The Civilization Song.

April 21, 2000, 14:44

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 'Apolyton: Play Civilization.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Civilization would be it.
The long-term benefits of Civilization have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your Civilization. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your Civilization because you only have 2 cities, a crap army, it's the year 2010 and your still discovering the alphabet.
But trust me, in 20 turns, you'll look back at your civilization and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how crap your civilization really looked.
You are not as powerful as you imagine.
The real troubles in your life is your sleeping. The kind that has you up at 4 a.m trying to work out where to build your next city.
Do one thing every day that scares you: Play Call to Power.
Nuke.
Be as reckless as possible with other civilizations.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Nuke.
Waste your time on your civilization. You're so far behind it's not funny.
The race is long and, in the end, you WILL lose the space-race.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, I'll nuke you.
Keep your old units. They're cheap and still work against tanks.
Nuke.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your civilization. You're going to lose anyway.
Get plenty of uranium.
Be kind to your cities. You'll miss them when they're nuked.
Enjoy your nukes. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Nuke, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Don't read the directions.
Do not care about civil disorders. They will only do it again.
Get to know your enemies. Or you will never know who will beat you. Be nice to your allies. You can always kill them later.
They're pain in the arse.
Change to Despotism once, but leave before it makes you hard. Change to Fundamentalism once, because its easier to kill people and still earn money.
Nuke.
Respect your Nukes.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Because allies never help you anyway.
Don't mess too much with your civilization or by the 60th turn it will look like Iraq.
Be careful with whose city you buy, most of them have nothing but a granery and city walls.
But trust me on Civilization III.
[This message has been edited by L o k i (edited April 21, 2000).]