September 29, 2002, 12:33
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#1
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King
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The Life of One Through the Eyes of Many
Hopefully this turns out better than some of my other stories, I'm trying another epic, I haven't decided whether or not to put humor into it, I guess we'll just see. Give me feedback or I'll throw things. It only gets better with feedback.
And now, The Life of One Through the Eyes of Many!
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I was only in elementary school when I first met Freddie. Frederick L. Manesworth IV to be exact. He was the new kid, so I, being the cool, popular, big man on the playground, made it my personal mission to put this newcomer in his place.
Freddie soon became the kid who was always off by himself, doing what we all thought was homework, scribbling into a little red notebook constantly. He was always by himself, which didn't help his popularity any.
Now, realize that we are in Wisconsin at this point, because, if you know Wisconsin, you know they have a harsh winter for 3 months or more almost every year. For most people, this is a time to go inside to do work, not true for Freddie. He would sit outside under a tree and scribble away through gloved hand. This kid was weird and we knew it.
"Yo Mike! Plaster him with a snowball!!"
"Ok!!"
I picked up a pile of snow and formed it into a ball with my hands. I packed it good and hard, so it was more of a chunk of ice than snow now. I drew my arm back, poised for release, aimed, and threw.
The snowball sailed perfectly, headed directly towards Freddie's face, when Freddie's gloved hand shot up and caught the snowball. His eyes grew menacing and he whipped it back at an extreme force. The snowball planted itself firmly in my ear and the pain was unbearable. I looked around, my friends had run away, and it was just me, and Freddie, scratching away at the notebook with such a fervor as I couldn't believe.
Suddenly I wondered what he wrote in that notebook, Twelve year-olds don't write constantly.
"Why do you always write in that notebook?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Of course I do, I wouldn't have asked otherwise."
"Realize that as soon as you find out, you will never fit in with your friends again."
"I don't care."
"Alright, I need you to make a pact with me."
"Why?"
"You will see shortly."
"Ok, I will."
"From this day forward, you serve me as your leader, you will honor my word as law, and in turn, you will be seen as my second in command in all affairs."
"umm, ok."
In the book were blueprints. Of weapons, of vehicles, and not just the doodles that some young boys do. These plans were down to the last screw, and were extremely impressive.
"Woah!" I exclaimed at an extremely detailed picture of a miniature stealth aircraft.
"Would you like to see it?"
"You mean you BUILT one of these?"
"Precisely."
"Hell yeah I want to see it."
I followed Freddie home that night. He lived in the rich part of town, which I should have expected from a boy with a roman numeral after his name. We walked around a house that could have held twelve of mine, out back to what appeared to be a toolshed converted into a hangar.
There, under a sheet, was "Panther."
"Let's go blow something up"
Freddie's voice startled me, but I was in too much awe to do anything but hop into the copilot's seat and go for a little flight.
"My father says that he's getting taxed too high by these damn democrats, let's go blow up their headquarters."
"Alright, I guess." My father had also been b*tching about the damn democrats, and I also wanted to shoot something.
Panther was like a roller-coaster and a video game combined, it was great. Soon, those damn democrats were no more, and we were on our way home.
"The GOP funds my research, by the way, that was a little gift for them."
I was ready to back out, but I was now in too deep. I had given my word, and besides, I didn't want to tick off a kid with a stealth fighter/bomber as an afterschool hobby.
---
That's right folks, our once ruler was the one responsible for the mysterious destruction of the democratic national headquarters. That was testimony from a recent interview with Head honcho Mike Andersen.
When we return we will speak with Manesworth's brother, his wife, and two of his children. This is action 5 news!
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First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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September 29, 2002, 15:08
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#2
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Emperor
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Well youve certainly got my attention,but I will wait to see which way you take it before I make comment.
Credit where credit is due the opening is so diverse it could develop in many different ways.
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A proud member of the "Apolyton Story Writers Guild".There are many great stories at the Civ 3 stories forum, do yourself a favour and visit the forum. Lose yourself in one of many epic tales and be inspired to write yourself, as I was.
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September 29, 2002, 16:35
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#3
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King
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The Second Testimony
"Panther" was the last straw for Dad. Sure, he was more than happy that the democrats were no longer represented in congress, but he didn't want them out of power like that. Freddie, of course, was more than boastful when Dad got home that night.
"Did you see the explosion Dad?"
"Yes son"
"Wasn't it awesome?"
