View Poll Results: How do you like this story?
Excellent...best I've ever read! 0 0%
Uh, pretty good.... 1 7.69%
Erm...not bad, but not exactly good either. 7 53.85%
Um, it kinda needs some work.... 2 15.38%
Quite frankly, it is really really dumb and stupid! 3 23.08%
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Old February 27, 2002, 19:22   #1
civman2000
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The History of the Arconoshvenogentai
I think this is a dumb story, as do many others, so dont bother reading it...I've stopped adding more...

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Shvago Arconishven I nervously sent the messenger to Catherine on that fateful morning. 13 hours later, the messenger returned with the news: Catherine the Great of puny Russia had declared war on Arconoshvenogenta! Hostilities had been rising ever since Arcon had pulled ahead it the science race, but this was quite unexpected! The Shvago immediately ordered that the Arcon cities begin war time production.

************************************************** **

Catherine sat on her throne in Moscow. Arconoshvenogentai were approaching the city, led by their famous archers. The defenses were strong, but would they hold? SHe had never expected Arcon to be so quickly mobilized, and her invasion army had been crushed. She could always retreat to St. Petersburg, but it too would be vulnerable to the barbaric forces coming westward. She thought about what to do for hours. Finally, when it would only be a matter of minutes before the archers attacked, she sent her order.

************************************************** **

Arconishven triumphantly entered the great Russian city, only to find that Catherine had been escorted to St. Petersburg only 2 days before. Eager to destroy the evil people, he ordered that only a light garrison be left in Moscow, to be renamed Rusarcon (Russia + Arcon). while the rest of the army, led by the general Torgivanto, would march north to St Petersburg.

************************************************** **

Torgivanto left five day later, with a large army equipped with bows and axes. The road was rough but there, and he continued for 6 days. Then he arrived at the Alps. The mountain range separated Moscow, or rather now Rusarcon, from Northern Russia and St. Petersburg. Torgivanto's men were hit hard by the bitter cold that is so uncommon in Arcon and Zularcon. They were also running out of food, and soon they started to starve. This was the shape of the army when the Russian troops arrived, led by Catherine herself.




To be continued....

PS: THis is my first try at a story, and I can already see I have a peculiar mix between a historical reconuting and a personal story!
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Old February 27, 2002, 19:30   #2
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i voted for it myself and gave it the 2nd worst rating...low selfesteem
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Old February 27, 2002, 22:00   #3
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Catherine smiled to herself. Her plan was working. The Arconoshvenogentai were unaccustomed to mountains and snow. A crushing victory now would ensure the liberation of Moscow. As she approached the Arcon camp, she consulted with her military advisor one last time. He reassured her that the enemy was unprepared, weakened by starvation, and expecting a clear road without any fighting until they reached St. Petersburg. She thanked him and walked away. Then she died.



I think I'll leave you hanging there until tomorrow!


Note: originally I had "Elizabeth" instead of "Catherine"!! Major typo!!!!!!!!
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Old February 27, 2002, 22:05   #4
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Oh, and by the way, this will be a very long story. The Russian war is just the first chapter! I'm still in the middle of the game this is based on but about 100 turns ahead of where i am in the story !!!!
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Old February 27, 2002, 23:27   #5
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The Archons from StarCraft?
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Old February 28, 2002, 13:31   #6
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no...the arconoshvenogentai (i made them up)..."Arcon" is just a much shorter name I often use....


PS: Did you vote in the poll? If so, what did you give me...
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Old February 28, 2002, 18:37   #7
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Gave you the middile one, the 'not bad, but not that good' one.

There needs a bit more detail, methinks. Like how the battles partook, the warriors rushing to the enemy, the archers firing thier bows in tune.

Interesting stuff like battles really grabs the attention of people
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Old February 28, 2002, 18:45   #8
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Gave you the middile one, the 'not bad, but not that good' one.

