Crazed Greek Wanderings - Page 2

ElDiablo · April 24, 2002, 11:23

I agree!
Write, write, write!!!

Metaliturtle · April 25, 2002, 07:55

You guys gotta give me some time, it's hell week for AP History and Drama, and I am in both

Metaliturtle · April 25, 2002, 22:39

Quote:

Originally posted by: civman2000
just write!

Quote:

Originally posted by: ElDiablo
Write, write, write!!!

WRITER'S BLOCK GRARGGGHH!!! GIVE ME 2 MORE IDEAS OR THIS THREAD WON'T BE CONTINUED DUE TO LACK OF AUTHOR INTEREST & IDEAZ

Sheep · April 25, 2002, 22:55

Okay how bout you indite Lincoln on war crimes, maybe something along the lines of mass murder, or 8 year old girls

WTE_OzWolf · April 26, 2002, 00:04

Turn on the English...or turn the English on the Americans?

sugar daddy · April 26, 2002, 04:05

sign a peace treaty with the yankees and crush the backstabbing english pigdogs. then culturebomb the americans from berlin. shouldnt be too difficult as the american culture is based on junkfood-chains and sitcoms.

now please continue your story

Metaliturtle · April 26, 2002, 08:04

Aight, one more chapter before this week is out

Metaliturtle · April 27, 2002, 12:35

Note: This post will be the end of CGW, I've gotta start working on CGW2 which will hopefully be much better, so I've written your guys' ideas down for that. WARNING, this ending won't be nearly as funny as my other stuff I apologize in advance, but I'm getting sick of juvenile sex jokes.
-------------------------------------------------------------

KABOOOM!! The ground in the Grecian subcontinent shook with tremendous force. The Grecian scientists had invented something terrible, they had invented the nuclear bomb.

"Commander Alexander!"

"WHAT NOW!!?" It was two a.m.

"You gotta see this! we can easily destroy our enemies with these new inventions"

"Can I impregnate them?"

"umm... no"

"put one in this bed, I need to get 'associated' with it"

"no can do sire, it's a BOMB"

"I thought it was a fembot, you suck as a messenger"

"I apologize sire, but please come now"

______________________________________
On a rather warm evening, from his lead attack chopper, Civman, Toasty, and Alexander watched as Washington was incinerated to nothing.

"Commanders!! Horrible news!!"

They all yelled in unison "WHAT NOW"

"THE ENGLISH HAVE STOLEN THE PLANS FOR THE BOMB!!!"

" GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!! "

_____________________________________
The English emmisary entered Athens with an aire of smugness, he walked up to Alexander's gigantic palace, into his throne room, and sat down on his throne.

"What does elizabeth want?"

"peace, nothing more"

"then why does she aim warheads at Greece?"

"she didn't aim them, one is here right now."

"what do you me-"

But Alexander was cut off, the messenger was only a robot with a bomb, and similar robots were now detonating throughout the entire grecian kingdom. Years later, nobody even remembered the greeks, but tales keep arising that in the polluted wilderness, patches of people calling themselves the loyal followers of Civman & Toasty are cleaning up the pollution, and constructing an empire, will it succeed? Only CGW2 will tell.

THE END

I know yall are mad at me, but CGW2 will be better, I may make an optional continuation without the bomb however, should this win the story contest

ElDiablo · April 27, 2002, 13:16

um...that was different...

civman2000 · April 28, 2002, 00:07

hmmm..."fate of the dragon" and cbraund is tough competition, this story contest will be close. However, I do agree that another ending (whether or not you win

) would be great

!

Metaliturtle · April 28, 2002, 01:30

yeah, I'm just really bored with this story now, and the further I get, the more limited I feel, I do have an alternative ending in store, pending a story contest win, (then the story will deserve one) otherwise CGWII should be better. Also read my U.N. Story about the deliciousness of pie, it's funny and based on some real life

dunk · April 29, 2002, 09:29

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, Pie.

Metaliturtle · April 29, 2002, 16:34

LOL dunk

Metaliturtle · May 3, 2002, 21:52

VANITY BUMP

trickey · May 4, 2002, 08:25

oh man that is the funnieststuff i have ever read. make sure you keep saying funny things in brackets

Metaliturtle · May 5, 2002, 22:05

Quote:

Originally posted by Metaliturtle

Quote:

yeah, I'm just really bored with this story now, and the further I get, the more limited I feel, I do have an alternative ending in store, pending a story contest win, (then the story will deserve one) otherwise CGWII should be better. Also read my U.N. Story about the deliciousness of pie, it's funny and based on some real life

From my determination, I have won the story contest, which means a silly continuation of the Wanderings.

_______________________________________________

It was two-thirty a.m. Athens time, while most Athenians were participating in orgies, as was the custom ever since the sacrafice of the trainer, Poopsie's mom, Civman was marching north to conduct battle with the newfound English enemy, when he saw something odd on the side of the road.

"what the hell? Glowing green goop?"
"GROSS it's warm!!"

Just then there was a rustling in the bushes

"I'm Sovy Kurosei, I'm here to make you die Civman, that goop you are holding is what I'm going to call radioactive."

"Radioactive? Will it play Devil went down to Georgia?"

"NO, it will play your death toll Civman!"

"You mean, For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica, right?"

"Never mind, give me that"

Sovy ate the goop, killing himself due to Civman's unsophisticated scientific mental ability, mainly due to the fact that only the russians had the use of Uranium, so Civman didn't know what it was.

