June 26, 2002, 11:23
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#1
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King
Local Time: 22:17
Local Date: October 31, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Even if you don't believe in Jesus he believes in you!
Posts: 3,043
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The Story
Metaliturtle returns to funny shizzle in this story.
----White House----
"MOOOOOOOOOM!!!! Where's my scooby doo underoos?!?!"
"In the drawer Mr. President."
Indeed they were, and President Abraham Lincoln donned his lucky pair of underwear for a most momentous occasion.
----Courthouse----
Lincoln walked into the courthouse surrounded by secret service guys, but he wasn't afraid, after all, he had his lucky lucky scooby doo underoos on, nothing bad could happen to him.
"will the leader of the free world place his hand on the bible?"
Lincoln answered, "I will, IF the leader of the subjugated world will as well!"
Catherine farted, "YUP" She wasn't much for words, only flatulent audulations.
After both sides were sworn in, the two parties sat on opposite ends of a table.
"Catherine, will you stop that??"
She was throwing bits o spam at a secret service agent.
"When you're as pretty as me, you don't have to stop anything, Lincoln."
"Too bad you're just an ugly ho."
"What?!!"
"You know, ho, meaning that you're like a turtle, whenever you're on your back, you get screwed...although..."
"Although WHAT!!!"
"They probably had to put a paper bag with porn on it over your face you ugly witch."
That's right, Yo momma jokes combined with insults, the first one to cry or leave would lose their half of the world, this was serious.
"Lincoln, Yo momma is so fat, when she put on a raincoat and went outside, kids yelled "DAMN, WE MISSED THE BUS!!"
"I can top that, yo momma's like a gumball machine, 25 cents a BLOW!!"
"Lincoln, Yo momma is so fat, that when she sat on a rainbow, skittles popped out."
"Catherine, you are soooo ugly, that when you were born, the doctor smacked your mother."
----To be continued pending feedback----
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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June 26, 2002, 21:45
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#2
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Warlord
Local Time: 13:17
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 178
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LOVE it. Keep it going please. Haven't heard the "we missed the bus" on before.
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June 27, 2002, 12:20
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#3
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Prince
Local Time: 23:17
Local Date: October 31, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Prince Edward Island, Canada
Posts: 740
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it sounds like a bunch of two year olds. This is politically incorrect.... its its.....funny.
good job, metaliturle.
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June 27, 2002, 13:32
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#4
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King
Local Time: 22:17
Local Date: October 31, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Even if you don't believe in Jesus he believes in you!
Posts: 3,043
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More Yo momma jokes, please remember to vote...
_____
After a short recess with their finest dissologists, they were ready for more.
"Lincoln, yo momma's so fat her belt size is equator."
"That's nothing, YO momma's like a vacuum cleaner: she sucks, she blows, and then she'll get laid in the closet."
"Well then yo momma's like a bowling ball, she gets fingered three times, then thrown in the gutter.
"You are so ugly that they use you to cure hiccups."
"Didn't you date Joan of Arc, Lincoln?"
"At least I didn't date Elizabeth."
"Remember how your mom used to be so fat that on halloween the only costume that would fit her was Goodyear Blimp?"
"Remember how YOUR mom could only wear the size HINDENBURG, and it suited her because when she farted she was just a giant flaming ball of gas."
"Yo momma's like the grand canyon, ANYTHING will fit in her."
To be continued pending feedback
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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June 27, 2002, 19:50
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#5
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Warlord
Local Time: 13:17
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 178
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I'm loving this!!!!!! Hope other people do to.
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June 27, 2002, 23:57
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#6
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King
Local Time: 22:17
Local Date: October 31, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Even if you don't believe in Jesus he believes in you!
Posts: 3,043
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I have to go find my list of yo momma jokes
*idea* PM me yo momma jokes for the story, I'll give credit of course.
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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June 28, 2002, 00:18
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#7
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Warlord
Local Time: 13:17
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 178
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Did you want me to post them here or to an email address?
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June 28, 2002, 09:42
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#8
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Chieftain
Local Time: 03:17
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Brighton
Posts: 90
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But also; Yo mamas so fat when she jumped in the air - she got stuck... and when she fell in love - she broke it. 
__________________
DANGER! - Unexploded Civilian
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June 28, 2002, 15:42
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#9
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King
Local Time: 22:17
Local Date: October 31, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Even if you don't believe in Jesus he believes in you!
Posts: 3,043
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PM them to me please, just click the Icon above this that says send metaliturtle a private message
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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June 30, 2002, 14:25
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#10
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Prince
Local Time: 19:17
Local Date: October 31, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 551
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this is hilarious! 
__________________
"The first man who, having fenced off a plot of land, thought of saying, 'This is mine' and found people simple enough to believe him was the real founder of civil society. How many crimes, wars, murders, how many miseries and horrors might the human race had been spared by the one who, upon pulling up the stakes or filling in the ditch, had shouted to his fellow men: 'Beware of listening to this imposter; you are lost if you forget the fruits of the earth belong to all and that the earth belongs to no one." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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June 30, 2002, 19:44
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#11
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Warlord
Local Time: 13:17
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 178
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Have posted you the jokes. Seemed to have some trouble but hope they go through.
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