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Old May 20, 2002, 20:31   #1
Eyes_Of_Night
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My interview with the great stratejojo
EyesOfNight: Good evening and welcome to a special presentation of the Apolyton Interview program. Over the years I have brought you interviews with famous apolytoners such as the memorable solver. Tonight I think we can all be in agreement when I say this is by far the most interesting interview any of us have ever had the opportunity to listen to. Thanks for joining us StrateJoJo, is there anything you'd like to say to our audience?

StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHAHA!!

EyesOfNight: That's...ummmmmm....evil sounding...Anyways, lets begin. Tell us about your trade strategy and how you came about such an ingenius form of play.

StrateJoJo: I did not come about it, I used my suuuperior intellect to formulate my ingenius equations. HUWAHAHAHA!! If I may direct your attention to this screen I will show you some footage of my incredible skills at this incredibly simple game. Watch closely. There, look. There I am building a caravan. And there I am building another caravan. And another. And another. Another. And there too. Oh, and over there too. And then I put them on a ship like this. Yes, see? Yes, HUWAHAHAHA!! And then with my suuuuperior intellect I send them to a far away distant land where they shall BRING ME WEALTH BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION!! HUWAHAHAHAHA!!!! There I am putting another caravan on a ship. And there I am moving the ship. The ship is moving to the distant land. Watch closely. See, there I do it again. I am moving the ships. The ships have caravans on them. I am moving the ships with the caravans to the distant land. Look again, there I am moving the caravans into the city. The city is recieving the caravan. The city is recieving the caravan because my suuuperior intellect has brought them to the city so the city can recieve the caravan. The ships with the caravans are moving across the sea to bring the caravans to the city. HUWAHAHAHA!!! Now look, the caravans are off the ships. The ships are empty. The ships are empty and they have delivered the caravan. The ships are empty so I will now bring them home with my suuuuperior intellect! I am a genius!! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!! HUWA...

EyesOfNight: STOP!!! I GET THE ****ING POINT!!! So you put the caravans on the ship and you send them to a city and this brings you gold...this is your genius?

StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!! With my superior intellect I bring the caravans to the city by moving the ships across the sea!

EyesOfNight: Brilliant, simply brilliant. And is there anything else you do to make this strategy work?

StrateJoJo: Yes, my secret weapon. But if I tell you it won't be a secret. But if I don't tell you then you will not know of my suuuuuperior intellect! So I must tell you even if my secret will no longer be a secret because I have told you my secret! I build...the Lighthouse! HUWAHAHA!!!! *Lightning flashes in the background*

EyesOfNight: *Looks around* I see, and how do you build the lighthouse?

StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!!! With my suuuperior intellect I build the lighthouse. I build the lighthouse because it is my secret weapon. It is no longer my secret weapon because I have told you my secret so that you may know my suuuperior intellect! Now watch. See. Look closely. Ah!! There it goes again. See, the shields go into the box. Each turn my city puts shields in the box. The shields go into the box as they come ever closer to completing the lighthouse that will lead to my world domination through my secret weapon that is no longer a secret.

EyesOfNight: Amazing...

StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!!!

EyesOfNight: Now I know I for one, and I'm sure the audience is as well, am just dying to know what you think of your skills compared to the other civ2 experts. Could you in 20 words or less describe your opinion on this matter?

StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!! My suuuperior intellect is unmatched by these simple fools. I am a genius! A genius without match! I am a genius without match because there are no other geniuses! With my suuuperior intellect I will rule the world! Nothing can stop me, my caravan strategy is unstoppable. The caravans go onto the ship, the ships move across the sea to the enemy city. The caravan on the ship that has just moved across the sea then moves into the city. Then with my suuuperior intellect I move the ship back across the sea to pick up another caravan. HUWHAHAHA!!!

EyesOfNight: *I wonder if he'll notice if I get up to get something to eat..*

StrateJoJo: ...with my suuuuperior intellect...

EyesOfNight: *I can't take this much longer, either he is going to have to die or I am going to have to leave this room.*

StrateJoJo: I am a genius!!

EyesOfNight: *Ok, I'm out of here*

2 hours later

StrateJoJo: And then I move the caravans back onto the ship that has just crossed the sea after delivering it's caravan and then coming back across the sea! And I do it again!! See! There I go again! HUWAHAHAHA!! I AM A GENIUS!!!

EyesOfNight: Ok, I think that's all the time we have for today, so we'll just end the interview on that last note.

StrateJoJo: WAIT!! I have not showed you my ship chaining technique that I created with my suuuperior intellect!

EyesOfNight: Security! Take our friend JoJo here to see Solver, and make sure Solver gives JoJo a reach around.
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Old May 20, 2002, 20:56   #2
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Who said satire was dead?............... perhaps the same guy who started the saying about stones and glass houses.
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Old May 20, 2002, 20:57   #3
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must have used your superior intellect to write that.
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Old May 20, 2002, 21:53   #4
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Lol, looks like we finally know why Strate 'disconnects' every time someone beats him to lighthouse.
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Old May 20, 2002, 22:10   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by DrFell
Lol, looks like we finally know why Strate 'disconnects' every time someone beats him to lighthouse.
ROTFLMAO...

Oh... and Eyes...



