Mafia XIII - Death is an Unlucky Number on Friday on the Nile

[Jamski]

Cast :

Name

Job

Status



01) Zopperoni

Butler to DoY

alive



02) HongHu

Teacher

alive


03) Spaced Cowboy

Cattle Rancher

alive


04) Rasputin

Priest

alive


05) FlameFlash

Altar Boy

alive


06) Frozzy

Unemployed Alchoholic

alive


07) Jon Miller

Librarian

alive


08) Tuberski

Vet

alive


09) MrBaggins
Tabacconist

alive


10) Ghengis Farb
Amature Landscape Painter

alive


11) GJRamsey
Author

alive


12) Theben
Butcher

alive


13) Alva
Retired Major

alive


14) Vlad Antlerkov
Postman

alive


15) CapitanGarlic
Greengrocer

alive


16) Drogue
Stable boy

alive


17) Skanky Burns
Barkeeper

alive


18) Kassiopeia
Reindeer Farmer

alive


19) Spiffor
Baker's Apprentice

alive


20) Doc
Doctor

alive


21) Rah
Tavern Owner

alive


22) MattH
Police Constable

alive


23) Chaunk
Golf Caddy

alive


24) Felch
Mechanic

alive


25) Guynemer
Fisherman

alive


26) ADG
Fisherman's brother

alive


27) Mart7x5
Carpenter

alive


28) Duke of York
Local Landowner

alive

Scene 1 - the Village of Apolytown :

The villagers of Apolytown had always lived in peace and tranquility. They seemed to be stuck somewhere just slightly in the past, and they were happy to be there too. Life in Apolytown was relaxing, the sun always shone a bit more brightly than in the next villages along the Poly valley, and the children could all play safely in the streets.

Unknown to Zopperoni this was about to change. He was preparing breakfast for his master Duke of York, which was as always reindeer bacon and a fried egg, when he heard a distant rumbling. He dismissed this as a side effect of a hard evening's drinking with Frozzy the town drunk the previous night in Skanky's Bar. Frozzy was still bitter about losing his nice safe job as the caretaker for Apolytown school, and he liked to tell anyone who would listen to him about how unfair it was. He blamed the Duke, and Zopperoni wasn't sure what to say when they were talking about his boss. He was a butler, after all.

One thing was for sure - it wasn't HongHu's fault. The young new teacher was just preparing for her first day in the classroom when she heard it - a distant noise like thunder - but the sky was clear. She shrugged and left for the school. On the way she passed by the church. Father Rasputin was repremanding FlameFlash for being late for Mass again, the old hypocrite. It wasn't unknown for the Priest to serve Sunday mass still drunk from Saturday.

Of course the reason he was drunk was because he'd been drinking with Spiffor the baker in Rah's Tavern untill late. Spiffor was always plaing jokes on the old Father, like baking chillies into the communion bread, and they'd both been in the villiage since they were children. They'd met up with the local golf caddieChaunk, another old buddie, for a few beers and stayed far too late into the night as he told them about the great game of golf he'd seen Spaced Cowboy, the local cattle rancher play against Kassi, his great farming rival.

The whole village thought Kassi was a bit odd, because he ran the only reindeer farm in the whole valley. Theben, the butcher didn't care. "Meat is meat," he always said as he chomped on one of MrBaggins cigars. He was lucky such a small village has a specialist tabacco shop. Of couse meat needs vegetables too, and CaptainGarlic, a retired naval officer ran the local greengrocers, where he often spent his time conversing with the old Major Alva about the war. Alva always thought Garlic was lying about his naval expericenes, but as a gentleman he was always too polite to say so, and he enjoyed using his superior rank to boss the Captain around in his own shop.

The rumbling noise wasn't heard inisde the village library, where Jon Millar had fallen asleep in the morning sun, his head resting on a book by local author and semi-celebrity GJRamsey, who had written the greatest fishing novel known to man.

At least that's what Guynemyer was telling to his brother ADG that morning as they went down to the river to check thier nets... and found the river bed was nearly dry.

They thought this was odd enough to mention to the Police Constable, PC MattH, who sent Rah's stable boy Drogue up the valley to investigate. On the way Drogue ran into Ghengis Farb, who was on holiday in the village, and a guest in Rah's tavern.

"Hey you, stable boy" shouted Ghengis from the top of a hill "I came to this valley to paint the landscape, not to look at an eyesore like this." He pointed up the valley.

Drogue's jaw dropped in amazement! The valley was completely blocked by a collossal landslide.

Vlad arrived on his bicycle, to take the post up the valley, and was sent straight back down to the village to get the carpenter, Mart7x5 and the mechanic Felch to see if these two practical men could clear the road.

The two arrived in Felch's truck, but starin as hard as they could, they couldn't move the stones blocking Apolytown off from the rest of the world.

It was hopeless - the village was shut off. Even the phonelines where crushed under tons of fallen rocks.

By now the whole of Apolytown was on the hill. "Don't worry" they were told by Doc the village doctor, we have enough food to keep going untill the government send a tractor.

