The Court of Apolytonia is in Session: Case 00000

notyoueither · August 7, 2002, 23:49

DO NOT POST REPLIES!
before reading this opening post

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notyoueither · August 7, 2002, 23:51

Complainant: A Running Mad Dog [fictional creation]
Respondent: The People of Apolytonia
Other Persons of Standing: Apocalypse appearing for the Complainant, Epistax appearing for the Respondent.
Senior Justice: notyoueither
Justices Attending: notyoueither, Kangaroo, Kid K [the last 2 are fictional creations]

Issue: A Running Mad Dog has complained that "people in these parts are way to deferential to bananas". A Running Mad Dog contends that this has no basis in the constitution and should not be allowed.

The People of Apolytonia respond that that is silly. Love of Banana is like honouring the gOdz. It is only natural.

notyoueither · August 7, 2002, 23:53

This is a demonstration case. It will allow the court and the public to examine how this process will work as a thread.

Please do not be alarmed. The court has no intention of allowing Kangaroo a permanent seat on the bench.

notyoueither · August 7, 2002, 23:53

Apocalypse will now state the case of the Complainant.

Apocalypse · August 7, 2002, 23:55

Bananas.

Why must people continue this backword practice?

It is so wasteful. Tax dollars are wasted while the justices in the court and the ministers pray to this "great" banana before they go about their daily duties. These people are already back up with work, why waste time with worshiping bananas? Sure we won a war with America and people attribute that victory to the banana's help, but look where we are now! People cry out revolution! Look what our "government" is doing to fix it. Praying to the banana to save everyone! We wouldn't be in this mess if they were more efficient with their time and not waste it on a silly fruit. Normally I wouldn't care and just let people have their religious beliefs, but this hurts others. Look at the consitution. It says nothing about praying to bananas before meetings. This should stop NOW!

Finished.

notyoueither · August 7, 2002, 23:57

Apocalypse. Are you finished?

/Edit. Oh, now I see that you are. Thank you.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 00:04

Epistax will now present the reply for the Respondent.

When you are ready Epistax...

Epistax · August 8, 2002, 00:08

In the name of the great banana I cannot allow this blasphemy! Who makes your banana bread, banana split, and banana covered cereal so good? BANANA, that's who.

Not only is it appropriate to worship bananas, but it's in our yellow blood! Do we dare forsake our yellow ancestors? Do we dare forsake potassium? What of currency system of banana tree trunks? And our huts of banana skin! Our forged banana swords?

We MUST worship the banana because we SURVIVE on the banana!

My country 'tis of thee.. chock full of 'nana trees, of thee I sing...

Epistax · August 8, 2002, 00:09

I'm finished.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 00:12

Thank you. And no motion to dismiss? What a surprise.

Apocalypse, you may now rebut what Epistax has presented to the court.

Apocalypse · August 8, 2002, 00:21

My opponent's defense shows just how greatly this obsession with bananas have hurt our government.

We are doing horribly in progress. All our foods are banana based. No one is able to think up something else to eat without adding bananas to it. This is reflected in the science budget. It is incredibly low. We are forced to buy techs from other nations. We are a laughing stock of civilization for this.

Furthermore, how are we suppose to fully embrace the recently aquired Monotheism with all these bananas? There are many of them! That will leave us stuck in Polytheism. The government should be separated from the bananas to allow us to advance our civilization onto bigger and better place.

I am not saying to ignore the banana, but to put it in its proper place. We know it is useful. That is not the argument. Like I said, this has become an obsession. People need to look past the banana and on to other fruits.

Finished.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 00:27

Thank you.

Epistax, do you wish to address the rebuttal?

Epistax · August 8, 2002, 00:32

There is ONE great banana, and that banana is the ONE g0d. We appease the one to make the rest fruity.

EVERY civilization sings praises about our bananiculture, and our banana refineries are the awe of the planet! Ha

Some civilizations make buildings out of stone, well we have tried worshipping a stone g0d and where did it get us? Rotting bananas.

Some civilizations make buildings out of wood. We tried worshipping a wood g0d too, and the banana trees grew too tall for us to reach the forsaken fruit. The few who made it died of being so anxious to eating the bananas, forgetting to remove the peels.

The banana must be respected for it has to power to take as well as give. At this moment we are destroying the natural jungle habitat of the wild banana. Any stopping the praise will be met with immediate retribution from the gathering banana tribes. Do you have any idea what pissed off fiber looks like?

