Falling in Love with On Line Mexican Girl - Am I crazy?

bigvic · August 13, 2002, 02:16

Met a very attractive girl online, seems smart, cool, special. I'm a nut. Falling in love. She has a web cam

wow. Never done anything like this. Am I as insane as i think? Any advice?

Alexander's Horse · August 13, 2002, 03:14

Try not to point the web cam at your pants.

Mr. President · August 13, 2002, 03:18

Quote:

Am I as insane as i think?

In a word? Yes.

Alexander's Horse · August 13, 2002, 03:23

Quote:

Originally posted by bigvic

I'm a nut. Falling in love.

Is this a mutual feeling or is she only interested in you for cooking tips?

Hydey · August 13, 2002, 04:22

When will he realize that she is actually a prisoner named Bubba.

Skanky Burns · August 13, 2002, 04:25

Long distance relationships suck. The sex is rather difficult.

Urban Ranger · August 13, 2002, 04:26

Not worse than some of the people on 'Poly.

Skanky Burns,

There's always keyboard sex

Robert Plomp · August 13, 2002, 04:40

defenitely crazy indeed.

Aeson · August 13, 2002, 05:25

Meeting someone online isn't such a big deal anymore unless one of you is underage. That said, don't fall in love until you've actually met and spent some time together at least. Girls always seem different when you meet them IRL. That can be a good thing, but usually it's not...

Q Classic · August 13, 2002, 07:09

yes. why? falling in love does that to people.

whether it leads to any meaningful relationship or not is another matter.

Robert Plomp · August 13, 2002, 07:16

Cyber love is pathatic.
It has nothing to do with loving someone.

It's just the excitement about talking to a girl or a woman. not a particular woman. You won't notice if a friend of the girl / woman would sit at the other side of the line, and talk with you.

Conclusion: it's not love between people, it's more love between you and someone you believe she's a woman, and that's all you want. WOMAN WOMAN WOMAN WOMAN.

please open your eyes Nicholas.

Ishtar · August 13, 2002, 08:10

Quote:

Originally posted by Aeson
Meeting someone online isn't such a big deal anymore unless one of you is underage. That said, don't fall in love until you've actually met and spent some time together at least. Girls always seem different when you meet them IRL. That can be a good thing, but usually it's not...

Same goes for the guys....they can seem so GREAT online...then you meet them...and..well, either you can't stand to look at them...or you just don't click...or you click for a few weeks and then it just disappears.

So the advice given by Aeson "Don't fall in love until you've actually met and spent some time together..." is great advice.

Don't go totally nuts for the the "online person". Meet them..hang out...then if things ARE what they seem...go for it.

I've made some great friends online...but...haven't YET met anyone that turned into something more than friends.

Good Luck!!!

Ishie

Richelieu · August 13, 2002, 08:12

Have fun! Life's short.

tniem · August 13, 2002, 08:23

Advice - set up a meeting. See if she is the same person as the one on that webcam and then see what happens.

But don't let some of these other people's comments deter you, falling in love happens and happens in situations that are going to have nothing good for you. I MS and HS I fell in love (more like crushes, but you think its for real at the time) multiple times and you just kind of get through it. You think everything is going to be forever and then you wake up one day and realize just how short three weeks is. You will get through it, over it, or whatever.

SlowwHand · August 13, 2002, 08:27

When one considers that it's really a coked up Peruvian guy, I have to vote "Yes, crazy".

drake · August 13, 2002, 08:56

Quote:

Advice - set up a meeting. See if she is the same person as the one on that webcam and then see what happens.

Well if she is a Mexican and his location is really in South Caroline, you got a pretty big distance between them.......good luck trying to arrange such a meeting. Seems like a waste of time to me. Too many logistics to consider.

I submit the following lines from a popular 80's tune:

"You can look inside another world.
You get to talk to a pretty girl.
She's everything you dream about...
but don't fall in love..."

Dan Severn · August 13, 2002, 09:44

Where does she live? Anyway, have fun. Go for 'er, me laddy!

Cybershy, he didn't say he was watching pornography, he said he was emailing her.

"Never take life too seriously; no one ever got out of it alive." -Bugs Bunny

Kassiopeia · August 13, 2002, 10:07

People can be so different from what they really are from what they are online. I hold myself as an example. With anonimity (god what a horrible word to spell) comes certain liberties, with certain liberties the 'darker' sides of the persona might take precedence over the 'normal' RL personality.
Sometimes it just feels best to refer to the you online with your pseudonym and your true self with your real name. Freaky? Hell yes.

Robert Plomp · August 13, 2002, 10:10

Quote:

Cybershy, he didn't say he was watching pornography, he said he was emailing her.

I was not talking about porn either.
I'm just making clear that the only thing that it is about is that it's a woman, while you hardly know anybody about the person herself. (I mean personality)

Dan Severn · August 13, 2002, 10:13

I'm exactly the same online as off.

Well, I troll more offline.

I guess having a fake name changes things...

DanS · August 13, 2002, 11:13

bigvic: As long as you check things out beforehand and go in with your eyes wide open, you should be OK.

No, you're not crazy. Or at least this doesn't show that you're crazy.

