Goob Challenge: All the Propoganda that's Fit to Print!

Goob · April 30, 1999, 15:15

What has come so far...

Goobmeister posted 04-23-99 12:27 PM ET
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Goobfest99, mayhem, murder, and Miriam taking it all off... (sorry MoSe)
Goob Challenge has begun, if you expressed interest in playing and you havenot been contacted as a player, do not despair, rather rejoice for you will be atumatically eligible for the bene4 challenge as well as Goob Challenge II - The Revenge of the Peacekeepers! "Were not the same old pansies!" says a Chaos Gun toting Pravin Lal.

The first Goob Challenge

is a blind research on, spoils on, Dierdre naked, Yang friendly, Borehole clustering blow out of a game. 2 thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert. ( Are Siskel's thumbs always up now, or is one up and one down?)

Follow along the adventures of the 6 wacky charismatic leaders as they try to tame Planet and maybe get lucky.

Goob

Aredhran posted 04-23-99 08:55 PM ET
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This is an official communiqué from the Great Oak at Gaia's Landing:
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Intelligence reports I have received recently speak of a nasty rumor running about my person, that hereby formally deny:

I DO *NOT* RUN NAKED IN THE TREES.

Any spy caught in the vicinity of my private gardens trying to prove the contrary will be mercilessly fed to my pet Mindworms, as I listen to his screams and watch his body twitch as my dear little grubs feed on his brains.

Walk with Planet
Lord Aredhran
Gaia's Stepchildren

Nell_Smith posted 04-24-99 01:45 AM ET
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UNIVERSITY OF PLANET AUTHORISED INTER-FACTION COMMUNICATION
Message Status: Decrypted
Access Level: Open
Signatory: NS, Provost
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On behalf of the venerable institution of the University of Planet, I am proud to report on our progress, and to greet you all formally. My salutations to you and your various peoples.

I am pleased to confirm that my research teams continue to achieve excellent results, at a quite phenomenal rate, considering how handicapped we are by the barren terrain and inhospitable conditions of this strange new world. There have been rumours of unrest at one or two of my bases, but I assure you all that these rumours are entirely false, and that my research personnel are fully committed to their work. The fact that I have found it necessary to recruit strong troop battalions is a mere coincidence, but one which I hope will help to defend my research programmes from any outside interference... not that the need will arise, I hope and trust.

I assume that you, my colleagues, are in agreement that the best way forward is for us to concentrate our efforts on research and the discovery of new and life-enhancing technologies. I am sure that nobody will disagree with me on this.

The highway of progress beckons and I look forward to leading you all along its path.

I remain,
Provost Nell of the University

Note to Psych Research Team : I fail to see how running through the trees, whether clothed or unclothed, would serve any useful purpose. I cannot imagine how any responsible person could be distracted from the fascinations of sub-atomic particle analysis by the rather tedious spectacle of a fellow human being disporting in this way. Interestingly, I have noticed that my male colleagues do not seem to agree with me, although no doubt they are simply attempting some form of humour at my expense. Please investigate.

cousLee posted 04-24-99 02:24 AM ET
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The Economic oppertunities on Planet are quite exciting, any "competition" will be delt with in a "calm and rational" business manner. Although I see no reason for anyone to try this, we have already set-up shops for all you needs. visit them at your convienence. Weapons are not allowed in our industrial complexes, any violation will be delt with in an approiate manner.
You credit application will be sent by special carrier very soon.

Goobmeister posted 04-26-99 11:03 AM ET
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WWWWELLLCCOOMMMMmmm Earrth CHILDrrenn... Pleasure to be....learning...you....We will be makingg friends???...Yes??
bene4 posted 04-26-99 11:08 AM ET
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SPARTAN GENERAL BROADCAST 2151
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Harsh conditions at Sparta Command have strengthened Spartan Citizens to a level beyond that ever reached by a fighting force on Earth. Research has been slowed by these same conditions.

Factions wishing assistance in protecting their interests are asked to contact the nearest off duty Spartan Troops. The Spartan Faction takes no responsibility for any injuries resulting from attempting to talk to on duty Spartan Troops. Payment through research information is acceptable.

A demonstration of Spartan strength is available.

Ever vigilant
Colonel Bene, the 4th.

Goobmeister posted 04-30-99 01:17 PM ET
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Good Evening and thank you for joining us at PBC Nightly News. We have several late breaking reports coming in.
The first concerns matters on the beaches near U.N. Headquarters where a photo shoot for Santiago's Secret Catalogue was violently ended when a Isle of the Deep off loaded a couple of mature boils. The Spartan models were able to hold off one of the boils by lauching flaming Zhakarov Cocktails from Wonder Bras lashed to fungal growth. The U.N. Peacekeeper guards appear to have been too distracted to have been of much assistance and the second mind worm over ran their positions, but retreated into the fungus instead of facing the militarily endowed Spartan Models.

