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I need suggestions
I am planning on writing another story, though I am bad and I need suggestions so I can do better than my last story, which I know was bad because I posted it more than one month ago and it never got any replies. It is located at http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=41965
I was wondering if someone could post what was wrong with it so I can improve. Thanks
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"The first man who, having fenced off a plot of land, thought of saying, 'This is mine' and found people simple enough to believe him was the real founder of civil society. How many crimes, wars, murders, how many miseries and horrors might the human race had been spared by the one who, upon pulling up the stakes or filling in the ditch, had shouted to his fellow men: 'Beware of listening to this imposter; you are lost if you forget the fruits of the earth belong to all and that the earth belongs to no one." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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