Who Is The Person That Has Made The Biggest Difference In Your Life

Sprayber · December 28, 2003, 04:38

I've never really had any one person dominate my life. My mother raised me by herself but I always had my own identity and most changes I have made in my life have been my own. That is until I met Rebecca. She forced a lot of changes in me without her really trying to. For the most part I knew who I was and thought that I knew most of the answers in life. I always knew how to play things so that I came out somehow on top. Even through the painful years, I was somehow just a little smug. Oh I have always been considered a nice guy but I judged a lot of people. When she came along that all seemed to change. The resulting disasters and pain and her eventual death, tore me down to ground. The lessons I took from her about what was really important in life remain strong. The most important thing I took from my time with her was a strong dose of humility. I loved her with everything I had, and when she and the baby were taken away I was left with nothing. My priorities are radically different now. Some things don't bother me as they once did. If I care for someone, I tell them. If they can't care for me like I do them, then It's ok. I don't feel the need to act tough or pretend like things don't bother me because I'm afraid to show weakness. The simple things mean more to me now. Someone laughing at my jokes. Or simply bringing a smile to their faces. Things like being there to listen to their troubles. Rebecca changed my life. I don't like the person I was before I met her. I try every day not to go back there. I only wish that I could go back and somehow change the events. But even in that I understand that I can't. All I can do is to help the ones I'm with now.

Before Rebecca, I was only half of what I could be. She will always be the light of my life. For those that have kept reading this far, you may wonder why I'm writing all this. Her birthday would have been today. I still remember and I will always try to take a little time on that day to remember her and what she ment to me. Next month will be the aniversary of her accident, and then the next will be the anniversy of her death. My top quote is something that I would always end my messages or notes that I would write. I guess I havent let go completely. But she still lives on in my heart and the person that I am today.

I love you Rebecca....

Imran Siddiqui · December 28, 2003, 04:40

Drake Tungsten · December 28, 2003, 05:14

Jesus, and I was about to bust in here and say "Imran Siddiqui"...

Imran Siddiqui · December 28, 2003, 05:22

No you weren't... now continue being sad.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · December 28, 2003, 05:24

Imran Siddiqui.

Drake Tungsten · December 28, 2003, 05:30

Solver · December 28, 2003, 09:58

Enigma_Nova · December 28, 2003, 09:58

Sprayber: Heh. Well I guess this was a lesson for you, but although experience is the greatest teacher it kills off all its pupils. (!)

Person (other than me) which has inspired the greatest difference?
It is not the experience but how we adapt to it that shapes who we are.
Based on that personal change always a joint effort between external stimuli and my own thoughts/opinions.

Damn this is a tough question.
There is no alpha. If I were to put it down to someone it would be my High School Deputy Principal, for both understanding and guidance.

One of the few people I can cite that identified my potential before ignorantly trying to change me.
Was I changed? Probably... but not without my consent. So long as my consent is present my potential is preserved, and I have to be content with that.

JohnT · December 28, 2003, 10:24

Quote:

Sprayber: Heh. Well I guess this was a lesson for you, but although experience is the greatest teacher it kills off all its pupils.

Sprayber, my condolences.

For me the answer is obvious: Laura and Sophie.

Also my (maternal) grandparents and my father.

Enigma_Nova · December 28, 2003, 10:44

Just because I'm meant do conform show upset doesn't mean that I will.

Whaleboy · December 28, 2003, 12:06

Sprayber · December 28, 2003, 15:34

This post wasn't meant to be sad, but I guess it ended up that way. The first year I was a mess for most of it, and now the second has come and is nearly gone and I find that I was ok for most of it. Holidays were a little rough. But I know I have a few friends that are around if I need them. I have three amazing people in my life that I know I can count on. They don't prop me up but are just there when I need someone to talk with as I am for them. With some well overdo luck, one of them will curious enough to step a little closer and want to move beyond what we have. Things are actually looking pretty good despite the somber nature of this thread. But the whole point is that Rebecca will never be replaced and she will always be in my heart. All the ingredients of who I am were already there, she was just the person who unlocked it.

st_swithin · December 28, 2003, 16:39

Dr. Denis Leary, who told me to STFU and nobody had ever told me that before. I feel so much better about myself.

