Literary Analysis of Apolyton Posters - Page 3

Dr Strangelove · December 27, 2003, 10:25

No one dares to analyze me!

Bugs ****ing Bunny · December 27, 2003, 10:52

Stefu

Stefu's relentless quest to expose the internet's more bizarre sexual fetishes has been recently exposed as a diversionary tactic in order to hide his own position as founder of the "Udderlings". Udderlings have a sexual fixation on dairy produce and depict themselves as anthropomorphic cheeses, yoghurts or other milk-based produce. Stefu (real name Tatu Ahahahahahahahahahaha!) is known in their community as "Big Cheese" and is justly famous for his artwork depicting the furry and moist intimate patches of bacillus growth of fellow Udderlings. Every Friday night his community congregate for "tinysex" sessions (known as "churning" amongst Udderlings) where Stefu can be seen enthusiastically licking the rinds of his colleagues.

Stefu's greatest claim to fame in Apolyton came in Suomithreadi 4 where he accidentally performed a successful demonic summoning through mis-spelling a particularly obscure gynaecological term and had to abandon his posting for the night after vomiting ectoplasm over his keyboard.

Asher

Asher is not his original handle- he was previously known as "Ihavenoarms" and made all his posts by pressing his face into his keyboard and giving the keys a vigorous tonguing. Regrettably, being a typical sloppy computer-based "indoor type" his habit of eating at his PC caused crumbs and food debris to collect in his keyboard. This festering filth around the toxic keys of his i-Mac caused his tongue-based posting to give him botulism, which he blamed on Steve Jobs.

After abandoning his concept posting, he started using his arms again. He also branched out into the performance art scene where he met his boyfriend- an avant-garde mime artiste who recently spent a full three weeks on a Calgary street corner impersonating an Intel-compatible heatsink. Asher was so impressed that he took him home to meet his motherboard.

He posts on Counterglow despite being Canadian, and is best-known there for his publicly-stated desire to have artificial breasts fitted so that he can nurture and suckle Venom.

Skanky Burns

Antipodean trawlerman recently released back into the community after an unfortunate incident with a gazelle in a juicer. Skanky firmly believes that if you can't say something nice about someone then you shouldn't say anything at all, and therefore spent a couple of years moaning and gently butting his head against the wall while visiting Apolyton. This ended last June when he unexpectedly snapped during a visit to the M003 forums and posting an 8,000 word diatribe describing exactly why everyone posting on that day was a "stinking **** ****" and anounced that on his next visit he would be posting stark bollock naked and wearing DanQ's severed head as a rudimentary penis sheath.

Famously stated on Apolyton that he had been stalking Dan Magaha for years and now had some grainy photos of him sunbathing naked at Cyprus which he intended t auction on E-bay. Just before the thread was locked, he announced that extracts of the Civ4 source code could be clearly seen reflected in Dan's suntan-oiled scrotum, hence the high reserve price.

Whaleboy · December 27, 2003, 11:11

Missing someone?

Urban Ranger · December 27, 2003, 11:35

What does that have anything to do with their literary style?

Bugs ****ing Bunny · December 27, 2003, 11:41

To understand the style, you must first understand the man, Grasshopper.

Urban Ranger · December 27, 2003, 11:47

DarkCloud · December 27, 2003, 13:21

Quote:

-Lonestar

The poster no one remembers to refer too.

...Even though you are refered to in Imran's itinerary

-
Sorry Skywalker, I'm not sure what I can say about you...
-

Stefu

Stefu is the quintessential Finnish humorous author. He brings the humor of Finland to the community of Apolyton at no cost. He’s here every day in and every day out, posting away, relating his intelligent observations and considerations of the world at large.

Unlike many of his brethern, Stefu still takes the time to post outside of the Suomithreadii

(ed- Of course many of the finns post outside the thread, but this just sounds better) Stefu’s consideration for the English language should be well noted in this day and age when so many posters strive to communicate solely in alternative languages. (The large and ominous Welsh-bloc provides just one example of this seditious trend in modern literature)

Stefu, in lending Finnish humor to English-speakers in their native language, provides an oft-overlooked insight into both Finnish culture and his own character. Through his literature, Stefu reveals to us all that he is more than just another “scary foreigner” from the Northern Wastes (as so many Apolytoners happen to be) and that he is a warm person- oft-given to creating smilies on demand and enlightening banners depicting nefarious bag-men molesting cute little kittens.