My cousin met her husband online. It's happening more often nowadays.

bigvic · August 13, 2002, 11:23

Preciate the response. A few points here. I met her through an online dating service, e-mailed on a lark. Was 100% honest about myself, witty, all that crap. Didn't expect anything in return. Then one night got a ring on my messenger service, boom, her. Sat up all night talking, poof, she lets me see her on web cam. She's not a Peruvian prisonor, nor some guy named Bubba, unless he's got some pretty good makeup

.(Good one, btw).

me? Just finished and finally got over a divorce. Have dated locally, got some prospects around here despite my current situation - changing careers, going back to school (paralegal until I get into grad school to help pay for living expenses - psychology for grad school - yes i am crazy, but metacognizant), moving in with parents to take care of father who has alzhiemers until mortality or VA nursing home takes him

. Sounds pretty bad, but actually I feel pretty good, free, doing what I want for the first time in a very long time. Have gotten into better shape than since I was in college the first time, looking good. In other words starting over.

My history - burned out Spanish/Social Studies high school teacher. Ex wife - evil Costa Rican beauty. Too trusting and scrupulously honest after being a total bullshitter for years. Probably masochistic tendencies. Why am i airing this out here? Perhaps a bit of exhibitionism, but I find that perfect strangers often give the best advice in these matters. Polytoners impress me as a whole, as solid supporting types, if a bit wierd, some. But then who am i to talk, all things considered? I remember some guy talking about his suspicians of bisexuality in his girlfriend a few months ago - very popular thread, that one, so at least, hopefully I'm providing some entertainment here. Might be fun to make up something truly lurid, but again, I'm scrupulously honest and genuinely need some advice/support.

My take on it, now....She is hot. Can't deny that is part of the attraction. I've always had something for latin women - masochist, you know. Lives in mexico, college grad, just starting career. Seems genuine, something coming through here that touches something other than my crotch. Thats saying something, since I've become pretty cynical lately. Makes me feel very good. Smart, perceptive, many shared interests. We talk for hours. I'm getting a web cam myself soon, largely b/c of this i admit, though feel its a good investment by any measure.

Self analysis: I cannot stop talking to her. I do not want to stop. I am in love with her. I realize there is probably a .01% chance anything more than romantic/deep conversations and kinky cybersex will come of it

. I'm having fun. Who knows? We have all become so cynical, and romantic love is usually just groin magnetism combined with childish desires to find someone to fix all of one's problems and "live happily ever after", which causes more unhappiness when realities of lifew sink in....but....

She agrees with all of this. She thinks like I do. I swear she seems to understand me. So, I think I'll enjoy it while it lasts, expect it to end sadly, but enjoy it while it lasts. Damn, life can be soooo cruel sometimes, can't it? At least if one realizes that, one can make the best of it, right? But then, crazy things can happen, right? Sometimes incredibly unlikely things occur, good things that is, and if it helps motivate me and gets me through the day, why not?

Thanks for all the input, serious and not so serious - I appreciate and need both. Feel free to continue, please. Nice to have good friends, to know that there are so many good, caring people out there all around the world.

orange · August 13, 2002, 11:24

people are never the same in person as they are online. Consider yourself warned

bigvic · August 13, 2002, 11:41

Yeah, guess I'm trying to do the schizo/emotional thing here. I've found romantic love to be like licking honey from a razor, but damn its sweet! One can try to insulate oneself from natural human emotions, but in my experiencs this often leads to a certain vulnerability when one's true, fallible human nature comes through. Then its like throwing the floodgates open, dangerous. Me, I'm a lot more reserved offline. There is something incredibly liberating obout this though. Seems that people go 1 of 2 ways - either much more honest (me) online, or completely full of sh!t. Met some of the latter. Maybe this is best for me now, a sweet fantasy with little hope for fulfillment while I do things that will leave me with precious little time for non-essential distractions. Hmm.....

bigvic · August 13, 2002, 11:45

non essential distractions like civ III

well, gotta have something closer than mexico city to unwind with

PAthetic, I know

August 13, 2002, 13:39

That was one very good long post.
Im not dating anyone online, but I totally agree with your honey on a razor view of love and things like that.
I'm a self-pronouced lurker so I cant really make a long post explaining how and why I thought the post was really good but I do

Boris Godunov · August 13, 2002, 13:42

Uh...just make sure it doesn't end up like this:

http://www.syracuse.com/news/poststa...0304179082.xml

WhiteElephants · August 13, 2002, 16:06

You're looking for love and whether it was this person or another you were going to find it. You're in love with what you imagine her to be. And utimatley the fact that she is thousands of miles away might very well be another attraction to you, perhaps the strongest.

If you've been burnt, and it sounds as though you have, the fact that she lives so far away creates a physical as well as emotional distance. Someone for you to admire from afar without the threat of being burned again.

I'm also somewhat alerted by the fact that you claim to have local "prospects". That suggests a certain emotional frame of mind that, to me, seems rather dangerous. It seems as though you're already in love and just looking for a warm body to play the part.

Ecthy · August 13, 2002, 16:10

You're not crazy, bigvic. You're just plain stupid.

Az · August 13, 2002, 16:35

all reactions aside, I think that most of us would appreciate a picture of her .