it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II)

[Q Classic]

hehe. not animated at all. not yet, anyway...

[monolith94]

"i wish dust would never ever get near computers, or keyboards, or monitors, or all associated hardware."

Granted. It all collects on YOU instead.

I wish that I get all As on my next report card.

[mrmitchell]

I wish that I get all As on my next report card.

Granted. Your teachers all write

Awful student.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

[monolith94]

Granted, you are now dead.

I wish that I had the ability to focus my efforts

[Q Classic]

you can and you do. unfortunately, they're all focused on you trying to become a mime.

i wish conservatives would realize that reagan was not the messiah.

[Urban Ranger]

Granted. Now they think he's God

I wish I had more willpower

[Shogun Gunner]

You meet an attractive man named Will very anxious to provide you a lot of power

I was I was watching Tivo at home right now.

[Q Classic]

you are. however, tivo is the name of your wall, and you've just covered it in a fresh coat of paint.

i wish that christmas vacation were already here.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. You get an early Christmas vacation, but you are given ten major assignments you must complete during your Christmas break.

I wish everyone walked on their hands, not their feet.

[-Jrabbit]

Granted. The definitions of "foot" and "hand" have been reversed in all dictionaries.

I wish there were no negative consequences to unprotected sex.

[MrFun]

Damn, Jrabbit -- who here would be cold-hearted enough to put a negative twist on that kind of a wish??

[Q Classic]

me.

there are no negative consquences to unprotected sex.

however, you have to do it with the ugliest, skankyburnsiest, dirtiest person in the world, and you have no say in it.

i wish for one absolutely beautiful woman to plop into my lap and be absolutely enamored with me.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. A beautiful woman "plops" in your lap, but you have to clean that up. Oh, by the way, she's totally enamored with the way you clean up her sh*t.

I wish I could clone myself and control my clone by remote control while the clone was at work.

[-Jrabbit]

Granted. but controlling your clone takes far more time and concentration than work ever did, totally taking over your life while your clone maintains your old, easy schedule.

I wish Chicago had S. California's climate so I could golf here year-round.

[ICBM]

Granted. Chicago now has Southern California's climate, but because of the global warming that causes Chicago to have Southern California's climate also causes Southern California to become as hot as the surface of Venus. Well, since you wished for Chicago to have the same climate as Southern California, it now has the climate of Venus. (I know that didn't make any sense, but I don't care.

I wish there was a tunnel between the dorms here and the main buildings of the college.

[Spec]

Granted. But the first time you use it, a major earthquake makes it collapse and you die.

I wish I had free monthly income.


Spec.

[Q Classic]

granted. however, rabid conservative nuts try to take it away from you, thinking it's welfare, while rabid liberal nuts keep expecting you to somehow have more babies.

i wish that weren't so stereotypically prejudiced.

[-Jrabbit]

Granted. Your views on race and politics are now considered the norm of political correctness, and society collapses under the strain, resulting in open revolution, with the angry mob having only you to blame.

I wish alcohol did not affect one's motor skills.

[monolith94]

Granted. Also, sex becomes unconditionally unpleasant.

[-Jrabbit]

Nice one.

I wish monolith had posted a wish.

[Q Classic]

granted. however, ming had erased it.

i wish everybody could see the joy one can find in a compressed air can.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. The demand for cans of compressed air grows so large, that there is no air left for the atmosphere. Everything gets sucked out to space. Thanks a lot, Q Cubed.

I wish the US penny was removed from circulation.

[-Jrabbit]

Granted. The resulting supply glut of copper causes the futures market to collapse, sending the economy into a tailspin.

I wish I had a photographic memory.

[Shogun Gunner]

You do, but it comes with Alzheimers.

I wish waffles were round.

[Whoha]

Granted, waffles are now round, but the only equipment to make them is still not round, so no waffles for anyone.

I wish for pretzels

[MrFun]

Originally posted by ICBM


I wish there was a tunnel between the dorms here and the main buildings of the college.

Ah ha! Just as I always suspected -- you're the overlord of gophers!!

[ICBM]

Granted. You now have pretzels. In fact, you now have billions and billions of pretzels. In order to get the salt for all those pretzels, the salt is removed from the Dead Sea, causing fewer tourists to go there. Enraged that you would harm their economy like this, the Israelis and the Palestineans join together to kick your ass.

I wish I could speak Russian fluently.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. You are thrown in the Russian Gulag deep in Siberia. In order to stop Russian convicts from doing nasty things to you, you quickly learn fluent Russian.

I wish I was always where I needed to be, having everything I need, doing what I want to do.

[civman2000]

Granted. Unfortunately, a few minutes after being granted your wish is revoked.

I wish that Shogun Gunner's wish above be revoked!

[ICBM]

edit - Oops, hit the wrong link. Please delete.