George W Bush State of the Union DRINKING GAME!

Sava · January 20, 2004, 15:15

Quote:

THE GEORGE W BUSH STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS DRINKING GAME.

WHAT YOU NEED:
* A group of four taxpayers: including 1 white guy wearing a suit, 2
wearing normal clothes and 1 in semi- shabby clothes.
* A shot glass per person (all bought in a second hand store)
* 100 tiny toothpicks with American flags wrapped around them.
* A slab of soft French cheese, ie: brie.
* A large stash of beer. The one in the ragged clothing gets the
cheapest crap you can find, like Milwaukee's Best; the white guy in the
suit gets to drink whatever import he wants; and the other two pick between
Bud and Miller Lite.

Rules of the Game:
1. Whenever George W mentions the liberation of the freedom loving Iraqi
people, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to drink
four shots of beer.
2. Whenever George W uses the words: "God," "America" or "jobs," drink a
shot of beer.
3. Whenever George W mispronounces the word "terrorism" the last person to
knock on wood drinks two shots of beer.
4. Whenever George W mentions the phrase "sanctity of marriage," take a
shot of beer. The first time this happens, the last person to finish has to
drink two more shots of beer and do the dishes during the Democratic
Response.
5. Whenever the speech is interrupted by applause, the last person to stick
one of the American flag toothpicks into the soft French cheese from a
distance of two feet drinks two shots of beer. The white guy in the suit
gets an extra chance each round.
6. Whenever George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking
shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his
shoulders shake with silent laughter.
7. If the Vice President **** Cheney or First Lady Laura Bush are caught on
camera not paying attention and talking to somebody else while Puppet- Boy
is still speaking, drink a whole beer.
8. If George W Bush mentions Halliburton, his inability to find the Weapons
of Mass Destruction or Osama bin Laden, the white guy in the suit has to
drink a shot of everybody else's beer out of their shot glass, and they get
to wipe their glass clean on his jacket.
9. If George W Bush attempts to make a joke, anybody who laughs drinks
three shots of beer.
10. Whenever George W Bush quotes the Bible or uses the word "evildoers" in
a sentence, the last person to fall to their knees drinks two shots of
beer. If he pulls a quote from the Bible about "evildoers," the last person
to get prostrate, drinks an entire beer.

EXTRAS:
1. The white guy in the suit gets to kick the person wearing the shabby
clothes if George W uses a heartfelt story of an individual's grace and or
courage under pressure to illustrate a point. He gets 15 seconds to kick
everybody if that person is in the audience sitting next to an astronaut.
2. Everybody gets to kick the crap out of the guy in the suit for 15
seconds, only if Bush's teleprompter goes out and he begins to flail about
mumbling nonsense about his days with the Texas Rangers.
Will Durst will be playing this game with his friends, although he is still
looking for a volunteer to wear the suit.

http://www.tvbarn.com/ticker/archives/018116.html

Since 24 isn't on tonight, I guess I'll be doing this.

Theben · January 20, 2004, 15:20

I'd need to wear the suit- I can't drink crappy beer.

The Mad Viking · January 20, 2004, 15:33

Pretty funny. Would actually work quite well, except brie isn't soft enough...

yavoon · January 20, 2004, 15:36

way too complicated and low on funny

tho the general idea has amusement value.

DRoseDARs · January 20, 2004, 16:56

Cute.

JohnT · January 20, 2004, 17:05

Just take a shot whenever he makes references to God or religion - you'd get pretty toasty rather quick!

DRoseDARs · January 20, 2004, 17:06

Hell, any time he smirks. Might as well leave the bottle/glass pressed to your lips.

Ming · January 20, 2004, 17:27

Great stuff sava... I hope you plan on getting REAL DRUNK tongiht

Nubclear · January 20, 2004, 17:28

Quote:

Originally posted by Ming

Great stuff sava...

Ming has become a TERRORIST!

General Ludd · January 20, 2004, 17:30

Quote:

Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar

Ming has become a TERRORIST!

'Become'? He's been terrorising us for a long time.

Ming · January 20, 2004, 17:32

Quote:

Originally posted by Osweld
'Become'? He's been terrorising us for a long time.

Your point?

