman"

Theben · December 29, 2003, 21:24

you should stay as skywalker

Ming · December 29, 2003, 21:43

Quote:

Originally posted by skywalker
I wish Ming would have let me change my name to "Anti-Tank Spearman"

Stop your whining

Theben · December 29, 2003, 22:08

Shwing! Ming changes your name to "Anti-Tank Spearman". But he actually has a judge do this irl, so that's your REAL name. At the same time, MtG successfully petitions Markos to make excessive whining a bannable offense, and you're banned for a year. When you return, your account info has been lost and 'skywalker' has been taken by someone else. Everyone now refers to you by your new nickname, 'loser'; the only four remaining that are not banned by Ming, MtG, or UR (rah being banned by MtG after the new offense of being 'too soft' on posters; another successful petition by MtG to Markos).

I wish that Ming wasn't being such a snark today.