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Old May 18, 2002, 02:16   #1
Sovy Kurosei
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A New Creation of Order
OOC: Included is a map of the world. The Red is the Monarchs empire, and the Blue is the new Republican Order, AKA The Rioting Cities. And please critique this story!


IC:
Panic ensued across the walls. Farmers, traders, everybody was racing across the walled in town, like little black ants. All were seeking shelter. All were trying to hide from the impending doom on the otherside of the wall. The metal cladded soldiers were racing towards the walls, or helping to herd the flock of the population into the specially prepared dugouts and caves designed specifically for this kind of attack.

The earth shaked from trampling feet, but it was not of the citizens in this town of chaos. It was from the numerous forces, racing across the plains, towards the fortified town. These malicious warriors, were brought forth from the depths of Hell, as their disfigured bodies pushed them closer to their intended target.

But in one of the towers that overlooked both sides, within the town, was prying, cold eyes, examining the situation as it unfolded. The eyes looked over the battlefield to come, twitching from looking at one place to another. The images he will be seeing are already being manifested in this mans mind.

"Commander? What should we do? The Beast forces are approaching-" said one young man, dressed in a dark grey winter overcoat. The only other occupant in the room was an older, gruffier man, bending over and viewing the deadly and defying dust bowl of soldiers racing to this small town.

Baxis, the commander of the forces of this town, didn't bother replying to the cadet that informed him. It was useless. The Beast forces, half man, half beast hybrids, were enclosing the town on nearly all sides. It will only take several minutes before the oppressing forces begin to rip the town up into shreds, to rape the women, and to enslave the children. Brutish beasts, monsters to many. There glowing red eyes, heavy breathing, deformed bodies that resemble that of oxens, or wolves. It was only a matter of time before this town will be enslaved.

"Commander..?" asked the cadet. He knew what was going to happen to the town just as much as the commander did.

The gruffy old man, with his unshaven beard covering his mouth like moss on a tree, looked at the cadet from across the room.

"Warn the King, the Beast Forces have captured Kahn..." was the last words spoken from his mouth. The cadet could only nod silently, and made his way out of the tower.

The bearded man peered down, as archers began firing their bolts at the approaching forces of doom. Arrows are useless against these Beastmens tough skin, as the arrows were simply shrugged off like waterbeads. Within seconds of the masses of decaying flesh collided against the wall, that the gate eventually fell apart. Knights tried to subdue the invading fiends, but the beasts simply swarmed the knights.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 150 Year War by Charles the 1st, created in 970 AD:

The 150 Year War, also known as the Beast War, lasted for well over a century. Many historians to this day are still confused on why the Beast Forces were pulled back, and why the Beast Kingdom collapsed. Some argue that the Beast Kingdom collapsed due to the change of social structure, where the Alpha died off, and there was no competent successor to take lead. Although, new evidence has been uncovered that could lead that the Beast Kingdom was not a kingdom, but a migrating path of monsters. This migration takes place every 200 years, and has been the only migration recorded in history. It is also been noted that the moon has some connection in making the beasts increasingly more hostile. The furthast that the Beast Kingdom has entered the kingdom was the over running of Luninburg, and the siege of Brax.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charles the 2nd simply could not digest the new information of revolts and uprisings across his country. He already had his 80 servings from the dissident reports in Clauseway, Madrid, and Nexus. A man dressed in a red tunic and pants entered the room, and sat down at the meeting table with the King and his subordinates.

"Why hasn't anybody informed me of these revolts?!" screeched the small King, in his 5' 1" figure. Charles hasn't even heard anything wrong with these fringe cities before, why did they all of sudden went into revolt?

"M'lord, it was only because the fringe cities were of no importance, compared to the rest of the empire. These revolts are minor, and the cities are complete virgins to our martial law policies. Knight divisions are being sent to calm the rioting down, at this moment," were the words from the man dressed in red, Internal Affairs Minister Abacus Rimmer.

Charles could only put on a mild frown. He didn't give the orders to send the knights to these fringe cities. Nor did he prescribe which knights to be sent to the hostile territories. But either way, the Internal Affairs Minister done what he could with the situation for now.

