So, how's your TV programme?

Stefan Härtel · January 7, 2004, 15:50

I don't want to whine, but I've recently noticed (once again) that the German TV, in it's entirety, sucks.
Of course, there are good things about German TV. For example, the original Star Trek episodes are being broadcasted at a time when I can actually watch them (

). I could even watch South Park every day, if I wanted to.
But to give counterweight to these highlights, there is a huge array of things which vary from a simple nuisance to an outright insult. Here's my top selection of things that have recently bothered or enraged me:

1.) La canale de culture Franco-Allemand (i.e. the Franco-German cultural channel, Arte), has recently broadcasted Pink Floyd's Pulse video. Great thing! Of course they had to cut it (castrated it to 60 min) and excluded Comfortably Numb from the encores. To make it clear, they have simply cut the band's best performance ever. I used to think good things of Arte, for they have broadcasted Monty Python stuff in original English (subtitled, but what the hell). But this is simply ridiculous. And it's not just my opinion. Everybody I know who knows Pink Floyd agrees with me that this is their best moment.

2.) I know there is a delay to American TV shows. They need time to buy them, dub them and get everything else organized. But if "new" episodes from a show, broadcasted here for the first time in 2002, deal with the Y2K bug or people being two years behind in 2000, one starts to ask oneself questions.

3.) Daily broadcasts of American serials (intended to be weekly) like The Simpsons may seem like heaven. Until they're celebrating X-Mas for the fourth time this year. I believe I've seen the first South Park X-Mas episode more than any other one, but only once at X-Mas time.

4.) There is not one single good German TV show. There used to be some, but either they became bad after the second season, or they were stopped. Most German-made TV shows are either extremely bad, or they are copied from British or American originals.

5.) There is no decent Music channel. MTV used to have British shows, and English used to be the first language. They used to bring hours of videos. Now, music videos are reduced to an hour a day or so, and the programme is moderated by some sinister German youths. And as for music, forget it. No metal, no hard rock, only a Metallica event after they released their new album. As for the other big music channel, VIVA, there is hardly any music there either. They do have half an hour of metal clips somewhere at nighttime, but there, they only present the biggest commercial acts such as Manowar or Iron Maiden (Maiden is allright with me, I'm a big fan, but so far all I've seen of them there was a cut from their recent Dortmund concert). How are the smaller, yet better, metal acts, who are stuck in the underground and want to get out, ever supposed to achieve their goals?

6.) One could ask me why I watch TV at all then. Well, I watch very little TV, actually, but "highlight" shows, such as Casting Shows (which don't have a German name, they're actually called "Casting Shows"), Reality-Soaps etc. are even being discussed in school lessons with my teachers. Hello? This is my graduation year. I want to be prepared for my exams, not talk about how this so-called "Superstar" talks about their first sexual contacts!

So, how's your TV programme? The same frustrations? Is it better? Is it worse?

Flip McWho · January 7, 2004, 16:20

Don't worry. TV in NZ is just as bad if not worse. Hell the only program on TV I actually watch is Stargate SG-1. Nothing else is really worth turning it on for.

Your number 2 would be annoying.

Have you ever watched a NZ made TV program? Goddamn. Worst thing you'll ever have to sit through. If you want a prelude to hell just watch an episode of Shortland Street.

yaroslav · January 7, 2004, 17:04

Quote:

Originally posted by Stefan Härtel
I don't want to whine, but I've recently noticed (once again) that the German TV, in it's entirety, sucks.

So does the Spanish TV.

Quote:

Of course, there are good things about German TV. For example, the original Star Trek episodes are being broadcasted at a time when I can actually watch them (

). I could even watch South Park every day, if I wanted to.

Star Trek is not broadcasted in Spain... The last serie (those than is before (in the "fictious" time) than the original series) and the Vogayer haven't been broadcasted in Spain - ever

And South Park was broadcasted very late in the night

Quote:

But to give counterweight to these highlights, there is a huge array of things which vary from a simple nuisance to an outright insult. Here's my top selection of things that have recently bothered or enraged me:

Well, at least you've highlights

Quote:

1.) La canale de culture Franco-Allemand (i.e. the Franco-German cultural channel, Arte), has recently broadcasted Pink Floyd's Pulse video. Great thing! Of course they had to cut it (castrated it to 60 min) and excluded Comfortably Numb from the encores. To make it clear, they have simply cut the band's best performance ever. I used to think good things of Arte, for they have broadcasted Monty Python stuff in original English (subtitled, but what the hell). But this is simply ridiculous. And it's not just my opinion. Everybody I know who knows Pink Floyd agrees with me that this is their best moment.

