What is the dumbest thing you've heard anybody say?

JohnT · April 25, 2002, 08:14

My wife and I were watching some show on TV that had to do with tornados (I don't recall if it was a newscast or a Discovery Channel documentary). Anyway, they were interviewing one man after his house got destroyed and, sounding as if he'd been betrayed somehow, managed to say the following:

"This thing didn't sound like no freight train I ever heard. Not once did I hear a..." he then makes a pulling motion with his right arm "choo-choo."

Lemmy · April 25, 2002, 08:23

"I'm telling you, it's the true, i saw it on TV!!"

MrWhereItsAt · April 25, 2002, 08:25

OK. This is a different sort of stupid, and it was me.

A group of us were really tired one night, and were just generally diving on and attacking those who had the couch in a room at the student hostel. During one of my many dive-in and attacks, I called out "Suicide dive!"

One of the couch-holders' girlfriends had committed suicide just two weeks beforehand. Everything suddenly went quiet.

I need a "Stupid" tattoo on my forehead.

The Viceroy · April 25, 2002, 08:31

I have to say, my grandad said the most ammusing thing ive ever heard ..

I found a word puzzel in a box of corn flakes, you know, the kind where you have tiles with letters on, and you move them about trying to get ABC,DEF,GH .. etc .. well, he's not known for his interests in puzzels , so I was suprised when he asked to look at it .. 10 minutes later, he was still stairing at it .. I wondered .. could it be he's actually trying to work it out, without just trying to get there bit by bit ...

Then he looked up and said "THERE'S ONE MISSING" ...!!!!

It has to be one of the funniest moments of my life ..

Sava · April 25, 2002, 08:40

One of my old friends from high school and I were watching TV one night. A commercial with Sally Struthers for "save the children" or some other corrupt charity came on. My friend said this:

"You know, I'm surprised at how smart some of those third world people are. Most of the little kids can speak foreign languages!"

I'm not kidding, he really said this. And he wasn't stoned/drunk.

Hoek · April 25, 2002, 08:54

There was this girl in my high school who had a tendency to not think before she spoke. She said some of the most stupid things I can ever recall. For instance, one of our teachers was saying how his wife would always have to work late since she was a corporate executive, and then this girl Lisa said "She gets home at 8?! Well then who cooks the dinner?"

Another time, in English, we were discussing whether or not you can tell the difference between a woman and man writer. Lisa at one point said,"you can tell its a woman because the diction isn't so elevated."

Sava · April 25, 2002, 08:56

When I was in 7th grade (1991 or so) I had a friend who was trying to free up hard drive space. He was browsing his HD and he said, "what's DOS? (he pronounced it dose) I don't play DOS, I'm gonna delete it". He did, and I wasn't surprised the next day when he phoned me whining about his computer not working

.

rah · April 25, 2002, 09:41

My worst one was a few years back. I saw a girl that used to work for me that I knew was pregnant. Being a personal type manager.........I saw her and asked her when the baby was due.

After a pregnant pause she looked up and said that she had had the baby 3 weeks prior. DOH

RAH

MrFun · April 25, 2002, 09:49

One of the stupidest things I have ever heard someone say:

"The Holocaust never happened."

This was from some hate monger who was interviewed by some magazine.

Bereta_Eder · April 25, 2002, 09:49

The most stupid thing is when someone has just died and the reporters ask the family members "How do you feel"?

I think this merits automatic execution (of the reporter)

orange · April 25, 2002, 09:51

In my international relations class there's this one poor dolt who is such a bleeding realist it makes me want to puke. Anyways, he consistantly says things like "Well, if Belgium tries to overrule us in the UN, we'll just invade and kill them all" and "You don't **** with the US or we'll nuke you, it's just that simple" etc. Me and my liberal friends just sit and laugh

Kropotkin · April 25, 2002, 09:54

My step brother had a period when he was pretty anti-immigrants/pseudo-racist in his adolecent. At the dinner table we had a argument about it and he shouted out:

"I'm gonna move to a country where they don't allow any immigrant!!"

After that unfortunate sentence his views started to improve

rah · April 25, 2002, 09:59

Quote:

Originally posted by Kropotkin

"I'm gonna move to a country where they don't allow any immigrant!!"

Classic

This is the winner so far.

DaShi · April 25, 2002, 10:00

Quote:

Originally posted by Kropotkin
My step brother had a period when he was pretty anti-immigrants/pseudo-racist in his adolecent. At the dinner table we had a argument about it and he shouted out:

"I'm gonna move to a country where they don't allow any immigrant!!"

