The Jungle Gazette
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Your light in the Jungle- August 14th, 510 B.C.
War Clouds Looming...
The skies are dark above Apolytonia, and it isn't due to the weather. Recent troop movements near Termina have hinted at possible military action against France. Well, President Ninot has asked for a formal declaration of war and gotten one. The SMC has revealed a plan for attack, one that will take out France with a lightnin quick attack. War is on the horizon, and the fighting may start any time now. Swordsmen, the newest soldiers in the service of the Banana, have been seen loading onto galleys just off the coast of Termina. They have been seen heading south-west. This is all part of the grand plan laid out by Supreme Military Commander UberKrux, who lead us to victory against the Americans. The banana willing, the clouds of war may pass, and reveal a glorious victory for Apolytonia!
Click here to learn more about the SMC's War Plans.
Elections are Under Way!
The third election held in Apolytonian History has commenced, with candidates running for over half a dozen posts, including President, Vice-President, as well as the Ministers of War, the Economy, Science, Foreign Affairs, Imperial Expansion, and Public Works, as well as the City Planner. This election has been significant for two main reasons. The first, the absence on a large part of partisan fighting between the two major politcal entities: the United Front Coalition, or UFC, and the Democratic Industrialists of Apolytonia, or DIA. Compared to the last election, this one has been downright pleasant, devoid of any bickering, flaming or mud slinging. Perhaps things in Apolytonia have become more peaceful since then, despite trouble over in France, or perhaps the populace is less interested in political parties. Either way this election will go down as a peaceful one.
It will also likely be called boring as well. The biggest problem that is faced right now is the fact that there are few people running for office right now. Only one person is running for most of the positions, in fact there are only four contested ones: Minister of Imperial Expansion, Minister of Science, and Minister of Public Works, as well as City Planner. Some of the nation's top leaders are leaving office, including President Ninot and Vice-President Timeline, as well as Minister of the Economy Spiffor and Minister of Imperial Expansion Sir Ralph to name a few. Fortunately, SMC Uber has deciced to run for office for a third consecutive time, maintaining some continuity in the government. The next government will have the following people in these positions:
President: MisterWhereItsAt
Vice-President: UnOrthOdOx
Supreme Military Commander: UberKrux
Minister of Foreign Affairs: Togas
Minister of the Economy: Donal Graeme (Yours Truly)
Here is the election poll for City Planner
Here is the election poll for Minister of Public Works
Here is the election poll for Minister of Imperial Expansion
Here is the election poll for Minister of Science
New Economic Organization Founded!
A new organization along the lines of the Machiavelli Institute and the War Academy has been established: The Adam Smith Foundation. The Foundation is an organization with the purpose in mind of helping the government formulate economic policy. Here is a quote of the goals of the organization:
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Quote:
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This new Foundation will analyze existing policy, research information and use it to help create ideas for domestic policy.
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The Foundation, or ASF, was created by Yours Truly, as a means of helping with domestic policy, something that I, as future Minister of the Economy, will have to decide upon. Already a number of people have joined up, including:
Spiffor
Shiber
GhengisFarb
adaMada
Sheik
GoodFella
GePap
rendelnep
Kloreep
The future of this organization looks bright, and it will hopefully contribute as much to Apolytonia as the Machiavelli Institute and War Academy have done.
Click here to go to the Thread on the Adam Smith Foundation
"Memphis" seeks to Please the gOdz
The city of Memphis, named so for expediency, has recently completed a temple in the hopes of pleasing the almighty gOdz. With a war coming soon, it was felt that having support of the ever-generous banana would help lead Apolytonia to victory. President Ninot was present at the opening ceremony, which was a grand occasion. He told the citizens present that their town would soon have a new name, one worthy of the banana.
Letters to the Editor
Note from the editor: I sent several copies of this letter a couple of days ago to jdjdjd after hearing that he was safe. I printed it in the Gazette to explain the following letter.
Dear jdjdjd,
I am glad to hear that you are ok, and that everything is well in the land of the Iroquois. I have received some letters from Skywalker telling me about all the effort that was put in to rescue you. You will be pleased to know that the boat returned safely, and that no one else was lost at sea. However, two things have happened: First, Skywalker sent me a letter telling me that Timeline tried to have him assassinated, and that he has fled for his life. I haven't heard from him since. Yet there is something else, UnOrthOdOx has disappeared, apparently kidnapped from America. He managed to sneak a letter out from his captive using one of your pet monkeys, and I got it last Saturday. UnOrthO has reason to believe he has been taken captive by the French, and I implore you to try to rescue him. I am too unable to leave, as someone needs to maintain the Gazette, and thus you are the only person who is in a position to help. I am entrustin this letter to your pet monkey, in the hopes he gives it to you.
