PNN - Phoenatican News Network

Chieftess · July 28, 2002, 20:30

This is PNN!

Hello, and welcome to PNN, International Edition. Allow me to introduce who we are. PNN gives a weekly update on what is happening in our nation. Our main headquarters is located here, in Fox Nest, Phoenatica. As your people do not have television (it is like a rock with paintings that move), we are giving you our transcripts. We look forward to this cultural media exchange.

Chieftess · July 28, 2002, 20:31

--- Incoming transmittion via S.E.T.I. from Fox Nest, Phoenatica ---

THE SINO-IROQUOIS WARS COME TO AN END

In a brilliant military campaign, commanded by General Falcon, our armies swept through what is now known as Nouva Terra: Salamanca, Niagara Falls (Mokra), Cattaraugus, and Allegheny. Much celebration was to be had when our people received the news that we had taken Salamanca. We got the pyramids, Leo's Workshop, and Copernicus Observitory. All of our troops not stationed to defend our cities were rushed to the war front to quelch the resistance. The Chinese cities quickly fell to a few of our tanks, and a need transport. After 3 cities were taken with just a handful of our tanks, A commander who goes by the name "Mr. T" said of the Chinese, "I pity the fools who use pikes!".

THE ASPHINXIAN GOLDEN AGE

If there ever was a golden age for a province, this is it. Asphinxia was not only the staging grounds for defending against the Iroquois invasion, they were the site of the recent banquet. Many citizens and dignitaries came, giving speeches, entertaining the party goers, and holding debates. The most interesting of which included Shaitan singing, and the Boil-Steamed Crab Debate. General Falcon was quoted saying, "We've gotta tell the world how they need to fix crabs"! President Chieftess even got in on the debate, siding with the Steam Crab side.

SPICE TRADERS GUILD RELOCATES

One of the oldest citizens groups in the nation is changing their headquarters to Arrakis, formerly Ayang. Chieftess was quoted as saying the move was due to its' more central location. The headquarters at Fox Next will remain as the Northern Branch. The STG Southern Branch is in Delphi.

ELECTION TIME

It's the elections again, and this time, there were plenty of posistions open! In fact, 2 provinces remain unfilled. Some blame the new law allowing only 1 government posistion per nominee, others blame 6 new posistion brought on by the new constitution, and expansion into Iroquois territory. While it may not be as exciting as Term 3, there are a few must-watch races! The Department of Science posistion is being decided between 2 former science leaders, Civanator and Strider! At last count, the two were in a virtual tie. The other race to watch, once again, is the Presidential Race. Chieftess and Donsig, also 2 presidents, are vying for the Term 5 spot, which may be the last term before our victory is met.

jdd2007 · July 28, 2002, 22:12

interesting...

Donal Graeme · July 28, 2002, 22:18

Excuse me, but what in the... heck is this post about? And what in tarnation is Phoenatica?

Ninot · July 28, 2002, 22:21

i believe... they are trying to tell us what is going on in there game....

how propagandic!

Donal Graeme · July 28, 2002, 23:04

ummm...what game is that?

I never paid attention to the previous posts about this... Phoenatica.

Chieftess · July 28, 2002, 23:08

There is a post in our game, telling us about your game. (The Jungle Gazette, I believe). So, it's only fitting that we do the same.

jdd2007 · July 28, 2002, 23:10

Quote:

Originally posted by Donal Graeme
ummm...what game is that?

I never paid attention to the previous posts about this... Phoenatica.

its the civ3 demo game of Civilization Fanatics Site, the #2 civ site

notyoueither · July 28, 2002, 23:10

Such cultural exchanges can do us nothing but good.

When can we have a hockey game?

Octavian X · July 28, 2002, 23:59

I think I'm free Saturday...

PNN Coverage of the Phoenatican Election can be found at this thread. Not that anyone here cares...

MrWhereItsAt · July 29, 2002, 01:05

/me looks forward to when technology allows the establishment of an ABBC (Apolytonian Banana Broadcasting Corporation)

Inverse Icarus · July 29, 2002, 01:34

can you guys give us Motorized Transportation? c'mon...

we can afford 5 or 6 gpt if we have to.

jdd2007 · July 29, 2002, 01:36

Nubclear · July 29, 2002, 02:24

Quote:

Originally posted by UberKruX
can you guys give us Motorized Transportation? c'mon...

we can afford 5 or 6 gpt if we have to.

No Uber.....They are our most trusted friends. They will probably honor that friendship and give it to us in goodwill.

Octavian X · July 29, 2002, 02:49

We're sorry, it's against our policy to sell such technology to such primitive states. However, if a certain amount of money was added to my bank account...

Nubclear · July 29, 2002, 03:10

Quote:

Originally posted by Octavian X
We're sorry, it's against our policy to sell such technology to such primitive states. However, if a certain amount of money was added to my bank account...

Our allies turn their backs on us?! This atrocity shall have to go into the paper....

Mr. President · July 29, 2002, 04:13

I smell a trade war!

Almightyjosh · July 29, 2002, 05:00

Quote:

Originally posted by jdd2007

its the civ3 demo game of Civilization Fanatics Site, the #2 civ site

An interesting counting system you have here. obviously it goes:
2, 1, 3, 4, 5, 6
That would make Apolyton the #1 civ site, wouldn't it?