Tuberski stroked his horse's neck. "Don't you worry either... I won't let them eat you no matter how bad it gets"
Theben snorted at hearing this and lit another cigar. Major Alva made some comment about eating horses in the war, and Drogue laughed. Noone seemed to be that worried that anything bad would happen.

Tuberski's horse stumbled over a used detonator cap as the villagers made thier way back to Apolytown. Noone noticed.


It is now night and the village sleeps. Who knows what the morning will bring?

-Jam

[Jamski]

The mafia have been informed, and I am now waiting for the first brutal murder I don't expect anything exciting will happen in Apolytown.

-Jam

[GhengisFarb™]

I am an Armature Landscape Painter? What types of landscapes have Armatures?

[Zopperoni]

Maybe it's not the landscape that has the armature, but the painter.

[Jamski]

Story and cast edited

-Jam

[Theben]

A butcher? A ****ing BUTCHER!? Oh great. I see I'm gonna last long in this game.

[Theben]

btw nice intro Jamsk.

[CapitanGarlic]

I hope Alva doesn't try and pull rank too often on me. At least I'm back to being the good 'ol Green Grocer.

[Jamski]

A butcher? A ****ing BUTCHER!?

Butcher was the first job allocated at random using a complicated system that I shall not explain, ok Anyway, I got to the last 6 as the butcher before, and got murdered as the hairdresser.

Thanks BTW

-Jam

[gjramsey]

Wahoo!! a promotion...I have always want to be a semi-celebrity. I must be a heck of a writer to come up with a fish novel with a nearly dry river!

[Jamski]

The river is normally full of fish. Its dry because the valley is blocked by the "landslide" Oh... this means that eventually the water will run over the dam, and cause a flood. I suggest the villagers are ready.

"The Fisherman's Wife", or "A Tale of Two Maggots" is a pretty good read though.

-Jam

[rah]

Good write up. Let's hope I last longer than the last game. Happy to be the innkeeper again.

[gjramsey]

okie dokie then....writing skills good....reading skills suck....

[alva]

Major Alva made some comment about eating horses in the war

During the war!!! I'm eating one right now

* England goes in shock *

Don't worry....calm down.....I'm just kidding...


I ate a horse-steack yesterday.

[Snowflake]

Ok boys and girls. First lesson today is:

Chinese Dancing!

[alva]

Originally posted by CapitanGarlic
I hope Alva doesn't try and pull rank too often on me. At least I'm back to being the good 'ol Green Grocer.

G'd god son...stand in attention when you're addressing people, yes, even for civlilians!!!!

Is this how things were done in the navy????How you were even able to find Normandy will forever remain a mystery to me!!!

Damn kids...

And for G'ds sake, clean up your store, what a mess, what a mess...

Is this how things were done in the navy????How you were even able to find Normandy will forever remain a mystery to me!!!


* tone is set *
... this should be one fun game , if I last longer then 3 turns for once,)

[MrBaggins]

I didn't know you were French, alva.

Nice write up Jamski. Obviously, I'm above suspicion... since I'm only interested in killing people s...l...o...w...l...y with my cigars.

[Jamski]

@ Alva if he can post in character through the whole thread.

-Jam

[alva]

Originally posted by MrBaggins
I didn't know you were French, alva.

Nice write up Jamski. Obviously, I'm above suspicion... since I'm only interested in killing people s...l...o...w...l...y with my cigars.

Nope, I'm not, but horse is still eating here, though quite rare.
It is less and less popular, can't even remember the last time I did personally.

It is still popular smoked and thinly sliced (cold) with a sandwich.

[alva]

Some nice touches in the story Jam

[MrBaggins]

Originally posted by alva


Nope, I'm not, but horse is still eating here, though quite rare.

Ahh... barbarians!

Everyone knows that old horses should be turned into glue.

/me eyes alva's horse

[Kassiopeia]

I know that we are famous for reindeers and all that, but it should be duly noted that I have never been norther than Kajaani

[alva]

I fail to see the diference between eating horses or lambs though

[insainly cute]

méééee..MMeeééé.....MeeeEEééé
[/]

[Felch]

I always wanted to be a mechanic. Actually, I always wanted to be a dog, but a mechanic is cool too.

[alva]

always wanted to be a mechanic. Actually, I always wanted to be a dog, but a mechanic is cool too.

-

I know that we are famous for reindeers and all that, but it should be duly noted that I have never been norther than Kajaani

Pfffff, wuss...
I mean, Santa's hut is such an incredible landmark!!!!!

[DrSpike]

/me looks at Spiffor and polishes his shovel.

[Theben]

Sweepstakes picks are Ghengis and Zop, if only b/c they posted 1st after Jamski announced the mafia had been informed.

[Zopperoni]

Hm, you'd think someone would have died then, wouldn't you? ;-)

My sweepstake picks are Drogue and Guynemer.

[Snowflake]

Flame Flash, Vlad

[Jamski]

Just as your first clue : The mafia(s?) have not yet replied

***WARNING : JAMKSI WILL GIVE YOU RED HERRINGS***

-Jam