Apolytonia's First Tourist Brochure

GhengisFarb™ · September 27, 2002, 23:43

Here's my first attempt at a tourist brochure for Apolytonia.

ROYAL PARKS AND RESERVATIONS
Shrine of the Burning Banana
When the ancient Apolytonians first wandered the jungles they were primitive and afraid. Demoralized by the endless jungle and the loss of their kinsmen to the hungry swamp tigers and jungle eagles they received their first spark of hope when Joses the Profitable experienced the vision of the Burning Banana. Here the Great Banana first gave guidance and instruction to the Apolytonians and they swore to abide by the Fruity Covenant.

To this day this area of jungle is considered a most holy shrine and no Apolytonian will take axe or torch to this most sacred of jungles.

Reservation of the Last of the Banazons
Once the dominant tribe in Abananaba, the Banazons are a fierce civilization of all female warriors. While the Apolytonians have advanced in science, the barbaric Banazons still roam around virtually naked wearing nothing but their common article of clothing the battle thong. It is extremely puzzling that the more advanced Apolytonians have made no attempt to educate the Banazons on their clothingless practices.

SITES OF INTEREST
Ruins of Munich
Former site of the German city of Munich, it was wiped out by Apolytonian soldiers after the infamous Munich Keg Party.

Ming Sing
One of the oldest and most imposing fortresses in known civilization, Ming Sing is the ancestral home of House Ghengis. Rumored to have been built by the first Ghengis to "get as far away from the #%$%@ jungle as we possibly can" it continues to receive new residents in its dungeon from a magical portal no one has been able to explain.

These prisoners, while on their "vacation in Mingapulco" are put to prompt use in the mines and gravel pits of Ghengis Mountain.

Jungle Gazette Museum
Those interested in seeing the source of Abananaba's oldest piece of literature will want to visit this museum and publishing ranch.

While there are many exibits on the making of banana parchement, it is still a working business and vistors can see the Jungle Gazette go from an edible fruit to an edible reading medium.

Duff Brewery
Apolytonia's oldest brewery, Duff's is owned by GhengisFarb and continues to provide the beverage of choice for the Banana King Tavern Chain.

Ubergorsk, City of Wonders
While in Ubergorsk you see the Great Wonders of the Sun Tzu Memorial and the Sistine Chapel.

Sean · September 27, 2002, 23:53

Don't forget to visit Apolyton, and stroll around Parliamnet and the Palace.

Sean.

Ninot · September 28, 2002, 00:28

the SSA is proud to see Duff Breweries labeled

Shiber · September 28, 2002, 07:11

I love it!! It's gotta be the best thing since the wheel!
IMHO we should declare festivals in our royal parks from time to time. Also, when a city is celebrating We Love The King Day it should become a tourist attraction for that period.

Aro · September 28, 2002, 08:23

Bananazon Reservation! I love it! Three tiles of rich rainforest, where ThePlagueRat first found the sacred Bannanabis Sativa, will be left for the posterity. May the Emperor Banana Selassie bless you!

zeit · September 28, 2002, 10:10

i guess a cruise to the uber island is not an option.
after all, we better keep this magnificant island's colonization to ourselves, untill we can develop a decent tourist attractions on it's lovely untamed beaches...

Shiber · September 28, 2002, 10:22

Yes, it's difficult to set tourist attractions in top-secret locations.
Furthermore, when transporting tourists to Uber Isle there's a chance that one of the two galleys might sink every time they cross the sea between Uber Isle and Mingapulco. The tourists will have to pay high insurance fees and that would keep Uber Isle from becoming a popular tourism site until Astronomy is invented.

pikesfan · September 28, 2002, 11:34

I see the tourist map has Über Isle poking out of the bottom

Zero · September 28, 2002, 12:22

All tourist maps will be confiscated by the intelligence agency due to the reason stated above.

This law will be enacted as soon as we GET a intelligence agency. Dammit, that would be too late.

GhengisFarb™ · September 28, 2002, 12:34

Quote:

Originally posted by Calc II
All tourist maps will be confiscated by the intelligence agency due to the reason stated above.

This law will be enacted as soon as we GET a intelligence agency. Dammit, that would be too late.

Who's in charge of Shadow Agency kill teams? America's CIA has them, where are ours? And somebody pull the file on this Calc II person...........

Inverse Icarus · September 28, 2002, 13:33

brilliant GF. brilliant

Meshelic · September 28, 2002, 13:48

The Shadow Service takes care of all intelligence matters in these cases.

Meshelic · September 28, 2002, 13:50

State assassins and kill teams are trained by the Shadow Service...