Australia wins first ever Winter Olympics Gold medal after everyone else falls over

Alexander's Horse · February 17, 2002, 19:42

Oh yes - how sweet it is. Australian Steve Bradbury wins Australia's first ever Gold medal at the Winter Olympics. He was in the 1000m speed skate final, coming last of 5 when all 4 competitors in front of him fell over right in front of the finish line

Steve weaved his way though the bodies and coasted across the line

Asher · February 17, 2002, 19:43

I think this is the fourth thread on it.

It is very Australian though.

Alexander's Horse · February 17, 2002, 19:46

Here's a link with photos:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/0202/18/sport/sport1.html

Hilarious

Ming · February 17, 2002, 19:47

Hmmm... only the third thread on this subject... but you are right, it was pretty funny. And Apolo Anton Ohno, the American who was a big favorite but settled for the silver showed good sportsmanship after crawling over the finish line. He was quoted later saying "but that's short track"... He looks forward to his next race.

Check these two threads out.

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...4&pagenumber=1

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=42533

Lung · February 17, 2002, 19:48

Let us not forget the semi-finals when he was also coming last! Even in the quarter-finals he was coming last!!

If that's not an endorsement for never quitting, nothing is!

When interviewed on The Ice Dream last night, he openly admitted that he deliberately stayed behind and waited for the others to fall over!!

What a genius strategy

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!!! Oi! Oi!! Oi!!!!!

BTW, isn't The Ice Dream a real crack-up!

Alexander's Horse · February 17, 2002, 19:50

Oh sorry - my computer got zapped by a thunderstorm on the weekend so I've been offline.

The guy was representing Australia at his fourth Olympics and there was a bit of stink he wasn't given the honour of carrying the flag at the opening ceremony. How sweet it is.

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 19:51

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...adid=42534....

In other words, try reading up on international law next time you think something actually goes right for your country. You'd be suprised just how many wars America's let you off on...

Alexander's Horse · February 17, 2002, 19:53

Oh come one Wiglaf - he ran a tactical race

Lung · February 17, 2002, 19:54

Huh? Que???

Lung · February 17, 2002, 19:55

Er, i was referring to this one...

Quote:

Originally posted by Wiglaf
http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...adid=42534....

In other words, try reading up on international law next time you think something actually goes right for your country. You'd be suprised just how many wars America's let you off on...

WHAT THE........????

Ming · February 17, 2002, 19:55

Oh, just ignore little wiggy AH... he's just a whiner.
Thank goodness Apolo showed a lot more class than wiggy...

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 20:00

Quote:

Oh come one Wiglaf - he ran a tactical race

Articles 4, 5 and 6 of the Geneva Convention, son. For all the times you've claimed America was violating the rights of Afghan PoWs, I would've guessed that maybe - just maybe - you'd at least have read the relevant contract once or twice. Guess not.

Ming · February 17, 2002, 20:02

What the hell does that have to do with THIS little wiggy

Paul Hanson · February 17, 2002, 20:02

I bet the're quaking in their boots down in Australia. "OK kids, we just beat the Americans in speed-skating. Run for the hills!"

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 20:09

Quote:

What the hell does that have to do with THIS little wiggy

From the original thread:

Quote:

Article 4

A. Prisoners of war, in the sense of the present Convention, are persons belonging to one of the following categories, who have fallen into the power of the enemy:

1. Members of the armed forces of a Party to the conflict as well as members of militias or volunteer corps forming part of such armed forces.

2. Members of other militias and members of other volunteer corps, including those of organized resistance movements, belonging to a Party to the conflict and operating in or outside their own territory, even if this territory is occupied, provided that such militias or volunteer corps, including such organized resistance movements, fulfil the following conditions:

(a) That of being commanded by a person responsible for his subordinates;

(b) That of having a fixed distinctive sign recognizable at a distance;

(c) That of carrying arms openly;

(d) That of conducting their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war.

3. Members of regular armed forces who profess allegiance to a government or an authority not recognized by the Detaining Power.

4. Persons who accompany the armed forces without actually being members thereof, such as civilian members of military aircraft crews, war correspondents, supply contractors, members of labour units or of services responsible for the welfare of the armed forces, provided that they have received authorization from the armed forces which they accompany, who shall provide them for that purpose with an identity card similar to the annexed model.

5. Members of crews, including masters, pilots and apprentices, of the merchant marine and the crews of civil aircraft of the Parties to the conflict, who do not benefit by more favourable treatment under any other provisions of international law.

6. Inhabitants of a non-occupied territory, who on the approach of the enemy spontaneously take up arms to resist the invading forces, without having had time to form themselves into regular armed units, provided they carry arms openly and respect the laws and customs of war.

B. The following shall likewise be treated as prisoners of war under the present Convention:

1. Persons belonging, or having belonged, to the armed forces of the occupied country, if the occupying Power considers it necessary by reason of such allegiance to intern them, even though it has originally liberated them while hostilities were going on outside the territory it occupies, in particular where such persons have made an unsuccessful attempt to rejoin the armed forces to which they belong and which are engaged in combat, or where they fail to comply with a summons made to them with a view to internment.

2. The persons belonging to one of the categories enumerated in the present Article, who have been received by neutral or non-belligerent Powers on their territory and whom these Powers are required to intern under international law, without prejudice to any more favourable treatment which these Powers may choose to give and with the exception of Articles 8, 10, 15, 30, fifth paragraph, 58-67, 92, 126 and, where diplomatic relations exist between the Parties to the conflict and the neutral or non-belligerent Power concerned, those Articles concerning the Protecting Power. Where such diplomatic relations exist, the Parties to a conflict on whom these persons depend shall be allowed to perform towards them the functions of a Protecting Power as provided in the present Convention, without prejudice to the functions which these Parties normally exercise in conformity with diplomatic and consular usage and treaties.

