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Old March 19, 2004, 00:01   #1
Rhothaerill
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The Traveller
It's been quite a while since the last time I have written much of anything involving fiction. I've been perusing the stories forum lately and decided to try my hand at it again. This story is something I just thought of today and is intended to encompass many parts. This first part (which is all I have finished so far) is an introduction of sorts.

Please feel free to critique, harangue, analyze and generally berate my efforts. I intend to hang out in this forum more and would like to improve my writing style.

Regards,

Rhoth
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Old March 19, 2004, 00:02   #2
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Chapter 1 – In The Presence Of Ramalon
Tarillo Duquan stared out at the endless ocean with dull, glazed eyes. A small sigh escaped his lips as he thought about his fate. Tomorrow was the day it would all come to an end. Tomorrow was the day he would die.

The wind whipped in between the bars of his small cell in the Tower of Punishment, piercing through his body. He pulled the meager remnant of his cloak closer about him to ward off the chill.

The Tower of Punishment was not designed for the comfort of its residents and Tarillo’s cell was no different. Situated on a promontory overlooking the Sea of Azurandi, the Tower of Punishment was always the first building to bear the brunt of the fury of the storms that raged in from the sea. The Wench Queen Theodora liked it that way Tarillo thought darkly. She wanted her prisoners to suffer before they died.

Tarillo pondered his plight. If only the queen hadn’t entered her chambers at the exact moment she did it would all be different. Of course the world was filled with ‘If only’s’. That was the way of the world. There would always be missed chances. Getting ahead in life was all in the way you approached those missed chances.

Just a few short weeks ago he had been Portuguese Grand Exploration Master Tarillo Duquan VII, personally commissioned by Sea Prince Henry himself. The world itself had been his playground. He had been given the tools to wander the world and charged with discovering the secrets hidden from the Royal Crown of Portugal. Along the way he would visit the nations known to the Portuguese and spend time with the people. He was to learn as much as possible of the ways of other lands during his wandering and to spread the word of the greatness of the Royal Crown. It was a grand appointment for one such as he; an accomplishment far beyond what his family had ever thought he would amount to. But even more than that, it was fun!

A chill gust of wind blew him from his reverie. It had grown dark in the cell during his musings. Tarillo gazed out the window to watch the sun set far on the horizon. The setting sun had once meant there was even more of the world to explore the next day. Another day would come and the far reaches of the horizon would eagerly await his arrival. But now the setting sun was only a curse. Nighttime was the worst part of the day for the prisoners incarcerated in the Tower of Punishment. The sun’s light no longer warmed the tower to make the chill winds of the Sea of Azurandi bearable.

Tarillo sat down on the small cluster of lice-ridden straw that served as the only adornment in the barren cell. It served as the closest thing to a bed for both he and the smaller inhabitants of the cell. The former royal explorer grimaced at the thought that at least they could leave if they want. He was stuck for another day at least, but when he left the cell he knew he wouldn’t be coming back. Slowly drifting to sleep to his discordant thoughts, Tarillo almost failed to notice the light flickering outside the barred iron door to his cell. It was late for any of the tower guards to be wandering about. Usually they only left the relative comfort of their posts during mealtimes or to escort a prisoner to his final destination.

Not believing that the guards were there for him, Tarillo listened in lethargic silence as keys jangled in the hallway. Suddenly the large cell door opened with an audible screech of iron against the stone floor. Tarillo snapped fully awake, instantly on his guard. The bright light of a lamp blazed in the doorway, partially blinding his vision, as a tall, thin man walked into the cell. Behind him, another guard shut the door quickly with another audible screech.

“You are Tarillo Duquan?” the man spoke in a slow, resonating voice.

Determined not to give the man an inch, Tarillo stood up and remained quiet while waiting for his eyes to adjust to the new light of the lamp. When they did, he studied the newcomer. Tall and thin as a matchstick, this man was the polar opposite of Tarillo’s short, stocky build. His hair was short and dark to Tarillo’s shoulder length, pale hair and his eyes conveyed the intensity of a man completely secure with his place in the world. Suddenly the man’s eyes darkened and he made a fist. Before Tarillo could even react that fist sailed in and struck him square in the jaw.

“Now then, shall we begin again?” continued the man. “I suggest you cooperate now. It will be easier for you than if I have to beat every answer out of you. You are Tarillo Duquan are you not? The ‘Grand Exploration Master’ for the backwater nation of Portugal?” he said the last with a sneer.

