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Old March 5, 2002, 22:40   #1
TheDarkCavalier
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Funny/ stupid mishaps of Civ III
I would like everyone to post what they find stupid or just silly in civ III...

I'll start this by...

Irrigating a square with URANIUM and working it...
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Old March 6, 2002, 04:42   #2
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You can build Aircraft Carriers, without necessarily having previously acquired the technology for Flight.
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Old March 6, 2002, 05:20   #3
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men with spears knocking out my tank



whoops you all heard that one.

How about planes not being able to sink ships?



heard that one too I suppose

How about placing a mine on a flat field of grass?

How about not being able to irrigate hills even after electricity?

How about not being able to build cities on mountains?

How about the lack of glaciers and swamps. Do we not have swamp on earth?

why do flood plains look like desert?

Whats with the lack of energy resources? Energy should play a crucial role in the modern age.

What's with the lack of coastal city bonus'. Trade should be doubled (fixable though)

Why do my Iroquios know how to ride horses in ancient times?

Why are the Vikings absent?

Why are the English so weak?

I could go on and on

yes most of those arguments are weak. I just posted them because I know someone will dissect my post. Go ahead.
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Old March 6, 2002, 05:36   #4
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Right, here goes:

Quote:
Originally posted by Dissident

How about placing a mine on a flat field of grass?
Burrowing down?

Quote:
How about not being able to irrigate hills even after electricity?
Why would you need electricity to irrigate hills? You just make sawahs (sp?)

Quote:
How about not being able to build cities on mountains?
Never tried

Quote:
How about the lack of glaciers and swamps. Do we not have swamp on earth?
Little point in adding new graphics and code if there is no game mechanic attached. Besides limiting the number of diff. tiles keeps the game simpler, which I think was one of the goals of Civ3.

Quote:
why do flood plains look like desert?
A cunning disguise? It is odd though.

Quote:
Whats with the lack of energy resources? Energy should play a crucial role in the modern age.
What's with nuclear energy getting a bad rap. Nuc. energy is great!

Quote:
What's with the lack of coastal city bonus'. Trade should be doubled (fixable though)
Should it?

Quote:
Why do my Iroquios know how to ride horses in ancient times?
They developed it and because unlike on this Earth, on your map they have access to horses.

Quote:
Why are the Vikings absent?
They're off pillaging.

Quote:
Why are the English so weak?
Realism?

Robert
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Old March 6, 2002, 08:41   #5
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We'll have less of that Cheek Kailhun, I'll have you know that the ENGLISH empire was the greatest to EVER Rule this Earth.

As for Irrigating Hills and City's on Mountings-


What i find Crazy about Civ III - No Bananas!
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Old March 6, 2002, 09:04   #6
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I think we had this discussion before, but ROTHY what does "greatest" and "rule" mean?
...eh yes and btw. "EVER"?
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Old March 6, 2002, 09:27   #7
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I cant NOT start the SpaceShip!

Stealth Fighter are useless.
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Old March 6, 2002, 09:36   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bolleck
I cant NOT start the SpaceShip!

Stealth Fighter are useless.
Many of the later units are useless. They might be more useful on higher difficulties but I'd never live long enough to find out.
The tank's about the last useful unit there is. After that they're nice and save you time, but it's not as if you need them.
Hm, I might be a little confused as to what comes later (tech tree wise). Artillery, bomber and tank I want and use. After that it's just icing on the cake.

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Old March 6, 2002, 15:19   #9
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It takes a modern battleship up to 20 years to go around the world. While a marine can go across North American in an instant of time with the aid of railroads.

Stleath Bombers can be put on aircraft carries.

Units are magicly transpported to your captial when you give anther country a city that belongs too you, even when you still have galleys. Anther thing that happens too the city which you gave to the other country is now full with that countries nationality, the people in the city were magicly transformed into anther nationality. A new defending unit also magicly appears.

All I could come up with so far.
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Old March 6, 2002, 16:15   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dissident
How about placing a mine on a flat field of grass?
I have two things to say: first, a plain/grassland tile represents the highest ratio of that kind of land in that square. You would not expect any reasonable strech of land to be perfectly flat (except for most of Low Countries -Holland, Belgium- but that is a special case, since most of the space is landfill.