In addition to all that, Stefu very possibly was the originator of one of the longest-running cultural traditions here at Apolyton, that of the Banana-option in polls. And for that, some may thank him, and some may trash him. But whatever the “banana” option may be... intellectual waste, or cultural icon- “banana” is very much apolyton and apolyton “banana” will stay.

Asher

The name "Asher" immediately brings to mind the name of one of the lost tribes of Israel to any literary person... However, most literary persons would run screaming from the name if they knew what dark and occult words were uttered hence from its mouth.

There is so much to say about Asher and his general literary contributions that is best left unsaid.

Therefore this reviewer will honorably allow someone else to detail the life of this relatively young hell-raiser from the evil Canadian North... For he is too afraid to do so himself.

DarkCloud · December 27, 2003, 13:24

Solver, UberKruX, I'll try to get to you at some point in the future

Quote:

Well, no, not everybody. I mean, he couldn't even be bothered writing stuff on someone he does know and then slapping the name "Skanky" on the end of it. It worked well enough for Sava.

-
Whaleboy, sorry, I must admit that I do not know enough about you to be able to do thee justice.

DarkCloud · December 27, 2003, 13:25

Dr Strangelove- I'll see what I can do.

Lazarus and the Gimp- Good work

[It's good to see someone backing me up

]

David Floyd · December 27, 2003, 15:05

Ooh, do me

Theben · December 27, 2003, 16:16

Sounds like Dave's sexually frustrated.

Oerdin · December 27, 2003, 16:41

It sure does.

Theben · December 27, 2003, 16:47

Judging by your last 2 avatars, I could wonder the same about you.

Oerdin · December 27, 2003, 16:57

Good point.

OzzyKP · December 27, 2003, 17:01

Quote:

Originally posted by Lonestar
-Lonestar

The poster no one remembers to refer too.

Ozzy too.

Verto · December 27, 2003, 17:09

Who?

OzzyKP · December 27, 2003, 17:12

Someone other than the 11-year-old girl in the holiday picture thread.

MrFun · December 27, 2003, 18:15

Quote:

Originally posted by Lonestar
-Lonestar

The poster no one remembers to refer too.

Do you want to join my club?

DarkCloud · December 27, 2003, 21:36

David Floyd

A Libertarian of some repute, David Floyd continues to churn out manifestos that would make even the great Ramo bow before in worship (ed-

) during his daily debating diatribes.

This humble reviewer positively notes that David Floyd has chosen to remain at Apolyton despite graduation (??) or increased workload at college in Austin, the musical/literary capital of the State of Texas. With so much going on around him, we are led to wonder what draws this man of many letters to the word.

Could it be moral outrage? Could it be a desire to change the world?
Or could it just be that he is but a humble soul with something to say?

Only David himself knows the truth, and even then, many men never come to know the full truth about their inner soul until the time becomes too late. Therefore, we can only suppose as to what is the motivation for his political radicalism.

Dr Strangelove

An amazing M.D., Dr. Strangelove authors works of medical advice for common Apolytoners across the site.

His medical advice provides a window into the soul of an entirely foreign world. Most literary authors discuss details about the state of the union or the state of the world or the state of man. Dr Strangelove discusses something that is much closer to us all, especially in this age of the superannuated and the reign of the octogenarian voter.

As the Baby-Boom generation ages, men of Strangelove’s repute will be increasingly sought after at literary forums across the Internet. They will become sages, well-respected men.

Dr. Strangelove is merely a predecessor of an amazing trend. And for paving the way for men of professional non-esoteric literary status, and allowing them to come to the head of literature, he should be honored and respected.

And I truly believe, that thanks to Strangelove’s vast medical departing, we can all graciously thank him for giving us “le vie.”

UberKruX

A highly dangerous political reactionary, UberKruX has been censored for his free-speech in the past. His avatars have been disabled and his references to the Nazi party deleted. However, despite this oppression, UberKruX has steadfastly held to his beliefs.

He is a strong proponent of many things, and “keeps to his guns.” He has a seemingly endless reserve of time and talent, which he deigns to spend writing, working on his daily manifestos and proclamations. As more people read his works and become subverted by them, the establishment truly does have to worry. If people like he, and Albert Speer and Lonestar come to dominate the world, then one day, perhaps we will have to deal with a new Overman in charge of us all.

But would that truly be so bad?

