it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II) - Page 14

ICBM · January 7, 2004, 03:41

Granted. But to fit the infinite staples, you must have an infinitely long stapler, which does not fit in the room, or even in the universe. Happy stapling.

I wish for world peace. (Don't I sound like one of those brainless beauty contest people?)

p.s. SG: if that happened, then Ming would make himself irritated by changing his own name to M*ng.

-Jrabbit · January 7, 2004, 10:05

Granted. The resulting inevitable collapse of the military-industrial complex causes global economic collapse.

I wish my company would just put me in charge of all marketing communications functions so I wouldn't have to fix other people's idiotic mistakes.

Mr. Harley · January 7, 2004, 11:22

There's nobody around to fix YOURS. You make a single major oops, and the resulting media feeding frenzy, coupled with a government investigation, cause your company to go bankrupt.

I wish spelling in English was phonetic.

ICBM · January 7, 2004, 21:07

Granted. All speling in English iz now fonetik, but now nobody kan reed it or spel it.

I wish I could sleep.

Mr. Harley · January 8, 2004, 02:44

You can. Unfortunately, you will not waken until a handsome prince passionately kisses you.

I wish that white chocolate chip - macedamia nut cookies had half the calories but tasted just as good.

self biased · January 8, 2004, 05:05

granted. after eating the first one, your sexual orientation turns to "furry."

i wish that i didn't have to re-purchase cds. that i could just call up the RIAA and have a replacement sent to me should my original be damaged.

Mr. Harley · January 8, 2004, 08:19

Absolutely. They don't mind at all, since they finally have imposed their hardware based royalty scheme. You pay them 10 cents every time you PLAY a song.

I wish my wife had nice, feline "furr" over her entire body (soft and silky) since self-biased changed my sexual orientation, thus letting me indulge both my deepest furry desires, and to keep eating those delicious half-the-calorie macadamia/white chocolate chip cookies.

Enigma_Nova · January 8, 2004, 15:51

Granted. You De-furrify, lose interest in your wife, who promtly manages to kill you because of what she transformed into.

I wish this thread makes it to 400

Theben · January 8, 2004, 17:31

Granted. The thread reaches 400 posts. Because of this, you die. Horribly.

I wish that people would stop dying when they make wishes.

Shogun Gunner · January 8, 2004, 17:37

Granted, they live a long and tormented life instead.

I wish that all of my unfilfilled wishes were instantly granted to my satisfaction without corruption.

Theben · January 8, 2004, 17:55

Granted, but you fail to realize all your previous wishes have been fulfilled. However this wish is realized to your satisfaction without corruption. As a result, you live a long and tormented life.

I wish that all super-secret ninjas came with remote controlled adapters.

PLATO · January 8, 2004, 20:02

Granted, but you realize that you have no batteries for the remotes. The Ninja's turn on you and you are savagely wounded (was going to say killed but Shogun Gunner granted Theban's wish!)

I wish that I would find the winning lottery ticket in the parking lot of my favorite convienience store.

ICBM · January 8, 2004, 21:02

Granted. But 10 million other people also find tickets in parking lots, and you only win $17. (Yes, I have seen the movie Bruce Almighty)

I wish the temperature in Florida would be 0 Fahrenheit just to teach those idiots down there a lesson.

Drogue · January 8, 2004, 21:20

It is, however it is during the election, and the freak winds that coincide with the temperatures means that people cannot go outside to the polling stations to vote, and so another debacle ensues.

I wish ** ********** ***** ***** **** ** I could read what I just wrote.

mrmitchell · January 8, 2004, 21:24

Granted, now you can read everything that is hidden, and you go insane once you realize what everyone is trying to hide.

mrmitchell · January 8, 2004, 21:27

I wish that a drunk Bill Gates hit my car (only a tap, no more than a dent) in the middle of night, and as he got out to say "Isf't ther some way we cfan work this wifout the police" his wallet fell out of his pocket, dropping $100 bills and credit cards labeled "Billionaire Edition" to the ground.

Drogue · January 8, 2004, 21:40

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmitchell
Granted, now you can read everything that is hidden, and you go insane once you realize what everyone is trying to hide.

I thought someone was going to make an attempt at what I was trying to say, but something nasty enough to be corrupt. Nice change

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmitchell
I wish that a drunk Bill Gates hit my car (only a tap, no more than a dent) in the middle of night, and as he got out to say "Isf't ther some way we cfan work this wifout the police" his wallet fell out of his pocket, dropping $100 bills and credit cards labeled "Billionaire Edition" to the ground.

He does, however the Billionaire Edition cards should have told you that it was a special Monopoly money set, complete with credit.

I wish I could turn water into wine.

ICBM · January 8, 2004, 22:01

Granted. You can now turn water into wine, and you become very famous... so famous in fact, that worship of you ends up overtaking Christianity, and a very irate Pope visits you to make your life a living hell.

I wish I had more cheese puffs.

Enigma_Nova · January 9, 2004, 04:22

Granted. You now work at a cheese puff sweatshop.

Wishing for the clarity to see things unbiased by perspective

Mr. Harley · January 9, 2004, 05:58

You can. Since you have no perspective, everyone say - "He's brilliant, but a fool." Nobody pays any attention to your utterances.

I wish that I didn't have a glitch in my SMAC that doesn't let me get research for the first five years (see post in SMAC forums).

mrmitchell · January 9, 2004, 09:44

Granted. Now, you have a glitch in Windows that doesn't let you turn on your computer for five years.

I wish for five hundred billion dollars in various currencies and investments.

Shogun Gunner · January 9, 2004, 10:20

Granted. Five hundred billion dollars of bad Japanese loans, failed investments and confederate money is yours.

I wish I could make food good for me taste good too. Broccoli and spinach for dinner? Aspargas for desert? AWESOME!

Mr. Harley · January 9, 2004, 12:46

You can. You learn that adding cheese and/or butter can make almost anything delicious. Using honey and borwn sugar completes your transition. You switch career paths from Ninja to Sumo Wrestler, for obvious reasons.

I wish I had a Hal9000 that was sane.

-Jrabbit · January 9, 2004, 15:03

You do. But while reading your lips, Hal learns the truth -- that you're insane, and must be terminated.

I wish my doctor would have allowed me to start golfing again two weeks ago.

Snowflake · January 9, 2004, 16:36

He did. But then he didn't expect you'd break another leg.

I wish I have 48 hours per day.

-Jrabbit · January 9, 2004, 17:14

You do -- because you now live on Saturn.

I wish it would stop snowing.

mrmitchell · January 9, 2004, 17:46

Granted. It never snows again.

I wish Oncle Boris, Tripledoc, etc. would go ahead and tell whose DL they are.

Lonestar · January 9, 2004, 19:26

Granted. It turns out they're yours!

I wish Bush will really go through with this space stuff.

Shadowstrike · January 9, 2004, 20:33

Granted. You are sent to Mars to participate in the War Against Terror against the Martians. You are incinerated by a heat-ray on your first day on the job.

I wish for dinosaurs to be resurrected.

Mr. Harley · January 9, 2004, 20:43

They are. It turns out that some are purple (a velociraptor, of course), and as smart as a grey parrot. They take them to malls as Barney substitutes. Despite all the safety precautions, one gets lose at a mall and mauls you (shamelessly plagerized).

I wish the physicists discovered how to make cheap, plentiful, and SAFE anti-matter.