Things more painful than Xmas shopping on Dec. 23

Guynemer · December 23, 2003, 17:40

Another complete, comprehensive, and unabridged list, brought to you by Guynemer:

1. Christmas shopping on December 24
2. Sexual intercourse with Ann Coulter

This has been another complete, comprehensive, and unabridged list, brought to you by Guynemer.

This after getting back to Detroit-Wayne County Metro Airport at 12:30AM, following a soul-crushing five days spent in Phoenix for my fiancee's grandmother's funeral.

I'm back, and I'm pissed. Who wants to fight?

Imran Siddiqui · December 23, 2003, 17:41

3. Sexual intercourse with Hillary Clinton

Bereta_Eder · December 23, 2003, 17:41

3. **** Cheney

Arrian · December 23, 2003, 17:42

4. Being forced to listen to the music you most hate for a comparable amount of time.

-Arrian

Jac de Molay · December 23, 2003, 17:43

Quote:

2. Sexual intercourse with Ann Coulter

One paper bag and a fifth of Jagermeister would probably make that experience a lot more palatable.

Guynemer · December 23, 2003, 17:46

Until the teeth in her vagina bit your willy off.

Dis · December 23, 2003, 17:49

she doesn't have a vagina

KrazyHorse · December 23, 2003, 17:52

I wish we were allowed DLs

The Ann Coulter one would be here in a flash.

Guynemer · December 23, 2003, 17:53

I wonder if "Vagina Dentata" is available as a handle.

Imran Siddiqui · December 23, 2003, 17:54

I'm sure it'd get restricted faster than you can say: "Ming is a bastard"

KrazyHorse · December 23, 2003, 17:55

I did all of my Christmas shopping yesterday in the space of 3.5 hours.

Imran Siddiqui · December 23, 2003, 17:57

Because of my family's religion, I only had to get Christmas gifts for my friends... haha!

Provost Harrison · December 23, 2003, 18:11

Who is Ann Coulter?

KrazyHorse · December 23, 2003, 18:12

Whiny ***** with a bad dye job.

Bereta_Eder · December 23, 2003, 18:13

all i know is she has an adam's apple

KrazyHorse · December 23, 2003, 18:13

And teeth in her vagina.

Drogue · December 23, 2003, 18:46

She's an American right-wing columnist. Everyone 'Poly wise seems to hate her, except for Ned who agrees with her, and Ted Striker who'd "hit that"

Dis · December 26, 2003, 02:40

I'd hit that too

Drogue · December 26, 2003, 20:31

Then you're a braver (or less attached) man that I

axi · December 26, 2003, 21:05

Having missed christmas shopping on Dec.23 and being given a wonderful gift, while you have nothing to give in return.

Also

Having your house fall on your head at 5:30 am the day after christmas, simply because you were too poor and too Iranian to go christmas shopping in some fancy American mall.

DRoseDARs · December 26, 2003, 21:08

Some animals can detach their body parts at will and grow replacements...

Things more painful than X-mas shopping on Dec. 23?
Shopping at Walmart on Dec. 26. 2 minutes walking over to and picking up travel locks for my trip tomorrow...30 minutes standing inline behind 3 shopping carts'o'crap pushed 2 adults and their 4.7 children (a bun is in the oven) taking advantage of post-Christmas Offloading Our Crap'a'Thon holiday savings.

mrmitchell · December 26, 2003, 21:08

Quote:

Who is Ann Coulter?

One of the most inflammatory and ultra-partisan ******* media figures that America is forced to suffer through.

more things more painful than dec24 xmas shopping:
1. Getting that $30 DVD player at Wal-Mart after thanksgiving

2. Running a recent shooter game on my computer
3. (Thanks Drosedars

) Purchasing PtW only to find out C3C had already been released and included PtW
4. Being crushed very slowly under a 20,000 pound weight that is controlled by a mechanism that times the painful death over a twenty-four hour period
5. The unfortunate guy in this joke:

A man was traveling and needed a place to rest for the night, so he stopped at an old Chinese man's house. The Chinese man was very kind and offered him a dinner and a bed. But there was one catch--the Chinese man had a very beautiful daughter. If, he said, the traveler slept with the daughter, he would go through the three most greuling tortures possible. That was easy enough, the traveler thought.

At the table during dinner, the traveler saw the daughter and DAMN was she HOT! He had to have her, screw the old man's punishments. Later that night, he and her had a night of unreprintable lovemaking. He quietly slipped back upstairs to his room later, and was sure the old man would never know.

That morning he woke up, having difficulty breathing. As he opened his eyes he saw a huge boulder on his chest, and propped up on it was a card that read "Torture Number One: Boulder on Chest." "I can deal with that", the man thought, and pushed the rock off him to the floor.

Figuring he'd might as well get rid of it, he threw the boulder out of the window. He noticed a card glued to its bottom as he did so, that read "Torture Number Two: Boulder tied to left nut." He starts feeling a slight tugging on his manhood as the rope starts to lose its slack, and, hurriedly figuring that a fall is better than his organ being injured, quickly jumps out the window with the rock.

An assortment of sticks and rocks is placed on the ground outside the window. He reads it in awful horror.

"Torture Number Three: Right nut tied to bedpost."

DRoseDARs · December 26, 2003, 21:12

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmitchell
3. (Thanks Drosedars

) Purchasing PtW only to find out C3C had already been released and included PtW

You're NOT welcome. I take no pleasure in reminding others of their pain.

Kuciwalker · December 26, 2003, 21:15

Reaching Deity only to suddenly get a 20% pcr