July 17, 2001, 21:23
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#1
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Emperor
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A joke I overheard
One Caretaker says to another Caretaker, "Joke: directed to you. Usurpers: most annoying trait?"
The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."
The first exclaims, "Existance: they possess! Har! Har! Har!"
[Note: I may have lost something in the translation....?]
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July 17, 2001, 21:58
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#2
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Emperor
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Last edited by Wiglaf; May 25, 2004 at 10:39.
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July 18, 2001, 02:08
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#3
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Emperor
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A little worm told me- or was that 'telepathically instilled the vision in my mind before ingesting my grey matter'?
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July 18, 2001, 09:48
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#4
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Emperor
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I take it this is a joke thread?
If that's the case then just say so  
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July 18, 2001, 10:34
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#5
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Prince
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One Usurper says to another Usurper, "Joke: directed to you. Caretakers: most annoying trait?"
The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."
The first exclaims, "Existance: they possess! Har! Har! Har!"
Oh am I funny
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July 19, 2001, 00:07
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#6
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Emperor
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Funny: Maybe..
Original: Not likely..
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July 19, 2001, 01:16
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#7
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Warlord
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Would fit well in "Lal's Book of Recycling Tank Humor"
__________________
"Beauty is not in the face...Beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves" - Victor Hugo
"It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble." - Mark Twain
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July 19, 2001, 10:33
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#8
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Prince
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What do you mean my joke wasn't original? I don't see any others exactly like it! 
If someone ever compiles a bunch of SMAC jokes and publishes it as "Lal's Book of Recycling Tank Humor", I'll be the first in line.
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July 19, 2001, 10:34
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#9
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Prince
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Along with countless variations on
"A mindworm walks into a bar . . ."
"How many mindworms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"Lal, Morgan, and Yang were on a crashing needlejet with only two parachutes . . "
and "Gaian farmers' daughter" jokes.
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July 19, 2001, 11:00
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#10
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Emperor
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July 19, 2001, 11:32
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#11
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Prince
Local Time: 05:38
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Knock knock
Who's there?
Caretakers
Caretakers who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Caretakers
Caretakers who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Caretakers
Caretakers who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Caretakers?
 
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July 19, 2001, 12:09
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#12
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Emperor
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WRONG!
I meant make a joke with the caretakers talking in their language. (Existance: they possess, for example) You thought you had me beat with that .. thing!
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July 19, 2001, 16:44
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#13
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Emperor
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"Main entrance: receives double rap."
"Response: identify self?"
"Identity confirmation: Deirdre"
"Secondary indentity query: Deirdre specify?"
"Conclusion: Deirdre hear the one about the Usurpers? Har, Har, Har!"
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July 19, 2001, 17:26
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#14
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Prince
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That wasn't the caretakers talking...that was two Hive drones on lunch break (if they get one)
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July 20, 2001, 08:14
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#15
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Prince
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Along the same lines:
"Entrance: concussed twice consecutively"
"Response: identify self?"
"Identity confirmation: Yang
"Information: insufficient. Yang: specify?"
"Conclusion: Yang Usurpers: equally stupid: old Usurpers! :laughter:"
__________________
"Love the earth and sun and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown . . . reexamine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency" - Walt Whitman
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July 20, 2001, 09:52
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#16
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Emperor
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AH HAHAHA! LOL! Aha!
ah, hum.... :wipes tear:
Those Caretakers have one hellava sense a' humor, I tell ya'!
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July 20, 2001, 10:00
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#17
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Prince
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My wife: take please.
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July 20, 2001, 10:52
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#18
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Emperor
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July 20, 2001, 11:01
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#19
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Prince
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Resist: could not.
Million of 'em: I got.
(okay, I'll stop now)
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July 20, 2001, 12:10
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#20
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Prince
Local Time: 05:38
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July 20, 2001, 16:54
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#21
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Emperor
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What did Yang say to Santiago after disappointing her in the bedroom?
"But Corazon, I thought you preferred flexibility!" 
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July 20, 2001, 17:02
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#22
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Warlord
Local Time: 05:38
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--Receives Lal's Book of Recycling Tank Humor. Reads jokes. Changes title to Lal's Book of Bathroom Humor--
It's official: we have way too much time on our hands.
__________________
"Beauty is not in the face...Beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves" - Victor Hugo
"It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble." - Mark Twain
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July 20, 2001, 17:43
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#23
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Emperor
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...To which Santiago responded, Sheng-Ji, you are about to receive some serious information before your senses.  
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July 20, 2001, 19:09
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#24
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Emperor
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From a joke thread to a spam thread ... or was there a difference in the first place ...
Yeah, we definitely have too much time to spend on these forums, but hey it's a friday. Loosen up, man
I really think we'd better get a bit more substance behind these posts, it'll be locked before we know it  ... and we just started the first book of rec tank jokes...and no, it will not become a bathroom humor collection.. how could you even suggest such an awful, awful thing...
 
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July 20, 2001, 20:49
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#25
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Prince
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I don't have SMAC, but from these posts I take it the aliens have personalities, and peculiar syntactcal structures when speaking Galactic?
Ken
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July 20, 2001, 23:27
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#26
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Emperor
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There is no pan galactic civilization or language in smax. It is a first contact for both species. The very nature of oral communication for the progenitors is so different from that of humans that any translation tends to be strained.
__________________
Gaius Mucius Scaevola Sinistra
Japher: "crap, did I just post in this thread?"
"Bloody hell, Lefty.....number one in my list of persons I have no intention of annoying, ever." Bugs ****ing Bunny
From a 6th grader who readily adpated to internet culture: "Pay attention now, because your opinions suck"
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July 21, 2001, 06:11
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#27
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Prince
Local Time: 11:38
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: looking for a saviour in these dirty streets
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On a completely unrelated subject: according to the dates on the official Firaxis website, Chairman Sheng-ji Yang is now two years old.
Anyone else for finding him wherever he is and stomping on him quick? 
By the way, Zakharov is also five years old, and Morgan will be born in three years.
That's odd...I always figured Lal was older than Morgan... 
Last edited by Clear Skies; July 21, 2001 at 06:33.
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July 21, 2001, 09:04
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#28
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Beyond the Sword AI Programmer
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One Caretaker says to another Caretaker, "Joke: directed to you. Usurper: crossed road: why?"
The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."
The first exclaims, "The other side: to get to. Har Har Har."
[Note: I may have lost something in the translation....?]
another for: "Lal's book of Recycled Humor"
'tank': ommited deliberately
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July 21, 2001, 16:42
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#29
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Prince
Local Time: 11:38
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Join Date: Jul 2000
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One Caretaker says to another Caretaker, "Joke: directed to you. Usurper: crossed road: why?"
The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."
The first exclaims, "Demonstration: existence of guts. Har Har Har."
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July 21, 2001, 17:06
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#30
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Emperor
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I had better go and find out how old Miriam is Don't worry if there's a news story that a wretched Finn strangled a redheaded girl of a religious family
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