Second, there is nothing that stops you from mining on flatlands. Might I remind you that Middle Eastern oil fields, in the middle of desert, burrow down deep into the ground?

[/QUOTE]
Quote:
How about not being able to build cities on mountains?
Each of the cities in Civ represent a metropolis. Name me one in mountains.

Quote:
Whats with the lack of energy resources? Energy should play a crucial role in the modern age.
Does "coal", "oil" and "uranium" ring a bell?
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Old March 6, 2002, 16:50   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by Altuar

Each of the cities in Civ represent a metropolis. Name me one in
mountains
Denver, Colorado
Santa Fe, New Mexico
La Paz, Bolivia


Thats three.
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Old March 6, 2002, 18:26   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dienstag
You can build Aircraft Carriers, without necessarily having previously acquired the technology for Flight.
My friend called this a "weird John peeve."
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Old March 6, 2002, 21:40   #13
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More weird stuff I though of:

Wars can last hunders even thousands of years.

It takes hunders of years just to build a temple or library.

Takes hunders of years to train spearmen.

Nations who are in the Modern age still have spearmen and send them to fight Modern Armor.

A nation the size of Russia and with millions of people can get enough oil form one single source, and when this single source of oil is gone it can still use Modern Armor and bombers.

Culture is just a tally of points.

A nation has one leader who is immoratal and rules over the nation in the same way and controlls everything for 6000 years, no matter what form of government that nation has.

A leader that is created by and elitle unit can live for thousands of years.

Units in the feild dont need supplies.

Bye the way I am just playing along with the starter of this thread and I am just joking. I enjoy Civ3 alot and play it alot as well.
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Old March 6, 2002, 21:58   #14
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Much of Civ III is silly, and illogical.

I find particularly stupid suddenly finding a "new source of iron" inside the city itself. Perhaps directly under the colosseum?!
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Old March 7, 2002, 01:07   #15
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you are the immortal leader of a primitive civ that doesn't even know how to fashion clay pots, yet you can oversee everything in your empire from what appears to be a dirigible floating in the sky - and then issue commands to everyone that are instantly obeyed! either you're telepathic, or you have some kind of super megaphone.

silly, but totally essential. I can't see how you'd play this game without making that jump to omniscience.

-edit-
btw. omniscience -> all-knowing, not all science.
-end edit-
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Old March 7, 2002, 03:18   #16
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and roads can be built in 4000 b.c. this seems a bit early to me. I won't get into how a mine constructed in 4000 b.c has nearly the same capacity as a mine in 2000 a.d.
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Old March 7, 2002, 03:35   #17
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you can put 8 units on transports (I think- I haven't checked the rules ). I'm guessing 8 units represents a ton of troops. Putting 8 tank divisions on a ship? seems high to me.

nuclear submarines. me thinks firaxis doesn't know their capabilities

cruisers? they don't exist?

helicopter carriers or light carriers. what the hell? too hard to program I guess.

mines? the explosive type. yeah they would suck, but why don't we have them? including sea mines.

crime? does it not exist? what about prostitution?

coups? yeah they would be real frustrating

assasination attempts? I want people shooting at me.

asylum? more diplomatic options- although I admit I have no idea how this would work

prisoners of war? yes we need them

casualties and supply lines? maybe

migrations and emigration/immigration: sure this would be better than cultural flips

mind control: hey maybe as a future tech

communications realism? maybe wouldn't be practical in this game.

plagues: why are there none?

natural disasters: this simulated earth is just too perfect
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Old March 7, 2002, 08:34   #18
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How about that Mechanized infantry always fight inside thier APCs?

How about that tac nukes and cruise missles can travel over land without transport trucks or whatever.

How about that "americans" exist in 4000bc?

How about that the science printing press doesn't DO anything? (Like increase library sci development or whatever, considering it was one of the most important nonmilitary sciences since the creation of writing?)