_____________________________________________

Elizabeth was startled by loud booms outside, those damn new birds were back.

"Sendeth the English Archers"

"ARCHERS TAKE YOUR PLACES!"
"READY"
"FIRE!!!"

On fire, the Grecian air fleet dropped their payloads, there literally was a fire on the English Palace, Elizabeth packed up her leather and whips and set out for York, the only other English city.

She never got there....

_____________________________________________
Meanwhile, Poopsie was still stalemated in a trench outside of the fortress that was Liepzig, he had a discussion with one of his engineers, and here's what happened.

The Liepzig guard was hearing all sorts of strange noises coming from the woods just outside of the wall, Something was up. Soon, 6 men could be seen pushing a large wooden rabbit up to the main gates. Finally some of the guards came out and pushed it into the fortress.

"Great idea Engineer, now what?"

"well.. you, lancelot, and I, wait til nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, not only catching them off guard, but toothly unarmed"

"who leaps out?"

"you.. lancelot.. and.. um..... Maybe if we built a large wooden badger"

Suddenly, a most dreadful sproing was heard, and the rabbit flew out of the castle, and killed a packhorse.
______________________________________________

Lincoln was scared, his English allies had lasted only a year, who was he going to get to offset the Grecian behemoth of war?

"Sovy Kurosei the second, of the United Soviet Socialist Republic, Mr. President."

The normal diplomatic schpeal went on, and finally there was a conclusion to the talks.

"So Catherine will use nuclear weapons if I am attacked by Civman, if I give you $10,000 a year?"

"That's the long and short of it"

"Deal"

_______________________________________________

Catherine was in Alexander's office, very impressed with the virtual monopoly on culture this place had.

"Here are the plans Alexander, have fun."

_______________________________________________

Civman had just been given the order to return to Athens

"But, Alexander, I want to fight!"

"Civman, I have a more important task for you"

Suddenly intrigued, "oh really, what is it?"

"Break in my new virgins for me, I have a bomb to construct."

"SIR YES SIR" "Let's go ladies, you heard the man"

_______________________________________________
Civman's army rolled into Washington, but Civman was not there, Abe wasn't recieving Russian support, and his colonies were turning to Greece, WITHOUT A FIGHT GRR!!!

"what can we do about all of these traitors?"

"not much sire, you are the only one pledging allegience to the flag of the United States of America today. Praise the GRECIAN EMPIRE" The attendent, Chuck, drew his pistol and fired it through Abe's head, America was no more.

________________________________________________

"ALEXANDER!! GREAT NEWS!!"

"Whathafuciszzat?" He was "excercising" again.

"With our new knowledge of fusion, we can put our spaceship into outer space."

"WOOHOO, I'm gonna lay a MARTIAN!"

"Actually, NO, you are going to Alpha Centauri to begin a new colony there."

"That means breeding right?"

"yes sire"

"Then sign me up, I'm ready for some space sex!!!"

And so, the intrepid Grecians depart for yet another crazed wandering, this time to a distant galaxy, will they make it? Nobody knows.....

THE END

mattseah · May 6, 2002, 05:58

well its definately better than the first one.

civman2000 · May 6, 2002, 11:12

no it's much much worse:

Quote:

Civman's unsophisticated scientific mental ability

Metaliturtle · May 6, 2002, 16:42

Civman, I was trying to show a tech diff between Russia and greece, the russians had nuclear capabilities, and the greeks were more or less ignorant of them, therefore, civman the character, being at the peak of Greek intelligence, would not have understood the concept of radioactivity, to be anything more than activity on the radio, making his ability unsophisticated in comparison to the russians

Metaliturtle · May 11, 2002, 11:45

Aww hell, Here's my thank you page

Civman: for getting me writing good
Toasty
Sheep
everyone else who replied to this thread

I WANT PIE

PIE IS GREAT

I'D ATE PIE WHEN I WAS 8

Commander Steve · May 12, 2002, 17:37

You really gotta write another comedy Metaliturtle, I'm loving this to death.

Metaliturtle · May 12, 2002, 18:47

We'll see, i gotta get in a silly mood first

Jaybe · May 20, 2002, 18:26

Quote:

Originally posted by Metaliturtle
We'll see, i gotta get in a silly mood first

Will someone please pass Metaliturtle a joint?

Or whatever works for him.

(Sorry, I just discovered this thread. Too bad I'm at work and had to stifle my laughter!)

JB

Metaliturtle · May 20, 2002, 18:36

Metaliturtle needs another hot girlfriend, he got dumped

Space05us · June 13, 2002, 05:35

Alexander smacked his forehead, "Why the Heck didn't we expand North? Why am I expected to come up with everything?" "How come when I pork a hot chick, she turns all ugly and wants money!??

Only finished the first page! I'll read the rest tomorrow!!

gooberboob · December 23, 2002, 23:11

Hey I bumped Rottens, I better bump this one, it has yet to be beaten comedically on these forums

Centauri18 · January 7, 2003, 15:00

Not as cool as Rotten's story but it still KICKS @$$!!!

Mr. President · January 7, 2003, 19:27

"Crazed" is exactly right. Craziness is good!

Metaliturtle · April 17, 2005, 05:05

Well guys, I was rereading this as a buddy of mine and I just wrote a novella. I am extremely surprised this piece ever won the story contest.

Now, four years older than I was when I wrote this story I realize that immaturity is something to enjoy at a young age, and to move away from at an older age.

Paddy · April 17, 2005, 08:58

ahh the joys of life matey