The other breaking story is a comunique issued from the Gaian Ministery of the Interior, (GMI) which is as follows:

"CITIZENS RIOT AT GAIA'S LANDING. Disgrunted workers in the city refused to work the fields today. Unofficial sources close to the faction's leader, Lord Aredhran, hinted at a classified intelligence report that mentions the presence of unidentified enemy spies in the close vicinity of the Gaian
Headquarters. No official statement has been issued by the Gaian Authorities at this time."

Reports coming in from all the unidentified enemy spies in the vicinity show that they claim there are no unidentified enemy spies in the vicinity.

One reporter who tracked down an alledged enemy spy questioned the spy who responded,

- Who Me?
- Yes you.
- Couldn't be.
- Then who?

At that point the "spy" pulled out a black box and the transmission ended.

Unreliable reports point to elements of Human Hive seperatist movement, but when Chairman Yang was questioned he looked long and hard at the reporter and replied:

- Everybody here is happy.

And we could all tell he was telling the truth.

We will right back after these commercial messages from Mor-Mart.

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More to follow...

Nell_Smith · May 1, 1999, 00:56

================================================== ==================
UNIVERSITY OF PLANET CONFIDENTIAL INTERNAL COMMUNICATION
Message Status: Encrypted
Access Level: Restricted
Signatory: *not known*
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I told the Provost, I warned her, but did she listen? Stupid question, I mean, when does she ever listen? See, I told you... set up a network, I said, and you're setting up a beacon for every cursed spy on the face of Planet! Why not just invite them to a party and give them your most confidential research data as a leaving present? But did she listen? Oh no, she knew best, she knew that nobody would be so lowdown as to send in spies against us... and now look! It's on PBC Nightly News! How long before they come for us as well? I'm telling you, we're not safe, we gotta shut down the Net Node... omigod... I'm transmitting on the open channel... what was that noise? ... hello?... respond.... I'm... losing.... transmission... can't clear screen... losing...
*error*
*message terminated*
*resetting authorisation code*
*ends*

Nell_Smith · May 1, 1999, 01:18

================================================== ==================
UNIVERSITY OF PLANET AUTHORISED INTER-FACTION COMMUNICATION
Message Status: Decrypted
Access Level: Open
Signatory: NS, Provost
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Due to a regrettable resignation, a vacancy has arisen for a Senior Network Node Adminstrator at University Base.

Applicants are invited from any suitably skilled persons. Must be conversant with advanced encryption techniques and must also be able to maintain confidentiality.

Very important note: Previous applicants (and especially previous incumbents) need not apply.

Note: The UoP is NOT an equal opportunity employer. Preference will be given to applicants with an IQ rating over 160.

Applications in writing please to:
Provost Nell
University Base
University of Planet

*ends*

[This message has been edited by Nell_Smith (edited May 01, 1999).]

Goob · May 6, 1999, 17:08

Today on PBC news...
Spartan Rovers have been seen roving...
Gaian treehuggers were seen examining knot holes for squirrels...
True Believers are reportedly drinking wine from little cups and eating wafers in some sort of frenzy....
There are unconfirmed reports of Chairman Yang talking with Spartan Models about the "virtues of his particular 'social structure'"....
The university's Provost is considering augentation surgery...
Morgan Industries declares this the week of the Sweat Shop Worker and allows all underage employees to have an extra 5 mintes added to their personal time.
Finally Brother Lal has been heard asking new female residents "What is your Talent?"

Film at Eleven...

cousLee · May 6, 1999, 20:07

AYE, AnD a goOD WiNe iT Is. eRm, waS. MorGan IndUstRies, RegREts thE ShOrT ShiPMenT

FuLl CRedIt WilL BE givEn fOR Da MisSing CCasE.

[This message has been edited by cousLee (edited May 06, 1999).]

Goob · May 12, 1999, 14:46

Aredhran posted 05-12-99 12:43 PM ET
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Chiron News Network Update
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Pact of Brotherhood signed at Sunny Mesa Today !

It's on a beautiful day of MY 2158 that Gaia's Stepchildren, represented by their leader, Lord Aredhran, and the Lord's Believers High Priese, Shepherd MoSe, met at the top of the landmark known as the Sunny Mesa to sign a formal Pact of Brotherhood.

This comes as a happy conclusion to a situation that could easily have degenerated into a bloody war, as the Believers, finding themselves in extremely tight quarters, expanded by founding a new Church that ended up splitting Gaian territory in two.

The Gaian leader promptly responded by demanding the removal of this church, or it would be destroyed by his pet Mindworms. Long diplomatic talk followed, as most people know, and it ended up with the Believers promising to leave the snatched land to the hands of their previous owners, as soon as a suitable new Church site is discovered.

The two leaders had an excellent contact with each other, and both showed their good will by stepping down from their original demands, unwilling to begin a war that would be detrimental to both factions, and came to an agreement.

