My Attempt at a Serious Story

Absolut_Zero · May 19, 2002, 09:41

Right, well this fist post won't be too long, just tell me if you like it and want me to continue, otherwise, I'll just delete it tommorrow.

It was the year 1050 BC, and Thargor the barbarian had just finished his first battle victoriously, and had now decided, that the world would fall to his will. His first target would be the German subcontinent, and from their, his might would grow considerable as he upgraded weaponry and armor, but that's where the monkey took the pickle jar.

Suddenly, a massive meteor landed upon him, crushing Thargor's body. The pain was immence, and the barbarian wasn't entirely sure he was alive, and was swiftly fading in and out of consciousness. It appeared, somewhere in his pain-filled, clouded thoughts that survival was possible. The friction spawned flames on the huge space-boulder charred his body, seering his loin-cloth to his skin. The fire alone, scorched his nerves leaving him insensate, but still, as if a cruel twist of fate, in pain.

It seemed as if a vast nothingness had opened ahead of him, a long tunnel, far away from the pain, the challenge, the struggle to stay alive, and he needed this, the barbarian could take life no longer, not that he would give up, but that he would let go, different in his troubled thoughts, different from a cowards death.

As he gave up, or rather began to let go of life, Thargor, saw a black-clad figure ahead of him in the tunnel, it seemed to becon, to call out to him, to scream to him in incomprehensible longing, this figure, at his closer inspection, was no creature, and had no body, it's head down, he could see no face, but knew that it was simply a robe, floating with the tide of his life.

When Thargor got closer, close enough to this creature, that the pain was almost entirely gone, a faint memory of the life he led before. But then, the creature looked up at him, as if to say, I am your master now, and you shall bow before me, and Thargor saw into the creature's eyes, which were spots on his invisible face that stood out from the robe, they seemed to encompass some vast darkness, some ethereal projection of an eternal abscence of light, they seemed to forecast his projection from life and he recognized what this creature was, it was an angel of death.

Thargor got closer still, so that the pain was just a dull pinprick in the vast nothingness that laid before him, but suddenly, he wanted it back. Not so much the pain, but just the life, he wanted the feeling back, he wanted, the memories, the pleasure and yes, even the pain, he wanted it all, but as he turned around to head back through the tunnel, it became vertical, and he struggled to climb up the impossibly slick slope. At last when he laid on his back and began to fall into nothingness, he noticed something, he was falling into the gigantic maw of some creature, he recognized it, as the angel. But now he knew it was no angel of death....

....It was death.

Tell me what you think. I'm open to criticism.