How about that a leader can't attack a leader (tooth and nail?)
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Old March 7, 2002, 12:15   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dissident
you can put 8 units on transports (I think- I haven't checked the rules ). I'm guessing 8 units represents a ton of troops. Putting 8 tank divisions on a ship? seems high to me.
Who said it was only one ship?

Quote:
Originally posted by Dissident
crime? does it not exist? what about prostitution?
Corruption.

Quote:
Originally posted by Dissident
coups? yeah they would be real frustrating
What would happen with a coup? Game over? Yes, extremely annoying.

Quote:
Originally posted by Dissident
plagues: why are there none?
There are in jungles. Good idea to have them everywhere though.

Quote:
Originally posted by Dissident
natural disasters: this simulated earth is just too perfect
Agreed. No floods (even in floodplains).
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Old March 7, 2002, 12:24   #20
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Regular Chariots are completely useless as they have no combat advantage over foot soldiers. Yes, yes, I am aware of the "retreat" thing. But I still haven't downloaded the 1.17f patch, and my horseys don't always run away. I think I have 1.07f.

I disliked the chariots in Civ II as well.
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Old March 7, 2002, 12:26   #21
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Quote:
Funny/ stupid mishaps of Civ III
Over-rationnalizers that will make last-ditch attempt to prove that YES it's realistic
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Old March 7, 2002, 17:34   #22
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Pyramids in Paris
Hanging Gardens in Washington

U build a temple and whoaa ur border expands.
U build a University and whoaa a city joines in ur empire.
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Old March 7, 2002, 18:23   #23
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An figther of the WW I shutting down a stealth bomber!
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Old March 7, 2002, 18:27   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by FireDragon Thats three.
Denver, Colorado
capital of Colorado, U.S., at the western edge of the Great Plains, just east of the Rocky Mountains' Front Range

Santa Fe, New Mexico
It lies in the northern Rio Grande Valley

La Paz, Bolivia
The centre of the city lies in a deep, broad canyon formed by the La Paz, or Choqueyapu, River. The city lies at the junction of Cherry Creek and the South Platte River

Nearly all major cities are on rivers. Can you name one that isn't?
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Old March 7, 2002, 23:04   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zachriel
Nearly all major cities are on rivers. Can you name one that isn't?
Kabul, Afganistan

Many cities in Nepal (some are on small rivers like Kathmandu)
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Old March 7, 2002, 23:16   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by kailhun

Why do the Iroquois ride around in horses at the beginning of the game?

They developed it and because unlike on this Earth, on your map they have access to horses.


Robert
Weren't horses introduced into the Americas in the 1500s? Anybody remember that Far Side cartoon that spoofed that?
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Old March 7, 2002, 23:31   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jonny
Kabul, Afganistan

Many cities in Nepal (some are on small rivers like Kathmandu)

Kabul, capital and largest city of Afghanistan. It lies along the Kabul River at an elevation of about 5,900 feet (1,800 m) in the east-central part of the country. *

Cities in Nepal? Depends what you mean by major city, I suppose. Nepal's capital is Kathamandu, near the confluence of the Baghmati and Vishnumati rivers. *

Fact is, nearly all major cities were founded on rivers (except San Francisco).


* Britannica
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Old March 7, 2002, 23:34   #28
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I dont believe pheonix AZ is along a major river. Not for certain though.
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Old March 8, 2002, 00:00   #29
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Phoenix is along the Gila River, which is largely dried up. However, it is a river.

Chicago-No river.
Lexington-No river.
Birmingham-No river.
Milwaukee-No river.

Most major cities are built along rivers, yes, but not all.

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Old March 8, 2002, 00:27   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by steelehc
Phoenix is along the Gila River, which is largely dried up. However, it is a river.

Chicago-No river.
Lexington-No river.
Birmingham-No river.
Milwaukee-No river.

Most major cities are built along rivers, yes, but not all.

Steele
The Chicago River is in Chicago and the Menomonee River is in Milwaukee. The Coosa river is about 10-15 miles SE of Birmingham. The Kentucky river is about 25 miles south of Lexington and about 25 miles west of it.

However, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia is in a desert and there isn't a river for quite a long way. Riyadh population: 666,840.
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