We know what happens if you fail to entertain a banana. It turns black and brown and squishy.

If we abandon the banana, we abandon ourselves. All medical research indicates that our DNA is made up of a small piece of the divine BNA (banana nucleic acid), and that 90% of our body mass is made of banana.

Finished

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 00:45

Very good Epistax. However, I must rule you out of order on a point of divinity.

[quote]There is ONE great banana, and that banana is the ONE g0d[/i]

While you are correct that the great banana must of it's very essence be a g0d, one must also acknowledge other divinities. Those being the gOdz DanQ and MarkG who have created the heavens and earth for us to reside upon and who, along with their minions and messengers (that mainly being Ming) protect our great endeavour with their benevolent attentions.

However, for the most part your reply was acceptable. Thus I think it unlikely that it would be mysteriously erased before morning.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 00:49

The court will now entertain questions from the public.

Remember to ask first. You will be recognised, then you may proceed.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 00:56

Kangaroo is currently off line, but wanted me to ask both Epistax and Apocalypse for a further post on the topic of BNA (banana nucleic acid).

What is the significance of this?

Epistax · August 8, 2002, 01:08

BNA is simply the very essence of divinity. (I am sure DanQ and MarkG share in this well)

The shape of a BNA is so complex it cannot be drawn or described by mortals, but it is well known that we came from a part of it. We are the children of the banana divinity, born in its image (after a fashion; we have more hair).

We come from the banana, we live by the banana, we die and return to the banana.

Banana. If it had a B on the end, it would be complete.

Let us build the B, together.

Apocalypse · August 8, 2002, 01:21

These religious fundamentalists are dangerous and that is why they should be separated from the government. The constitution is in place to protect that but it is being trampled on.

These people have even created the government funded Banane organization with the slogan "Banana is in its Heaven, Alls Right in the World." From this they have initiated the Banana Instrumentality Project using this BNA. They are creating the abominations known as Bananavangelions.

Government money should not be used in the manipulation of BNA. No where in the constitution is this allowed.

Finished.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 01:25

Thank you both. The court will remain open for a time this evening to be able to recognize questions from the public.

After a time the court will recess for the evening. You may both return tomorrow to address questions put to you through the court by the public or the other 3 (or 4) justices.

MrWhereItsAt · August 8, 2002, 03:29

My Lord Chief Justice, may I be heard?

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 03:30

Yes MrWhereItsAt. Please address the court.

MrWhereItsAt · August 8, 2002, 03:31

Our people are 98% illiterate, superstitious and afraid of their own shadows. What will comfort them if not the knowledge that The Banana is watching over his chosen people in all things?

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 03:34

Thank you. That is a good question. It will be posed to the principle parties when they return.

If no one else has any desire to be recognized, this court will stand in recess shortly.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 03:58

The Court is in Recess

Please do not post prior to it's reconvening. The court will reconvene at about 3pm EST (8pm GMT) Thursday.

Prior to reconvening (or later) you may PM me any questions or statements you may wish to have posted if the times are inconvenient for you.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 14:55

The Court is in Session

If anyone else wishes to be heard, please approach. Some of the other justices may be paying attention as well.

/Edit. Epistax and Apocalypse. MWIA posed a question. You may give an answer if you have one.

Apocalypse · August 8, 2002, 15:50

People can still worship the Banana, but this is getting out of hand. It shouldn't be influencing the government in the way I've mentioned. The Banana isn't the only deity people believe in. There are the gOdz Markos and Dan.

Finished.

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 16:15

Thank you Apocalypse.

themagicbanana · August 8, 2002, 18:35

i shall punish all non-believers!i shall punish the people of apolyton as demonstration of my might.no bananas for an entire year!!!!and your future wars are cursed until i say so!

notyoueither · August 8, 2002, 19:05

You sir, are out of order. Please desist.

rendelnep · August 8, 2002, 19:20

excuse me, Judge notyoueither I am aware that you will find this post out of order but never the less I would like to register a formal complaint against themagicbanana because of the following post found in my thread:

Quote:

The Banana shall punish you and your followers for your ways.Except no bananas to grow this year....and more bad things will happen.we let you win the war with america, but just be wary of future wars you idiot.

This post is found on the second page of my thread. I find that his post is offence and feel that he should be punish for What I believe as unlawful spamming.