Kuciwalker · December 28, 2003, 16:47

Al Gore, for inventing the Internet and thus 'Poly

Inverse Icarus · December 28, 2003, 16:56

the combo of OBL + Bush will continue to change my life for quite a while, i suppose.

Drogue · December 28, 2003, 23:25

I remember when my Grandmother (fatehr's side) died. She was the first person I knew who'd died. At the funeral, I felt sad, and went to talk to my mum. She wasn't upset, and so I asked her why, she said "your Grandma said that when she died, she wanted people to celebrate her life, and not to comisurate her death." While this is hard, I found this a much easier way to deal with life and grief. Whenever I've lost someone, either through death or circumstance, and it comes to an anniversary or a time when I would remember them, I try to think of the times I spent with them and how they made me feel, and not about the fact that they aren't there to anymore.

In answer to your question: Louise

Just by being there and making me feel what I do for her she has had a huge impact, but she's also made me look at things far more positively at myself and the future. She dominates my thoughts, and makes me happy. She captivates me in a way I haven't felt before, and constantly makes a huge difference in my life. I owe her a lot. I was able to pick up the pieces after failing to get into uni, get my head together and reapply because she was there to help and support me. She both helps me to live the way and be who I want to be, and makes me want to be that person. She gives me a reason to be the person I want to be, and without her I wouldn't be myself.

Also, for very different reasons, and in far less acute a sense, my best friend Gracie. She's been there for years, and while she has almost none of the characteristics I would usually look for in a friend, she has been a great friend to me. She tells me when I'm doing something stupid, and tells me not to hurt myself. She is like a grounding force, in the same way my mum is. When I got the offer (again) for Oxford, she simply told me that I'd better not **** up again, else she'd come and give me beats. Which, at the time, was exactly what I needed to hear.

Without them, I would be a very different person. A far worse person.

Evil Knevil · December 28, 2003, 23:50

Mr Jack Daniels

Shogun Gunner · December 29, 2003, 00:18

Sprayber,

That is incredible touching. You handle the most difficult challenge in life with grace and wisdom. Rebecca must have been a wonderful woman.

I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

Enigma_Nova · December 29, 2003, 06:30

Yeah, Death will frustrate some people at times, but all people stuff up eventually. Best not to let it get to you; there are better ways to waste your energy.

EDIT: Singular / Plural error

DaShi · December 29, 2003, 08:12

Spray, despite your loss, you are very lucky to have found someone so special even if just for awhile. Few people get to experience that. With so many people dragging eachother down, it's moving to hear about those who lift others up.

-Jrabbit · December 29, 2003, 12:52

Quote:

I guess I havent let go completely.

Good for you. Don't.
And don't believe those who say you should.

Spec · December 29, 2003, 13:31

My dad.

Spec.

Heresson · December 29, 2003, 21:40

My best friend who got to the point he hates me and started bashing me with the rest of my class.

Tiamat · December 29, 2003, 22:04

Iwould have to say my mother. She passed away 24 years ago when I was 19 but had a huge impact on my life. She had this amazing ability to draw the entire family to our home for all the holidays and family times of year like birthday's etc. She was the glue that bound our family together even when we were seperated by distance and time. She always made home a happy place to be and always brought joy and happiness through her actions and especially her cooking. I think that's what always drew the family close, good food and lot's of love.

Also my husband who has taught me and is still teaching me about life and what it means to be human.

orange · December 29, 2003, 22:10

My mom, no contest

KrazyHorse · December 29, 2003, 23:59

Isaac Newton

self biased · December 30, 2003, 01:05

own goal.

Sprayber · December 30, 2003, 02:50

Quote:

Originally posted by Shogun Gunner
Sprayber,

That is incredible touching. You handle the most difficult challenge in life with grace and wisdom. Rebecca must have been a wonderful woman.

I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

For a long time afterwards I had neither grace or wisdom. Spent almost a month in Germany trying to hold myself together while I did my duty. When I got back and my obligation to the guard was satisfied, I broke. I did my time at rock bottom trying dig myself deeper all along pushing my friends and family away. Some of those bridges are still burned. Some have been repaired. But somewhere between there and here, I grew and gained a little humility. And Rebecca was an amazing women to be sure. I'm only sorry that she died before she realized that for herself.