C. This Article shall in no way affect the status of medical personnel and chaplains as provided for in Article 33 of the present Convention.

Article 5

The present Convention shall apply to the persons referred to in Article 4 from the time they fall into the power of the enemy and until their final release and repatriation.

Our skater was none of the listed above in Article 4, mingy. If he can't be held as a PoW he can't be held or fired on as a soldier. Which means he was fired upon as a citizen. Which just screams "International Terrorism! International Terrorism!"

The only part I haven't ironed out yet is whether or not an individual attack by one justifies a war on an entire country, but then again even if one terrorist had done 9/11 we'd still be after the whole of Afghanistan. So I must be right.

Ming · February 17, 2002, 20:11

Hey Piggy Wiggly... you're such a moron

Asher · February 17, 2002, 20:11

Oh come on, everyone here secretly knows Wiglaf is right.

The United States should launch an invasion of Australian for this attack on its citizens. China as well.

I also believe the US should invade Canada because of the Canadian's involvement in the pileup.

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 20:17

Quote:

Hey Piggy Wiggly... you're such a moron

Are you a mod here or am I missing something?

Apparently I can do that insecure and evasive rolleyes tactic as well. Look out, comrade mingster...

And Piggy Wiggly? Wahat the haeel?!

Chowlett · February 17, 2002, 20:18

Ok, I haven't been following this closely, but let me see if I get this right.

Wiglaf is suggesting that falling over while competing in a speed-skating competition (presumably accidentally), and thereby causing the participant for the home nation to fall over as well is to be considered an act of terrorism against the Geneva Convention, and America would be quite within its rights to declare war on whichever nation it was that fell over for this heinous act? Is that about it?

That has to be the funniest thing I've heard all week!

Paul Hanson · February 17, 2002, 20:19

OK Wiglaf, I'm a fair person, and am therefore going to give you a chance to redeem yourself. Simply answer this question:

Are you taking the piss?

Ming · February 17, 2002, 20:21

Quote:

Originally posted by Wiglaf
Are you a mod here or am I missing something?

Yeah... you are missing something... your brain.
I may be a mod, but I'm welcome to my opinion, just like you are yours. Just because I'm a mod doesn't mean I can't recognize a moron when I see one

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 20:25

Quote:

Wiglaf is suggesting that falling over while competing in a speed-skating competition (presumably accidentally), and thereby causing the participant for the home nation to fall over as well is to be considered an act of terrorism against the Geneva Convention, and America would be quite within its rights to declare war on whichever nation it was that fell over for this heinous act? Is that about it?

That's the general idea, yes.

Would you please just side with me for a second here, friend?

We're onto something huge and I can't understand why anyone would want to avoid being a part of the big discovery when it happens. Agreed?

I'm also taking applications from Mr. Glonk and Mr. Paul Hanson.

Quote:

Yeah... you are missing something... your brain.

*throws up*

Chowlett · February 17, 2002, 20:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Wiglaf
Would you please just side with me for a second here, friend?

We're onto something huge and I can't understand why anyone would want to avoid being a part of the big discovery when it happens. Agreed?

Erm, no. Although I am interested in an answer to Mr Hanson's question as well.

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 20:33

You shock me.

Anyone up for it? This has much interesting potential.

Alexander's Horse · February 17, 2002, 20:34

If there is a moral to this story its keep trying.

We've had our share of athletes tragically miss out on medals too.

Skanky Burns · February 17, 2002, 20:49

Some interesting quotes from the link AH posted before:

Quote:

The raging United States favourite, Apolo Anton Ohno, was brought down by Li Jiajun of China, in turn bringing down Canada's Mathieu Turcotte and Korea's Hyun-Soo Ahn.

Li Jiajun was later blamed for the crash and disqualified.

As if we needed proof that Wiglaf doesn't have a legal leg to stand on.

Quote:

"Whatever you do don't bloody well fall over."

Typical Aussie advice

Guynemer · February 17, 2002, 21:42

Quote:

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
If there is a moral to this story its keep trying.

The exception being trying to reason with Wiggy, of course. The biggest waste of time since the 2000 election.

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 22:33

Someone please explain, right now, why in the hell you people keep posting that odd critter in my face all the time for kicks or whatever. According to my informant over at muppets.com at least (http://www.muppets.com/profiles/beaker.htm), he "never leaves the house without medical coverage" and likes to say "Meep! Meep! Meep!" over and over again. But that's all I have right now on this "Beaker" character.

In short, I don't get it.

Quote:

We've had our share of athletes tragically miss out on medals too.

Such as...?

Alexander's Horse · February 17, 2002, 22:43

Just for starters, one of our walkers was disqualified when coming first at the entrance to the stadium at the Sydney games.

At the last winter games, our women's aerial competitor, who was world champion, fluffed a jump in qualifying and missed the final.

This year our women's aerial competitor, also world champion, injured her knee in training at the games and couldn't compete.

Our world champion cyclist in the sprints couldn't get his foot into pedal stirrup on the start line at the Sydney games and lost the race.

The list goes on. All countries have these stories.

Wiglaf · February 17, 2002, 22:47

Those are all big screwups by your country and your country alone, AH. The American yesterday was knocked to silver because of someone else. It was in no way his fault.