Well, welcome to the group!
Now you know why everyone here at Apolyton is so upset with Multiplay CTP2. There is no fix that I know of - even Activision dumped the game after they released it (and got their money)
At the present, multiplay CTP2 is BROKEN. Maybe some one here will eventually figure out a modification package for it...but don't hold your breath. IMO, the problem with the constant resyncs and crashes are embedded to deep in the game to easily fix.
Sorry I couldn't be of further assistance
PS: We can hope for better support from Firaxis on their eventual release of Civilization III