However... just one small problem.

Just like last time, I have to change the name in the title to his real name. Sorry about that
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Old May 20, 2002, 23:12   #6
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Wow!!!!

Maybe Strat could interview you now about clicking around the board to determine your coastline.
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Old May 21, 2002, 00:17   #7
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That was a weak attack. Besides, strategicdick lacks the metal capacity to write anything complicated.
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Old May 21, 2002, 00:20   #8
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Why are they all coming here? Slow day at civfanatics?
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Old May 21, 2002, 00:26   #9
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Perhaps its my fault, I'm not usually around so they are keen to impress.
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Old May 21, 2002, 03:49   #10
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Ahh.... The Inteligent duke it out. Hehe so great to see loved ones playing so nicely in the fields of the minds we so feebily create. Where oh where.... is the cyber world going to....
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Old May 21, 2002, 08:28   #11
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Eyes, turning into quite the entertainer. I think the new avatar has had a positive influence. Please continue. We're always looking for entertainment here. If it gets slow here, I'm sometimes forced to go to the *GASP* CIV III forums. And we all know how torturous that is.


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Old May 21, 2002, 10:08   #12
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But I thought that his best strategy was to disconnect, already knowing that he will be the winner (even if it is well behind)!!!

I've never heard of this caravan strategy... why do one build caravans instead of warriors?
Lighthouse.... genial... it is really a secret weapon.

... still in search of the light (house)...
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Old May 21, 2002, 11:35   #13
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I have to say Eyes' interviews and more interesting then mine.
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Old May 21, 2002, 11:55   #14
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Good satire is always more interesting than real life.
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Old May 21, 2002, 12:16   #15
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Oh man, I was seriously LOL @ work. I couldn't help it. That is the most funny sh1t I have read at poly in a long time!

Quote:
The ships with the caravans are moving across the sea to bring the caravans to the city. HUWAHAHAHA!!! Now look, the caravans are off the ships. The ships are empty. The ships are empty and they have delivered the caravan. The ships are empty so I will now bring them home with my suuuuperior intellect! I am a genius!! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!! HUWA...
Great post eyes
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Old May 21, 2002, 12:44   #16
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I am offering Eyes the job of interview chief... I'm way too lazy to write satire about Apolyton, I guess . However, with my suuuuperiour intellect I could make an interview that no of you could ever understand, HUWAHAA!

Great post
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Old May 22, 2002, 06:53   #17
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ummmmmm.........funny how everyone jumps on the Eyes band wagon.........you guys remember who we are talking about right?.....Strateking and Eyes.......remember......Strat might be aggrogant but I dont' ever rember anyone calling him a cheat in a game.........and before you start eyes, I know you have changed your evil way...(yeah right!!).....but don't start playing Holyier Than Thou..........and I'm not defending Strat either....just putting it all in persective.............
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Old May 22, 2002, 08:30   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dank
just putting it all in persective.............
And just what the heck do "past" histories have to do with this We are all well aware of what has gone in the past. It doesn't change the fact that this is funny.

One might question YOUR perspective in this... (especially since you spelled it wrong )

So...
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Old May 22, 2002, 08:45   #19
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Yes, Funny is Funny, regardless of the source.

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Old May 22, 2002, 08:49   #20
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I always find Eyes funny
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Old May 22, 2002, 09:06   #21
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Quote:
(especially since you spelled it wrong )
Having seen Ming's spelling over the course of about 30 years, I just gotta say...
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Old May 22, 2002, 09:39   #22
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Having seen Ming's spelling over the course of about 30 years, I just gotta say...
I never said I could spell
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Old May 22, 2002, 12:51   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dank
ummmmmm.........funny how everyone jumps on the Eyes band wagon.........
Yeah I've noticed that lately too. I wonder why.
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Old May 22, 2002, 13:27   #24
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Yeah I've noticed that lately too. I wonder why.
I wouldn't call it jumping on the band wagon.

While I do think he gets "carried away" at times, at least he lightens up... Can be damn funny... is willing to discuss past actions openly... and joins in as a member of the community...

unlike "some" people

All of us have flaws, I won't hold his against him
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Old May 22, 2002, 14:07   #25
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I don't have any flaws, I am perfection.
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Old May 22, 2002, 14:15   #26
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Old May 22, 2002, 14:45   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by EyesOfNight
I don't have any flaws, I am perfection.


As I said...
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Old May 22, 2002, 15:14   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by EyesOfNight
I don't have any flaws, I am perfection.


(Shame you dont have the ROTF smilie )
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Old May 22, 2002, 21:26   #29
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Quote:
funny how everyone jumps on the Eyes band wagon
Quote:
Eyes, turning into quite the entertainer
i've found eyes to be highly entertaining for over 2 years
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Old May 22, 2002, 21:41   #30
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I have just been contacted by the producer of Celebrity Boxing 3, he is a civ fan himself. He booked me verse Eyes for Celebrity Boxing 3's main event.
Ahh, I can picture it now..Michael Buffets introduction.....
"Fighting out of the blue corner, standing at 6 foot 4, weighing in at 185 pounds, 8 time Game league champion, a legend in the Civ community, the undisputed master of the trade route, the one, the only, the hero to many, STRATEGICKING!!!!"
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