Lord Aredhran said "A Pact of Brotherhood between our two nations would undoubtedly strenghten us both, and thus I hope that your prayers to your Lord will enlighten you to the wisdom of my offer", to what the noble Shepherd of the Believers replied "Le vie del Signore sono infinite", meaning that he would follow the mysterious ways of his Lord.

A National Holiday was held at Gaia's Landing and other cities in Gaian territory to celebrate the event. Both leaders separated with the promise to keep up the good diplomatic relationship, and the hopes of a long-lasting friendship between the two nations.

Goobmeister posted 05-12-99 02:11 PM ET
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Scene: a lonely cross-road near the newest True Lord's Believers Cathedral/Outpost.
A Gaian Environmental Services Rover is pulled slightly of the beacon marked road. One Believer Personal Two-Wheeled Transport is propped up against an old fungal bloom, while another lies crumpled on the ground, apparently having been hit by the Gaian rover.

The driver of the Rover, a young man in the traditional Gaian purple and green jumpsuit is arguing with the two Believers who are wearing the missionaries dark pants and orange jacket.

-- "Dude, it is not my fault, you two came out of nowhere out of Fungus."

-- "Honored sir, if you had not been driving so fast you certainly would have seen us, we were clearly had the right of way."

-- "You were speeding like freakin' Peacekeepers trying to get out of the Fungus! Had you stopped at all, then nothing would have happened."

The two believers looked back to their road coming around the fungal patch, their faces pailing some what.

-- "Unlike you honorable Worm-Tamers we really don't like being near the fungus. It is not a holy place."
-- "Amen brother", the junior Believer breathed quietly.

-- "If you didn't travel in those stupid mo-peds there wouldn't be anything to worry about. Or carry one of these..." The Gaian reaches inside his Rover, the scent of some recently burned herb wafting out, and pulled out a Mark IV Burner. "These are top of the line to hold off the wild worms that won't listen to reason."

At the thought of any Worm listening to reason the two believers crossed themselves.

-- "The only thing harder than getting a bloody Mindworm to listen to reason is to get a Nature freak to listen to some..."

-- "I'll toast you right here, dude..."

-- "Quiet you two, this would be a good time to pray for our Lord's intercession and wisdom."

-- "I am not praying to your Lord, I walk with Planet..."

-- "And the Lord walks with you at the same time."

-- "Your Lord is dead and Planet is alive!"

-- "Our Lord breathes through your breath as well as mine, and when you stop breathing, the Lord will continue to breathe on."

-- "Dude, if I weren't so high right now I'd take your stupid "bike" and smash on your head."

-- "I have a question," the Junior member interjected, "when you're banging one of your tree hugging earth muffins does she yell 'OH Planet!' or 'Oh Mindworm'? Or does she not really yell at all because you can't get it up because your high?"

-- "You son of a... At least I'm not waggin' my willy at an Orange Orangutang!"

As the argument festered and heated, all three failed to hear the sensor warning of the local beacon, and the corresponding flashing light in the Gaian Rover.

Thus, as the Boil burst out of the fungus, annoyed by the petty arguments and hatred brewing among the three so close to its home, the Gaian and his trusty Mark IV Burner were not quick enough to fend off the Worm, though he was able to toast the Believers in an apparent effort to end their suffering before the worms burrowed into his brain...

PLanet

M.Y. 2108, sometime late spring.

MariOne · June 20, 1999, 14:45

^

Aredhran · June 27, 1999, 10:17

Save from oblivion !

PhatLady · June 29, 1999, 02:03

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SPARTAN GENERAL BROADCAST 2164
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The Spartan Federation mourns the loss of the ever vigilant Colonel Bene, the 4th. He served his people with distinction and honor. A monument has been erected at the Federation Command Center where his body will be on display for three days. Following the time of public mourning the body will be incinerated, as is our practice, and the urn containing our beloved colonel's ashes will be encased in the base of the monument.

PhatLady · June 29, 1999, 02:42

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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
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SPARTAN GENERL BROADCAST 2164
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A new leader has been announced by the Spartan Federation High Council. General PhatLady will be our new glorious leader. Her rise in military power and rank has been noted by many. Starting her career as a Spartan Model she became well trained in undercover work and ranked expert marksman with the latest weapons. She continued her training with the Spartan Specials where she excelled in commando training. Most recently she has been part of our forces at Zena's Landing. It is there that she was promoted from colonel to general and given the news of her selection as Spartan Leader. Her first public announcemnt as Spartan Leader is expected after the time of public mourning for Colonel Bene has concluded.

[This message has been edited by PhatLady (edited June 29, 1999).]

cousLee · June 30, 1999, 05:59

Morgan Speedy Florist has sent several arrangements to Sparta Command for their mourning services, free of charge. The Fungal Bloom arrangements were much appreciated.

Goob · June 30, 1999, 14:20

Please post all story entries in the Firaxian MP Forum IN the Goobfest thread.

Mark G you can close this thread.