Alinestra Covelia · January 20, 2004, 19:16

The funny thing is, I'm going to be in the press gallery for that speech. I got my Congressional press credentials earlier this afternoon and I'm going to be wearing black.

Agathon · January 20, 2004, 20:03

2 points.

That shoulder shaking thing is true. I can't stop watching for it since I read Al Franken's book.

I once bought some of that Milwaukee stuff. I'd have to be in a pretty desperate state to drink it again. Malty flavoured water with lighter fluid in it.

The Emperor Fabulous · January 20, 2004, 20:04

WHAT?!?! That's a PISS POOR drinking game!

Here's the REAL SotU Drinking Game

http://www.drinkinggame.us

notyoueither · January 20, 2004, 22:10

Very Canadian. I've got American network TV. Can I play?

Vlad Antlerkov · January 20, 2004, 22:36

Quote:

1. Whenever George W mentions the liberation of the freedom loving Iraqi
people, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to drink
four shots of beer.

Sava, alcohol poisioning is a very serious problem. We don't need any more of it in our society.

GePap · January 20, 2004, 22:43

Quote:

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
The funny thing is, I'm going to be in the press gallery for that speech. I got my Congressional press credentials earlier this afternoon and I'm going to be wearing black.

Wow..do tell everything you can. It should be rather interesting.

Alinestra Covelia · January 21, 2004, 00:32

Okay, I'm back.

We sat in the balcony directly above Bush. He was not in our view when he sat down. On the way in, he stopped to shake hands and at one point a little African American girl was placed in his arms for him to cuddle and agitate in a delighted fashion. Before his arrival, we saw Powell, Rumsfeld, and Ashcroft enter in that order. It was interesting to see them in the flesh. Rumsfeld's face looked more skeletal than ever. Perhaps he's a lich in disguise.

They don't allow press to carry anything other than a notepad and pen onto the balcony. I had a digital camera but they didn't permit that because I wasn't photog on my press pass. There were a few photogs on the balcony with us but understandably most of them were on the other side where they could see the Pres.

If any good photos come out showing the press gallery, I'm the one three rows above and three people to the left of the President. They probably won't...

Press members left en masse about 10 minutes from the end of his speech. At first I thought this was in response to his vomit-worthy anecdote involving a 10-year old Rhode Island girl who wrote to him asking how she can improve the country and he responded that she could start by saying "thank you" every time she saw a person wearing a uniform. Later on I realized this was because the press were getting ready to grill the Congressmen outside at Statue Hall.

Hillary Rodham Clinton was there, in blue and wearing a yellow flower - she was seated at the Senatorial Escorts section, oddly enough. There seemed to be an interesting color coding amongst the women. They wore either blue or red. Perhaps this indicated their political skew. There was one woman in green and two short plump ones in purple. Maybe they were just confused.

Bush made few errors and all were very small slips that he corrected immediately. He did claim that the job market had improved markedly during the past year, which seemed a controversial claim. I saw many people on the Dem side start to applaud and then freeze suddenly after he made that claim.

He won the most applause for his comments about the war.

I started to note down the junctures at which the representatives applauded, according to length of applause and political siding (the Dems were largely to my right, and the Reps to my left - these would be inverted for the TV viewers). At or about the fifth page (where he started talking about the 10 year old girl's letter) I lost patience and interest in the exercise.

No members of the press applauded or cheered at any stage. Score one for impartiality compounded by crashing boredom.

notyoueither · January 21, 2004, 00:41

Congrats, Ali. Sounds like you are onto a path that will be interesting.

I gave up on the rules and just started guzzling beer. It's a good game.

Theben · January 21, 2004, 01:53

You mean you were in a perfect position to drop something on him and forgot!?

Alinestra Covelia · January 21, 2004, 14:03

Well, I wondered whether I could put my press gallery seat on eBay. My sale of that seat would only be for the place and time itself, not for authorial license of any usage thereof.

Maybe takers with usernames like NOTKimJongIl and NOTBinLadenNOTEVENALITTLEBIT would be interested.

More interesting was watching the Dems. At times they applauded en masse, such as when Bush talked about education spending and other public expenditure issues. Other times, like the military and war against terror, they clapped not at all. A few times, you could see the Dems hesitating before they clapped to figure out what the party line was.

Hillary Clinton looked extremely bored throughout. And who could blame her.