Through the pain of his now bloody jaw Tarillo responded, “I am. Who are you?”

“Ah, now that is better. Cooperate with me and this will progress much more smoothly.” the man almost purred. “I am Ramalon, chief inquisitor for her majesty Queen Theodora.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Tarillo replied with as much composure as he could manage.

“You do have a singular wit Mr. Duquan. I now suggest you keep that to yourself. I am here to ask you a question. You will answer me because you do not have a reason to be silent. I will however give you every reason to give me what I want.”

“The only thing I want is to be out of here.” Tarillo responded, “Can you give me that?”

“In truth I may be able to do so. If you cooperate.” Ramalon paused and then continued. “As you know, you were caught in her majesty’s private chambers. The penalty for that, set down by the great queen herself, is death. You are scheduled to be executed at the stroke of noon tomorrow. I can stay that execution if it is your wish.”

“What do you think?” Tarillo practically shouted. “Of course I don’t ‘wish’ to be executed. What do I need to do to get out of here and back on my way?”

“Patience, Mr. Duquan. We must all have patience, else we make mistakes. I do not believe you wish to make a mistake in this endeavor. Sit down now.”

Tarillo stared at him for a long moment and then sat down as he was told. Ramalon remained standing, gazing down on Tarillo with agate hard eyes.

“Good. You are cooperating nicely already. Now then, when informed of your identity and mission for the Portuguese crown, my queen was initially going to execute you not only for invading her private chamber, but for spying for the Portuguese Sea Prince as well. However in the intervening days her ire has calmed and curiosity has inflamed her. Our fair nation has not yet mounted the type of exploratory undertaking as your Portuguese Prince, and we wish to learn of your travels. You will tell me of your travels in great detail and I will inform the queen. If she is sufficiently pleased with your tale then you will be set free. If you do not wish to relate the tales of your travels then your execution will proceed as planned on the morrow.”

Tarillo snorted sarcastically, “Well when you put it that way, I guess my options are a bit limited.”

“They are limited Mr. Duquan.” Ramalon’s mouth quirked in a small smile, the first Tarillo had seen since the man entered his cell.

“Well then you’d better sit down. This may take a while…”

To be continued…
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Old March 19, 2004, 01:24   #3
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Very nice, very nice.

Good work here.
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Old March 19, 2004, 03:28   #4
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Welcome home Rhothaerill !! I say home because any one who can write as nicely as this belongs here !!

Its great to see you back to writing this is a very nice start and it feels as though there is a great adventure on its way

Looking forward to more
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Old March 19, 2004, 04:03   #5
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Very nice.Looking forward to it.
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Old March 19, 2004, 12:47   #6
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Thanks guys. I hope to have the next chapter written by the end of the weekend or the start of next week.
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Old March 26, 2004, 09:10   #7
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Thanks that is great...

Looking forward to your next chapter
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Old March 26, 2004, 12:45   #8
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Coming soon.

RL got in the way and I haven't had the time yet.
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Old March 29, 2004, 20:52   #9
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Just an update. I still haven't had much time to sit down and write out the second chapter, though I have some it written in my head already.

However, I had a bit of inspiration over the weekend. I organized a new, roleplay-encouraged PBEM over the weekend based on the Age of Discovery conquest. Some of the players include Paddy the Scot and SirOsis who both post in this forum, and two of my Vox Controli teammates Beta and Wittlich.

Now the inspiration...I'm playing as Portugal and thought it would be really interesting to tie that game in with the developing story of Tarillo Duquan. So I plan to have something of an ongoing diary in the PBEM thread, and then use some elements of the game in telling Tarillo's story.

If anyone is interested in following the PBEM too, here is the link: The Grand Passage
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Old April 2, 2004, 19:59   #10
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Goreillaforilla, your name sounds like an ancient lizard. Actually so does Torilla (or mexican food maybe).

Do you have gills?

C'mon, continue the story!
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Old April 3, 2004, 04:47   #11
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It's coming, it's coming. I swear. I've been so busy lately that the only time I've had to sit down and actually write something it's been devoted to the diary entries in the Grand Passage PBEM.

Soon, I swear.
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Old April 13, 2004, 07:54   #12
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indeed, most of us so understand what you mean

more power to you, we appreciate your work so far
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