After that unfortunate sentence his views started to improve

15

"If it wasn't for my horse, I'd have never gone to college."

Ming · April 25, 2002, 10:33

Some will notice a "few" posts are missing.

NOW... Let's keep this funny and NOT USE IT TO INSULT MEMBERS OF THIS SITE!

So just chill...
And don't tempt me today! So let it drop!

JohnT · April 25, 2002, 10:48

A couple of more:

asked of a Chinese TA in my stat 101 class: "How long did it take you to learn to speak American?"

Asked by my roomate, in all earnestness: "Who did we fight in the Revolutionary War?"

"What language do we speak?"

"WTF does that have to do with anything?"

Me, in response to a hot chick in her convertible at the drive through window at Wendy's, back in my high school days:

Her: "Are you working hard?"

Me: "No. Are you?"

Arrian · April 25, 2002, 10:53

When I was a kid, visiting Lake Tahoe, I had a brief - but memorable - conversation with another boy my age:

Him: where are you from?
Me: Connecticut
Him: what state is that in?

Ok, probably not THE dumbest thing ever, but people who lack the most basic geographical knowledge of their own country are one of my pet peeves.

-Arrian

Spiffor · April 25, 2002, 10:59

At a family dinner :

Me : "do you want some sauce ?"
My grandfather : "No, don't have the time"

MrBaggins · April 25, 2002, 11:03

DNA is information.

SlowwHand · April 25, 2002, 11:25

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg" is, to me, a stupid question.

DaShi · April 25, 2002, 11:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Spiffor
At a family dinner :

Me : "do you want some sauce ?"
My grandfather : "No, don't have the time"

That makes sense.

MrBaggins · April 25, 2002, 11:32

Oh yeah... the second dumbest thing I ever heard anyone say was that they were going to go 'Bison Wrestling'.

How I heard that from what I later found out to be 'Basketball Training', I'll never know.

Tiamat · April 25, 2002, 11:38

I get this one about once a week. People will call the office and ask for a specific person. It goes something like this.....

Caller: Hi, is Sue in?

Me: Yes but I'm sorry she's on the phone right now, can I take a message?

Caller: Do you know how long she's going to be talking?

Do you know how many times I've just really wanted to say WTF do I look like a mind reader to you?

Maybe next time I should tell them yes she will be on the line for 2 minutes and 25 seconds would you like to call back then?

faded glory · April 25, 2002, 14:27

"Hello is this the 1800 helpline"

"Absolutely.....ill get help ; you wait here"

*i go back to watching the super bowl

MrFun · April 25, 2002, 15:42

Another dumb statement:

"Racism, homophobia, and sexism do NOT dehumanize the targeted groups of people."

nationalist · April 25, 2002, 15:56

I went to high school with this girl named Audrey. She was very attractive, but VERY stupid. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"You mean Hitler was in World War II?"

"I'm 100% sure that Mexico is a state!"

The guys at school always used to say that Audrey was given a mouth for one reason, and that reason wasn't to talk.

Peacemaker · April 25, 2002, 16:26

Just look at my sig

MrFun · April 25, 2002, 16:29

Another dumb statement I heard:

"English is the only language spoken in the United States, so why not make it the official language?"

Imran Siddiqui · April 25, 2002, 16:35

Quote:

In my international relations class there's this one poor dolt who is such a bleeding realist it makes me want to puke. Anyways, he consistantly says things like "Well, if Belgium tries to overrule us in the UN, we'll just invade and kill them all" and "You don't **** with the US or we'll nuke you, it's just that simple" etc.

That isn't a realist, that's just dumb

--

Being President of the Association for International Relations at Rutgers, I have this one woman who is really dumb.

In our Russia debate she said, "If Russia discovers oil in Siberia then they won't need to fight in Chechnya"

In our North Korea debate: "Why don't we just make them trade?"

My g/f knows this guy in her law school. He thought Washington DC was in Delaware (Maryland anyone?), and that the Ivy League included NYU, Duke, and Stanford, but not Dartmouth, UPenn, Brown, etc.

And there was this one woman in our Causes of War class who thought Hitler and the Holocaust was WW1 and WW2 was when Israel was fighting the Arabs and the Russians came into the war (WHAT?!) and we fought the Russians... so dumb...make my brain hurt.

Immortal Wombat · April 25, 2002, 16:47

"More and more of our exports are coming from abroad" - GWB

See my sig for two more pretty dumb ones, but I didn't technically *hear* either.