In the days of the Greeks, Dictators were seen as the only way for a society to be led into the future! Dictators could make decisions and regulate things without red-tape. Their only drawback was that they could never know everything about a nation... However, if they were properly educated and were men of self-sacrifice, then truly they could perhaps become the “overman-for others,” serving the people and not themselves, serving the world and aiding its development.

Solver

Sadly, this literary force, though contributing much, tends to contribute heavily in the Multiplayer section of this literary forum... Depriving others of his time and talent and dedication. In contributing to the Multiplayer section, he gains literary ‘points’ but fails to contribute anything of lasting value. For shame. (ed:

hahahahahahah

)

When he does refrain from the vulgar, and decides to participate in the debate, however, Solver proves a valuable commodity. He is not overly vicious, nor is he overly sympathetic. He represents the common denominator... A sight not often seen in heavily polarized and politicized forums. Championing the cause of decent consideration, Solver is a hero in his own right, even though many may not thank him for it- he brings to the world an oft-missed modicum of tolerance.

Therefore, I say that we must toast to Solver, may he come to revile the vulgar and participate more fully in the site that is Apolyton.

--
[As much as Democracy Games are spammy... I consider Multiplayer games moreso

... that explains my malice

]

Vince278 · December 28, 2003, 00:43

Quote:

Originally posted by David Floyd
Ooh, do me

I haven't heard that phrase this much since high school.

DC: Read my last hundred or so posts (and then my sig line) and you all will have some idea of what I'm about.

*Donning flame-proof suit as a precaution*

chequita guevara · December 28, 2003, 01:45

darkcloud is too nice to you freaks.

Inverse Icarus · December 28, 2003, 01:50

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkCloud
UberKruX

A highly dangerous political reactionary, UberKruX has been censored for his free-speech in the past. His avatars have been disabled and his references to the Nazi party deleted. However, despite this oppression, UberKruX has steadfastly held to his beliefs.

He is a strong proponent of many things, and “keeps to his guns.” He has a seemingly endless reserve of time and talent, which he deigns to spend writing, working on his daily manifestos and proclamations. As more people read his works and become subverted by them, the establishment truly does have to worry. If people like he, and Albert Speer and Lonestar come to dominate the world, then one day, perhaps we will have to deal with a new Overman in charge of us all.

But would that truly be so bad?

In the days of the Greeks, Dictators were seen as the only way for a society to be led into the future! Dictators could make decisions and regulate things without red-tape. Their only drawback was that they could never know everything about a nation... However, if they were properly educated and were men of self-sacrifice, then truly they could perhaps become the “overman-for others,” serving the people and not themselves, serving the world and aiding its development.

HAHAHAHAHA AWESOME

Tiamat · December 28, 2003, 02:06

Quote:

Originally posted by David Floyd
Ooh, do me

I know I've been gone for a while but........still no women 'eh daveyyyyyy boy

Skanky Burns · December 28, 2003, 02:21

Laz

Vince278 · December 28, 2003, 03:43

It just occurred to me that the title of this thread could be considered an oxymoron.

Solver · December 28, 2003, 09:43

DC,

I don't know where you got the impression I post too much in MP forums. Lately, I don't post much there, more the occasional post.

Many more of my posts are from elsewhere

. According to my estimates, CtP-MP posts are fewer than 1500.

Space05us · December 28, 2003, 10:45

poop!

The Mad Monk · December 28, 2003, 10:54

Quote:

Originally posted by Q Cubed
you're all wrong.

you're right.

Enigma_Nova · December 28, 2003, 10:59

Quote:

Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Or, indeed, anything comprehensible.

Nah you're just not trying.

Then again I don't try to be understandable, do I?

Oh well - these are my words take from them what you will. Though chances are that all of our understandings are flawed.

Theben · December 28, 2003, 12:17

Quote:

Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Stefu

Stefu's relentless quest to expose the internet's more bizarre sexual fetishes has been recently exposed as a diversionary tactic in order to hide his own position as founder of the "Udderlings". Udderlings have a sexual fixation on dairy produce and depict themselves as anthropomorphic cheeses, yoghurts or other milk-based produce. Stefu (real name Tatu Ahahahahahahahahahaha!) is known in their community as "Big Cheese" and is justly famous for his artwork depicting the furry and moist intimate patches of bacillus growth of fellow Udderlings. Every Friday night his community congregate for "tinysex" sessions (known as "churning" amongst Udderlings) where Stefu can be seen enthusiastically licking the rinds of his colleagues.