I can understand your outrage, but I only get Arte via the Astra (do you recieve it by satelitte or in other way?). Arte is very good. In Spain we've "La 2" that is similar, but not only culture-related (so it has thing like sit-coms)

Quote:

2.) I know there is a delay to American TV shows. They need time to buy them, dub them and get everything else organized. But if "new" episodes from a show, broadcasted here for the first time in 2002, deal with the Y2K bug or people being two years behind in 2000, one starts to ask oneself questions.

As I told you there are shows that are never broadcasted in Spain (or at very strange hours!)

Quote:

3.) Daily broadcasts of American serials (intended to be weekly) like The Simpsons may seem like heaven. Until they're celebrating X-Mas for the fourth time this year. I believe I've seen the first South Park X-Mas episode more than any other one, but only once at X-Mas time.

I'm a very huge Simpson fan (I've bought lately the 3 first special DVD collection), but they show 2 episodes of the Simpson EACH day, breaking and cutting them in very strange ways

Quote:

4.) There is not one single good German TV show. There used to be some, but either they became bad after the second season, or they were stopped. Most German-made TV shows are either extremely bad, or they are copied from British or American originals.

Well, maybe here we "win", becuase there are a decent number of high-quality Spanish show. I don't watch too much TV, but "Cuentame" is a very good show, for instance.

Quote:

5.) There is no decent Music channel. MTV used to have British shows, and English used to be the first language. They used to bring hours of videos. Now, music videos are reduced to an hour a day or so, and the programme is moderated by some sinister German youths. And as for music, forget it. No metal, no hard rock, only a Metallica event after they released their new album. As for the other big music channel, VIVA, there is hardly any music there either. They do have half an hour of metal clips somewhere at nighttime, but there, they only present the biggest commercial acts such as Manowar or Iron Maiden (Maiden is allright with me, I'm a big fan, but so far all I've seen of them there was a cut from their recent Dortmund concert). How are the smaller, yet better, metal acts, who are stuck in the underground and want to get out, ever supposed to achieve their goals?

Image how worse it's in Spain that my sister watch your VIVA channel via satellite, even when she doesn't understand a single word of german.

Quote:

6.) One could ask me why I watch TV at all then. Well, I watch very little TV, actually, but "highlight" shows, such as Casting Shows (which don't have a German name, they're actually called "Casting Shows"), Reality-Soaps etc. are even being discussed in school lessons with my teachers. Hello? This is my graduation year. I want to be prepared for my exams, not talk about how this so-called "Superstar" talks about their first sexual contacts!

I graduated 6 month ago, so I can't tell you about the high schools in Spain, but the things could be quite similar. And nowadays I only watch regulary the Simpsons, the news and some movies (via satellite so I can get them in Original Version with subtitltes)

Starchild · January 7, 2004, 17:21

British TV isn't too bad, all things considered. The Anglolanguage Sphere thing means we can get American TV shows without needing to dub them. This unfortunately also means we can pick up cheap Australian soap operas like the strangely addictive Neighbours....

The tradition of public broadcasting is still strong and, thanks to its mandate, the BBC rates as above average in my book. Someone ages ago said that when the BBC is crap, it's still pretty decent and when it's good, it's unmatchable. Channel 4 is great for shows no one else will touch.

Only 5 basic channels though and you do pay £110 a year to get them. Thank you TV license fee.

It's much better on UK satellite and cable TV. Sky1, being part of the evil Fox empire, manages to get American shows within 18 months or less of initial broadcast. That means we only get the shows that are good enough to last for two series and none of the short lived crap (when I last watched American TV, I saw something called "That 80's show." WTF?) You're spoiled for choice in terms of niche programming and music anyway.

The adverts go on forever though. They're arranged in large blocs so you literally have enough time to make a cup of tea, get a snack, go to the toilet, jog around the block, and do some shopping. Except on the BBC where there are no adverts except the ones saying what is coming next on the BBC.

Still, an hour of Simpsons everyday cannot be beat.

Asher · January 7, 2004, 17:24

The Simpsons is on a good 4-5 hours every day here across various channels consecutively

Monk · January 7, 2004, 22:06

All there's left at this time of night is Sous le Soleil. There's a TV show that just seems to drain the life out of you. It's quite a feat if you sit through five minutes.

VJ · January 7, 2004, 22:43

Quote:

So does the Spanish TV.