There needs a bit more detail, methinks. Like how the battles partook, the warriors rushing to the enemy, the archers firing thier bows in tune.

Interesting stuff like battles really grabs the attention of people
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Old February 28, 2002, 20:35   #9
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OK...I'll try to add more of that...the problem is, I played this part of the game ~100 turns ago, almost a week ago and don't remember everything!!! My goal also was to be like a historian, and have the only stuff under a microscope be the lives of the leaders...If that's just not what people like then....I'm in BIG trouble
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Old February 28, 2002, 22:25   #10
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The Battle of Zurich
Tungbodri put up his bow and began running away from the Russian camp, having just killed Catherine. He was an Arcon, of one of their greatest families: the Escargons. Throughout Arcon history, this family had been an excellent secret weapon in war: espionage was their expertise, and Tungbodri was noe exception....

************************************************** **

The Russian army was in chaos. All five of the minor generals wanted full control, and soon there was some fighting going on in the Russian camp. Ultimately, three generals working together killed the other two and their loyal forces, but it was not long before these three were fighting among themselves....

************************************************** **

The scout returned to Torgivanto with the bad news: the Russians had been waiting for them and now were only twelve miles away.

************************************************** **

Four hours later, another scout brought more news: the Russians were, for some reason, fighting among themselves and in total disorder. Although his troops were weary and he had been planning to go back to Rusarcon because of the mere presence of Russians nearby, he could not let this opportunity pass. He ordered the starving troops to continue along the road and surprise the Russians and hopefully destroy them with minimal losses.

************************************************** **

As soon as news of the Arcon advance entered their ears, the three generals put aside their quarrels and united their troops, now not in much better shape than the Arconoshvenogentai. Thus began the Battle of Zurich.

************************************************** **

Zurich was a small village in the Alps, right in the middle of the main road, which was the only one that existed back then. As both armies marched forward, it was clear the fighting would take place in this town. Both armies were weak, and despite the efforts of Torgivanto and the three generals, still quite disorganized. The "Battle" was in truth a series of deadly skirmishes in the street, which left each army with under 2000 men after just four days. Hit hard by these crippling losses, both retreated.

************************************************** **

Two days after the Battle of Zurich, the story of what actually had happened leaked out, despite all of the Shvago's efforts to conceal it. Here it is:
A Russian who had been captured trying to escape from Moscow had, after being tortured, revealed Catherine's plot to lure the Arconoshvenogentai into the mountains. Arconishven decided to play along and send Torgivanto into the treacherous mountains to trick Catherine into thinking her plan a success. At the same time, he sent Tungbodri to kill the Russian military advisor, and pretending to be the deceased advisor, kill Catherine! This had exactly the effect he had hoped for, though it was still important that he had sent Torgivanto so the army would not have time to recover and regroup or retreat....

************************************************** **

...Well, everything went as hoped except for one thing. Torgivanto, upon hearing this story, was enraged that he had been deceived and used. Promising to give back Moscow for their support, he was joined by the Russian army he had just fought, along with many Russians who had deserted thinking the war had already been lost after the fall of Moscow. The angry general, now with an army of 7000 well equipped and experienced soldiers, marched towards Moscow.
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Old March 4, 2002, 15:40   #11
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civman2000 I like the story, some people all they wont to read about is wars and battles all the time, gets old after awhile. Some people may think it is stupid I for one dont and maybe more people think your story is great and just have not said anything. I am writting a story, and I am going to finish it no matter what anyone says, all though I will use there input to improve my writting.
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Old March 4, 2002, 18:45   #12
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other people not liking it wasnt the only problem...for one thing I didnt even like it much and i was getting bored adn sick of writing it....
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Old March 5, 2002, 16:27   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by civman2000
other people not liking it wasnt the only problem...for one thing I didnt even like it much and i was getting bored adn sick of writing it....
well if that is the case then I could see why you would stop. I think that you could write pretty good stories though.
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