The Jungle Gazette
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Your Light in the Jungle - August 17, 430 BC
The people have spoken
Banana handed resounding defeat
In what some declare it's worst outing, the Banana was defeated soundly once again. The people let it be known that the Banana my be worshipped, but they have no desire to see it in government. Losing in 4 polls: President, Vice President, Minister of Economy, and Foreign Affairs Minister. "You mortals have little understanding of the way the universe works. How can you vote against a gOd? I mean, really, look at your president. He will b waking the majority of you at 4 AM for a public announcement. What were you thinking. Rest assured I will return once again, however." Replied the Banana. MrWhereItsAt was unavailable for comment. The festivities around his campaign headquarters have yet to subside, actually. We must assume he is still within somewhere.
Polls close
New government sworn in
As the polls closed Saturday, and the votes were tabulated, most of the races were decisive. City Planner, however, bears a shocking resemblance to the Presidential election of last term. Running head to head for much of the poll. When all was said and done, however, GodKing came out on top. The matter may be subject to re-count, however. The new officials were sworn in Saturday evening as follows:
President: MrWhereItsAt
Vice President: UnOrthOdOx
Minister of Economy: Donal Graeme
Foreign Affairs Minister: Togas
Supreme Military Commander: Uberkrux
Minister of Science: Apocolypse
Minister of Imperial Expansion: Will 5001
Minister of Public Works: WhiteBandit
City Planner: GodKing
Relations improving
Deal struck with Persia
Our emmissaries have been quite bsy of late. The latest in a flurry of foreign relations missions resulted in a deal with Persia. The deal allows for mutual access to each of our respective lands. A monumental show of trust from both sides. This deal will also help to establish a history of cooperation, and bring our to nations even closer. "I honestly believe that this will lead to even more lucrative trade between our two great nations. Perhaps even further such arrangements in the future." Ninot said.
Economic institution created
Opens to fnancial analysis
With the success of such groups as the War Academy and Machiavelli Institute, our new Economic Minister, Donal Graeme, opened the doors of the new
Adam Smith Foundation. "This new Foundation will analyze existing policy, research information and use it to help create ideas for domestic policy. As the new Minister of the Economy, I feel that the domestic aspect of government needs a debating body like the War Academy or Machiavelli Institute." Donal stated.
Marvelous work in Persia
Hundreds of years of work pay off
A marvelous sight can now be seen for miles. Persia made gigantic pyramids that ar a marvel of mdern engineering. "I have recieved word that through years of hard work and dedication, Persia has made these Great Pyramids. They will serve as a monument of Persian engneering. With our new Right of Passage agreement, it is also possible for all the people of Apolytonia to witness these for themselves." Togas, the new Foreign Affairs Minister stated.
Dear Mr. Graeme,
I am writing to you from outside the jail where the French hold Mr. UnOrthOdOx. The monkeys have completed their mission and brought to me the items listed in my last letter, that my old friend GodKing has provided. These items already have come to bring me assistance, as I had a close call with one of the French guards, whose clothing I now wear, but more on that later in this letter.
After receiving your letter that Mr. UnOrthOdOx had been kidnapped, I immediately set out for the Eastern side of the Great Rift. Having elicited the help of two horses, I rode as fast as possible given the terrain, with Dog following rapidly on foot. The monkeys using their ability to move quickly via the trees, made out for your office and then to Godking's. I was reunited with the monkeys two nights ago at a cave we know from our last visit to Paris. There I saddled the horses and loaded them with supplies. I took the small sword and concealed it under my tunic for protection, and put the boots on to replace my sandals. I had a plan in mind, but it required a stealth approach on Paris (the jail is on its southern outskirts), so we started towards the prison at a steady pace.
While I still remain at liberty to complete my mission, I did have a run in with a French guard, as mentioned. He was monitoring the road leading to Paris from the mountains. He stopped me and asked me several questions about where I was heading and why. He knew I was Egyptian by my clothing and asked me to step down from the horse. He was very curious as to why an Egyptian spoke such excellent French, why I was so far from my home, and why I was on this mountain road and not the jungle road. I tried to explain that I was merely a traveller returning home from the Iroquois Land, and wished to stop at the French city of world renowned. He did not buy into this lie and started to inspect my belongings.
I had already recognized him as one of the guards who had been involved in my interrogation when I was a prisoner of the French, but his mind was slow, and did not recognize me for several minutes. As he questioned me, I had moved my hand to the small sword, Godking calls this a "dagger" and prepared myself for the inevitable. When the guard did realize who I was, I knew I had to act fast, I quickly plunged the dagger upwards from under my tunic in to his chest, causing him to fall forward into my arms.
I then dragged him to the side of the road, under the cover of some trees, and exchanged clothing with him. I thought not having the foreign clothes of an Egyptian man, may assist my being unnoticed. I removed myself from the area with much haste and headed closer to the prison, Dog and the monkeys in tow.
I now have the prison where Mr. Hazard was kept in my sites, and have been observing it undetected from some distance.
Godking has sent me an extra peice of equipment, with a note in that familiar scrawl of his, that said "Try this out, everything appears much closer, it may come in handy--GK". This contraption is conical in shape, narrower on one end, and wider on the other. Lenses are on either end, and the contraption is in three sections that slide into one another to make it easier for carrying. When I look through the narrower end things that are far away appear much closer.
This gift from GodKing has worked spendidly as I have been able to observe the prison from afar without notice. I can see that there are six to ten guards on duty at any time, night time seems to be the time with the lesser amount. I saw them bring Mr. UnOrthOdOx into the jail earlier today, so I know he is there and will proceed with my plan. I have already laid some preparations for my attempt to free Mr. UnOrthOdOx, and am waiting for night fall to set it in motion.
I will report back to you, Banana willing, after we have reached safety.
I remain,
jdjdjd
Dear UnOrthOdOx,
I must write quickly, for I have little time. They have come. I hear the pounding at the door. It creaks from the pressure. They're almost he
(Hopefully. It probably won't be for a looooong time. 
)
Why not just look at the Wonders Screen (F7)