Sincerely,
Donal Graeme
I received this from a monkey yesterday that walked into the Gazette office.
Dear Mr. Donal Graeme:
I have met again with my monkey friends, who still has the scar on his ear from our time fleeing France, and the letter you have sent. I am rather distressed to hear the news that Joan D'Arc is up to her tricks again, I am sure it is the dreaded LeClerc who is leading the interrogation of Mr. UnOrthOdOx. His tactics are all too familiar to me.
I have been able to obtain the use of two horses, while transversing the Plains leading to the Great Rift. They have helped speed my trip terribly, and I hope to cross the Mountains with uninterrupted haste. Dog is, of course, with me, and I am using my two monkey friend's services, as well. I will continue to keep you updated via the pigeons, originally supplied to me by Mr. UnOrthOdOx, though with this letter I send the monkeys as they will need to return with several items, listed below, from my old friend GodKing.
Unfortunately, I fear my current weapon (my staff), may not be adequate given the present state of armaments. Please forward this list to GodKing, and have him prepare them at once, and send them back with the monkey. Other items will be needed to assist in freeing our Editor in Cheif. I think I have a plan, but I need to make sure I have the supplies and before I finalize anything.
The supplies are:
1. one sword, in the style of Timeline's, but perhaps even smaller for easier concealment.
2. some of the Army of the Jungle boots, I am afraid my sandals are worn to my foot
3. two saddles for the two horses
4. two other larger swords
5. two lengths of rope
6. three or four monkey traps
7. one bow with arrows
8. some of the fluid he uses to keep his torches burning
Time is of the essence and I hope to meet up with the monkey at the mountain cave where the Iroquois assisted us with Mr. Moral Hazard. My guess is Mr. UnOrthOdOx is in the same prison I found Mr. Hazard, and that the French will not make the same mistake twice, that is he should be under heavier guard.
The French must be stopped and this time, I say, THIS IS WAR!
May the Banana have mercy on our souls.
I remain,
jdjdjd
Right before the Wed. edition was finished I received this message from Skywalker, the first communication from him since his escape. He has been gone for so long he isn't aware that UnOrthOdOx has been kidnapped.
Dear UnOrthOdOx,
I have finally reached Athens. Alexander has welcomed me into his court. First, though, I must tell how I got here.
Fleeing Del Monte, I rode Apol westward towards Greece. Travel was difficult, for not only was I laden with supplies and weapons, but several rogue (or maybe not so rogue) groups of Americans roamed the countryside, pillaging and causing chaos. Several times I was attacked, but each time my sword, Starsteel, was more powerful than their pitiful clubs and spears. As I came to the Olympian Mountains, the raider grew sparser, but were better equipped. I found, strangely, that travel by moonlight was safest. The Greek Power manifests itself as the Moon, whereas ours as the Banana. Their Power's avatar, Apollo, is named after the ancient name for our race, the Tribe of Apol. Even then they recognised our divine origin. But I digress. Apollo watched over me as I went by foot through the jagged passes.
Finally, I stood atop the Mount Olympus itself, and I could just make out the Acropolis in the distance. The first part of my journey was nearing an end.
It was easy going for the rest of the way to Athens. As I neared the gates of the city, guards rushed up to challenge me, seeing that I was quite well armed. I told them who I was, and requested an audience with Alexander. Knowing that I was a person of some wealth and stature, they agreed.
As I walked through Athens I stared in amazement. This was like Apolyton, except it seemed even bigger! Though I'd taken care to learn Greek, I still had difficulty understanding everything being said out there. At last I came to the Palace. Their architecture is quite different from ours, but the sight was grand all the same. I gave my greetings to Alexander and requested to stay the night and talk in the morning, as it was nearing evening. Before I went to rest, though, we were treated to a grand feast that seemed to have been prepared for no particular reason. It is now that night, and as I sit here writing you, I think with a pang the homeland I have been forced to leave. Good night.
- skywalker
Sorry about that. Fixed the problem now.