Ya, during my holiday in there I saw some of it... horrendous, if you ask me.

I'd like to join your whining party, but unfortunately I don't know much about the state of the Finnish TV-channels, since there isn't a television in my apartment. Haven't watched TV for about a year now, which isn't a bad thing at all from my perspective.

Tiamat · January 7, 2004, 23:40

See and I crave the British Comedies. I love Are You Being Served, Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Apperances etc.......I jones for those twice a week since we get public TV. But I am horribly sick of the reality show hell we've been plunged into.

VJ · January 8, 2004, 00:02

Quote:

Keeping Up Apperances

"It's Bukée!"

Flip McWho · January 8, 2004, 00:21

Adagio · January 8, 2004, 09:59

I rarely watch TV... VHS and DVD is almost the only thing I watch... though sometimes me and a couple of friends orders Pizza at 7 PM... just in time for 1 hour Simpsons (Happens every 2 weeks or so

)

laurentius · January 8, 2004, 10:09

Sous le soileil rocks! Big Time! I love it! I love how the women never wear bras in it! Nipples!

anyway, i guess we are lucky to see conan o'brian episodes 6 days after they were originaly broadcasted in the US

Monk · January 8, 2004, 10:49

Sous le Soleil rocks? YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE SERIOUS.

General Ludd · January 8, 2004, 11:08

Farscape is the only television show worth watching.

Everything else is horrible, to varying degrees.

laurentius · January 8, 2004, 13:51

Quote:

Originally posted by Monk
Sous le Soleil rocks? YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE SERIOUS.

BUT I AM!
I'm totally hooked on the series, I have its theme song as my opening theme in windows, I'm totally depressed for missing episodes, searching amazon for its DVD and all...

Am I becoming gay...or just francophilia?

Monk · January 8, 2004, 13:54

Quote:

Originally posted by laurentius

BUT I AM!
I'm totally hooked on the series, I have its theme song as my opening theme in windows, I'm totally depressed for missing episodes, searching amazon for its DVD and all...

I'm a becoming gay...or just francophilia?

Heh heh, good one Laurentius, I almost fell for it...

Soooooous... lesolæææææi!

lord of the mark · January 8, 2004, 13:59

all you furriners so desperate for American TV - which is largely crap

Face it TV is generally a vast wasteland, like the man said.

Whats worth watching
1. The news sometimes. McNeil Lehrer is OK. Dan Rather is fun when hes making faces. And for news with entertainment value theres Fox and BBC nightly news on a local university channel.
2. Football - American Football, of course
3. The occasional Ken Burns special on PBS. Sometimes a good Nova special.

The rest is mainly junk - we send it to y'all as part of our conspiracy to drain your minds and take over the world (but to show we dont want hegemony we're draining our own minds at the same time)

laurentius · January 8, 2004, 14:09

French riviera, St.Tropez, french spoken by the beutiful women alone gives me the chills particularly by the american actress

*starts listening to the theme song*
"sooooous le soleil
et marine bleu..."

Yeah im serious, god help me

Maybe its because this cute french co-worker I share my room with. Tho I decided 4 years ago to live in France if possible, intrestingly thats when they started to air the episodes here in Finland

Just how could you resist these girls?

Monk · January 8, 2004, 14:17

****, you really are serious about this.

Laurentius, if you're on interesting medication, please stop. If you're not on interesting medication, please begin.

laurentius · January 8, 2004, 14:23

Still convinced about the meds after my edit for reasons?

GePap · January 8, 2004, 14:24

IN the US broadcast, PBS stations are the highest quality overall, though I don't care to watch plays or concerts on TV so on several nights so some nights are not good for me.

INterestingly enough, Latin American TV does OK for itself, specially in Soaps, wich get exported.

Monk · January 8, 2004, 22:13

I'm positive. Sure the girly girlies of that show are nice and all, but until they jump out of the TV screen, assume their regular size, strip naked and start doing my university assignment, I'll remain convinced that Sous le Soleil is just about the most obnoxious show that has ever reached TV. I'm still counting on some Frenchmen to enter the thread and agree with me.

Spiffor · January 8, 2004, 22:24

Sorry Monk, I can't agree with you.
I believe I had the opportunity to watch Sous le Soleil for about 20 seconds, before the urge to change channels overruled what sociological curiosity I could have. Now, it could have been any other crap series, I have trouble to know which is which

St Leo · January 9, 2004, 20:38

Marx: TV is the opiate fo the masses.

Nietzsche: TV is dead.