"Which Divisions are being sent out?"

"The 12th, 16th and 35th Knight Divisions are currently on their way to Hellenburg, Krisis and Luninburg, respectfully,"

The king, sitting on his throne, could only narrow his eyes at the minister. Those same divisions were ment to keep the population in check in Dukingburg. Now, only 2 divisions remain to protect the thrown from the evils and the conspirators in the streets.

"Next time, Sir Rimmer, you will request such orders to me, and myself alone. No other, may he be duke or noble, may be allowed to order such actions! For if it weren't that I was planning to send those exact divisions to deal with the problematic citizenry in our eastern provinces, your head would not be still attached to your feeble body right now!" said the angered King. In midspeech, the King was standing. For a short man, his planned speech and negative, cruel tone made him appear a foot larger, and 20 kilograms heavier for Sir Rimmer.

"Ye...Yes m'lord. I shall ask your permission to lead out such actions in the future. I am humbled by your mercy," was all that Abacus could say. He bowed his head, and left quietly, and quickly out of the chamber room. The guards on either side were holding their swords infront of them now. They were not before the King made his warning to his subordinate.

"To harness the labour of thousands, or millions, or perhaps even billions, is quite simple. You just simply gain kingship, or incite a revolution. The difficult part is to keep a firm grasp on your people, without choking your labourers from the air of freedom, and without letting your people run wild. Moderation is the key to economics,"- Kaskins Creed, Praetor's Guide to a Command Economy
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Old May 18, 2002, 02:34   #2
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I like the map, unfortunately I am real tired after my addition to Invasion, so I'll read it later, I'll critique it then though, so don't think you got off easy.
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Old May 18, 2002, 03:18   #3
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Yeah, critiquing my stories is good

I dunno, I think I sorta like this one. Better then my attempt at that Drakonian state I always been dreaming of.
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Old May 18, 2002, 08:50   #4
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looks pretty good...you don't like talking about humans do you?
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Old May 18, 2002, 12:36   #5
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Quote:
originally posted by Civman

looks pretty good...you don't like talking about humans do you?
Me neither, I just like having sex with them
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Old May 18, 2002, 14:02   #6
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Nope, don't like talking much about humans

The chapter was a bit rushed though...
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Old May 20, 2002, 11:23   #7
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bump
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Old May 20, 2002, 17:35   #8
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what does bump mean?
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Old May 20, 2002, 17:39   #9
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push a thread that has fallen back up to the top
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Old May 20, 2002, 18:05   #10
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To The Top (TTT) is also used on some forums sometimes.
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Old May 22, 2002, 18:05   #11
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bump
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Old January 6, 2004, 18:26   #12
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I think this story needs a massive bump...

Might just restart it too.
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Old January 6, 2004, 21:38   #13
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consider this bumped...

OK, looking forward to more of this....

Are you playing a game that relates to this story?
If so how is the game going?
Did you leave the game this long as well?
and has it been hard to continue the game?


I ask as I too left a story for some time and am interested in how others pick them back up.
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Old January 7, 2004, 00:11   #14
Sovy Kurosei
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Heeeeyyyyy... Somebody posted!

A game I played a long time ago inspired me to make this. Nasty kingdom to the west and barbarian filled expansions in the east. Bunch of those nasty brutes came down on me like an ACME anvil. Then I just conquered everything within sight.

Anyways, I got some better experience under my belt from RPing on NationStates, I think I can wing it from here on end, and somehow keep with the Civilization III fashion.

Either that, or just open up an editor and replicate a similar scenario
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Old January 9, 2004, 01:25   #15
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So are you going to write some more of this?
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Old January 9, 2004, 01:44   #16
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Yeah, I am. I'm planning too, nonetheless. Perhaps I'll post something up this weekend for you guys. Been busy as a university student, you know.
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Old January 9, 2004, 03:15   #17
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Ahhh workkkkkkkkkkkkk

yes I have heard rumours of that sort of thing

have fun, and look forward to your next installment
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