Today's Random Scenario Idea (tongue-in-cheek)

[Giant_Squid]

(Or "I've got too much time on my hands to think about this kind of stuff while I wait for Civ3 to ship, which reminds me, never, ever, ever, make the mistake of ordering from Amazon")
Well, basically I was reading about Civ3's editors, or lack thereof, and got an overpowering urge to nuke Firaxis. The only way I can think of to do this short of going to some backwater former SSR and hiring a lockpick is to make a Civ2 scenario. So, how about something like:

Civs:
Microprose
Activision
Firaxis
Consumers

Map: A map of the United States (or possibly world). The Consumers have a hundred plus cities, and each of the gaming companies have one city each.

Units: The three companies will have a smattering of units like Graphics Designers, Programmers, Executives, etc. The Consumers will have Chieftain Level Players all the way up to Deity Level Players, and perhaps a few Multiplayers and Mod Makers thrown in. The three companies will also have Advertising Execs (glorified Freight units) and Marketing Execs (some sort of super-spy type unit)

Techs: There will be two different tech trees. The Consumers will be researching different Strategies (examples would be "ICS" "Trade Formula" "Combat Formula" "Domain 3 Units", etc. These would have the effect of making it easier to build higher level players and increasing the ratio of Deities to Chieftains, etc. Advancements on the tech tree would lead to the highest level of Civ player, the Scenario Maker.
The three companies will have techs relating to building a better Civ game. Examples will be "Hit Point System", "Diplomacy", "Map Editors", "Macro Language", etc. Although they get a few new units up the tech tree (for example, the normal Graphics Designer will be made obsolete by the 3D Graphic Artist), the main advantages will be the fact that each tech nets them new gold by an events file (gold being renamed to "Hype"), and special units called Apologists which are cheap but weak and are best used for supporting Martial Law. They will also get happiness building improvements such as the Patch (Temple), the Second Patch (Coloseum), and, as a replacement for the Cathedral, the Version 1.01. All of these will have a very high shield cost.

Improvements: Aside from the three mentioned above, the three companies will have the Police Station, renamed Vague Promises, which prevents people from getting riled up. The three money improvements (Market, Bank, and Stock Exchange) will be renamed Inferior Product, Lack of Multiplayer, and Uncustomizability. The Consumers will be able to build Game Reviews, the Courthouse, which makes cities harder to bribe, as well as perhaps Fan Sites to replace libraries, universities, and labs...each fan site increases the production of strategies (Apolyton, of course, will be the SETI Program)

Gameplay: This is where everything comes together. Playing as the Game Companies, you send Advertising Execs (Freight) to all the major cities, making sure you match the product they supply to what the particular community demands. Thus, you generate a huge amount of Hype (gold). Taking advantage of this, you get your Marketing Execs (spies) to use the Hype you have generated to bribe nearby consumer cities to come over to your side. Once this is done, you distribute Inferior Products with a Lack of Multiplayer and Uncustomizability to make sure you're milking the cities for as much profitability as possible. Allaying any unhappiness generated in your campaign for conquest by making a few Patches and, if the Consumers are really revolting, a Version 1.1, you build a few Apologists to quiet dissent and go on to conquering your next city. When you meet up with other companies, outdo them by creating lots of Hype and press your advantage with Inferior Products. The object is, of course, to convert all of the Consumers to your mindless drones of your company, thus filling your coffers and preventing you from having to actually research better-game related technologies.
Playing as the Consumers, you need to quickly develop a base of Fan Sites and Reviews to resist your ability to be overwhelmed by the game companies. Researching strategies, you will guide your populace from newbies to Multiplayers and Scenario Makers who will be better able to resist the fiendish strategies of the three game companies.

This is what happens when I haven't slept in a while and am feeling cynical. Forgive my rant.

[Case]

so true

Has anyone else got some geek humor? (some funny code for example)

[hardjoy]

Absolutely priceless! -I'd love to see this sometime!

[Gothmog]

Your cynicism is well founded. Firaxis made all of these promises about mulitplayer and customization, pretended to value our opinion and did just what they wanted. And we all fell for it.

[Stefan Härtel]

You should make negotiations events-generated. Consumers and companies should be able to negotiate with each other, but add a 'Makeaggression' trigger causing the companies to break all treaties every turn.
You should also make a reviewer civilizations, or perhaps two, the one being the flattering guys lying at the feet of the companies (allied) while the other one is against the companies, but make stupid demands that nobody wants (barbarians). And make them annoying.

[ravagon]

Originally posted by Giant_Squid
Advancements on the tech tree would lead to the highest level of Civ player, the Scenario Maker.

(for example, the normal Graphics Designer will be made obsolete by the 3D Graphic Artist),

I'm about the worst possible when it comes to graphics but I know some who may take issue with this point

(gold being renamed to "Hype"), and special units called Apologists which are cheap but weak and are best used for supporting Martial Law. They will also get happiness building improvements such as the Patch (Temple), the Second Patch (Coloseum), and, as a replacement for the Cathedral, the Version 1.01. All of these will have a very high shield cost.

Oh wait. Thats all to true.

Vague Promises, which prevents people from getting riled up. The three money improvements (Market, Bank, and Stock Exchange) will be renamed Inferior Product, Lack of Multiplayer, and Uncustomizability.

Allaying any unhappiness generated in your campaign for conquest by making a few Patches and, if the Consumers are really revolting, a Version 1.1, you build a few Apologists to quiet dissent and go on to conquering your next city. When you meet up with other companies, outdo them by creating lots of Hype and press your advantage with Inferior Products. The object is, of course, to convert all of the Consumers to your mindless drones of your company, thus filling your coffers and preventing you from having to actually research better-game related technologies.

Again, would be funny if it weren't true.

You could also go for the CtP wonder which is made obsolete by either irrigation, mining or roads.

I'd post this in the civ3 forum where the Firaxians might actually see it.
Er, I mean I wouldn't. Hi MarkG!

[Edit: Stuffed up smiley]

[techumseh]

Excellent, GS, as is your latest REAL scenario.