Nubclear · July 29, 2002, 05:02

Quote:

Originally posted by Almightyjosh

An interesting counting system you have here. obviously it goes:
2, 1, 3, 4, 5, 6
That would make Apolyton the #1 civ site, wouldn't it?

Not all counting systems are alike...Unlike your (2,1,3) system, we go:

1,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,2.

(I think I just sparked an international incident

)

MrWhereItsAt · July 29, 2002, 06:16

GOT IT!

Tass - I thought before you were an American spy (remember?

), but now it's all so clear.

You have been masquerading as a 'Poly citizen in order to stir up a disagreement with Phoenatica. Seeing "one of our own" involved in a losing debate, it is certain some 'Poly citizens would jump in to help you, thus sparking a war of words that would quickly escalate. Next thing you know Phoenatic citizens would be volunteering to spy here, causing mayhem and destruction whilst they are doing so.

Tass is a spy, working not for either government, but for a radical breakaway group that calls themselves "Fanatics" - to bring down both nations!

President Ninot and Head of the Dept of Public Works GoodFella - I believe there is a worker squad being sent to the depths of the Notylopa jungle that has a spare shovel...

trickey · July 29, 2002, 07:36

i demand war with Phonatica!!!!!!!!

Falcon02 · July 29, 2002, 07:51

Quote:

Originally posted by trickey
i demand war with Phonatica!!!!!!!!

You'd regert it at this point, TRUST me

. We've got tons of Tanks and Mech. Inf. Every AI which has come against us (and we've actually been able to attack at the time of their agression) has crumbled under our feet. And now with our distance tech advantage over you... well... your spears may kill a FEW tanks, but they can't stop 'em all.

Ohh and I forgot our Bombard Ability with lots of Artillary and Bombers that will bring any spear down to 1 HP if we do encounter a problem.

Harovan · July 29, 2002, 08:03

The Americans failed in Vietnam with all their tanks, bombers and leather necks. They lost the war in the jungle. We have lots and lots of jungle here, so be warned

.

Almightyjosh · July 29, 2002, 11:40

hehe, jungle smungle!!
I'm the governor of one of 12 provinces in Phoenatica and I firmly belive that with the DOZENS of artillary, DOZENS of bombers, DOZENS of mech infantry, armies, tanks and one immortal in my province ALONE I could set myself up a nice little empire over here. But don't mind me, Falcon's in charge of the millitary might of the entire nation, just don't get him angry or we might have to breifly pause in our march across our planet and load some immortal warriors onto a spaceship...

Falcon02 · July 29, 2002, 11:46

for the most part (guns and explosives). I don't deny low-tech spear booby-traps were used or weren't effective against soldiers, I'm just saying they couldn't have gotten us out by those low-tech weapons alone.

BTW: If we had taken an offensive against North Vietnam (ie. Invade not just Linebacker II, bombing of North Vietnam, so a ground invasion) we MIGHT have won the biggest concern was bringing China into the war... like in Korea. Of Course the source of greatest uncertianty would be the "Underground" against the Democratic Vietnam government. Cause the NVA would be gone and the VietCong would remain as a threat. If we had attempted to take North Vietnam and China didn't jump in the VietCong would have been a MAJOR problem for the Democratic Vietnamese Government at the very least. That might have caused us to stay there longer to help 'em, and then increase the feeling that we were a "occupying" army and potentially increased support for the VietCong and eventually cause an overthrow of the government. But, this of course is all speculation, if we had taken North Vietnam the VietCong might also have died off after a while. But no one can really say for sure about the "what if" questions.

Sorry about going off on a tanget, I'm a bit of a History Nut. But anyway, guerilla warfare isn't accounted for in Civ III, so....

Nubclear · July 29, 2002, 12:23

Quote:

Originally posted by MrWhereItsAt
GOT IT!

Tass - I thought before you were an American spy (remember?

), but now it's all so clear.

You have been masquerading as a 'Poly citizen in order to stir up a disagreement with Phoenatica. Seeing "one of our own" involved in a losing debate, it is certain some 'Poly citizens would jump in to help you, thus sparking a war of words that would quickly escalate. Next thing you know Phoenatic citizens would be volunteering to spy here, causing mayhem and destruction whilst they are doing so.

Tass is a spy, working not for either government, but for a radical breakaway group that calls themselves "Fanatics" - to bring down both nations!

President Ninot and Head of the Dept of Public Works GoodFella - I believe there is a worker squad being sent to the depths of the Notylopa jungle that has a spare shovel...

*Sigh* May I remind you of a four letter word that beings with a P and ends with an N?

Thank you, and banana bless.

Octavian X · July 29, 2002, 22:48

Why would we bother sending our tanks? The immortals could do it...

disorganizer · July 30, 2002, 05:10

Tass:
PhoenaticaN? no. more than 4 letters...

Nubclear · July 30, 2002, 05:14

Quote:

Originally posted by disorganizer
Tass:
PhoenaticaN? no. more than 4 letters...

you flatter yourself too much. :P

disorganizer · August 5, 2002, 02:53

Newsflash:
About to win!
The next turnchat on wednesday will propably be the place for victory celebrations, as we will culturally dominate our world.

We would like to invite all foreigners residing in phoenatica at that time to join the party at sunshine beach resort.