"The delay of taxes is hardly worth the lives of hundreds of our countrymen."
"But I thought you would be glad that I blew it up."
"YOU!!?"
"And Mike here, he was with me."
"That's impossible!!"
"No it isn't, I need to show you something out in the tool shed immediately."
He led Father out there, tugging hurriedly on his hand, obviously proud of his "accomplishment." Mike trudged along behind him like a puppy who wanted to be fed. I stayed inside, mainly so Dad's anger wouldn't get reflected on to me, but I watched intently.
Freddie slid the door open and gestured triumphantly towards his creation, the "Panther."
Dad was dumbfounded, he barely understood what the thing was, and was horrified as soon as he realized the devastating power of this Mechanical Marvel.
Freddie had donned his helmet, and prepared for an aerobatic demonstration, but Dad intervened. It was the angriest I had ever seen Father, and I was very glad to be inside of the house. I watched as he smashed the cockpit open with a two-by-four and gouged out the tires with an awl. He then used the chainsaw for the rest, and as for the missiles, he was prepared to take those to the police.
That was when Freddie drew the gun. BLAMMM!! The sound filled our quiet neighborhood, and Father hit the ground. Freddie quickly sent Mike to work burying him, while Freddie hid the weapon and his precious missiles.
I became a roaring inferno of hatred and I charged out of the house prepared to take Freddie's life in vengeance for father, when Freddie said, "Stop brother!! I have my excuse."
"Excuse?!!! YOU KILLED HIM YOU JERK!!!!"
"No, I merely tranquilized him, he will awaken in 5 days with slight amnesia, or he will spend the rest of his life in a coma, either way he's alive, and I won't be caught."
I didn't know what a coma was, but the way Freddie said it made me think that everything was ok, it was just another of his weird experiments.
"Ok Freddie"
He went over to aid his friend in digging what I thought was my father's grave. It turns out that it was part of Freddie's plans. They were digging what would become a working radar tower by the end of the month.
Dad did fall into a coma that day, and Freddie was sorry, I could tell. He made sure to get Dad the finest treatment available for his insurance, which was literally the finest treatment.
At home, our grandmother moved in to take care of us, although it was more like we took care of her. Freddie quickly stepped into the role of patriarch and by the age of 15 became the sole recipient of Father's income.
He was starting High School, and was one of the most popular kids at school now that the Almighty Mike Andersen was his backer. Freddie became very involved in the school and local politics, going so far as to organize a 3000 person boycott of Mountain Dew because it "tastes like p*ss." Freddie had aquired the popularity among his peers, good marks and respect from his Teachers, and the phone numbers of almost every girl in the school.
That was when he made his first push. The school administration wanted to suspend him for organizing the boycott as it cut thousands of dollars out of their paychecks because of the budget shortage. The second that they suspended him though, all the students refused to come to school, instead they came to our house where Freddie began "training" them.
He had constructed a veritable fortress on our lands, and was preparing a military action. Students were being armed with weapons that Freddie had designed, and Mike had helped build. The best students of his training got to fly an improved version of his Panther stealth fighter, rightly named the Panther II.
That was when the teachers showed up. Mr. Braatz, the representative met with Freddie, and I was able to listen in on the conversation:
"Mr. Manesworth, your actions promote anarchy, yet I know you are not an anarchist."
"That I am not Mr. Braatz, however, the way our country is slowed down in beuraucracy and comittees, something must be done, and the first thing is to eradicate self-serving administrators who get off on putting their thumbs in their butts and telling people what they Can't do. You know very well that my boycott of Mountain Dew was more than legal, and to say otherwise would make you one of the can't sayers."
"Do not misunderstand me Mr. Manesworth, but realize you have to take care of these children now, they are following you while they are fed, but they won't if starvation approaches soon."
"I have that covered Mr. Braatz, surely, that is not why you led this exodus of teachers."
"You are correct as usual Mr. Manesworth, we teachers wish to join you."
Freddie was ecstatic, he had become the most powerful person in the state at the age of 15, it was a near impossibility, but sure enough, he was in power, and he liked it.
It was now his time to act. I grabbed a small automatic pistol and followed him with Mike, a boombox played "school's out" by Alice Cooper, and at the line "School's been blown to pieces!!!" The Panther IIs had done their job, and we just needed to dispatch a ten person SWAT team.
---
Manesworth had begun his rise to power, would anybody be able to stop him? Before our program is over, you will have heard from his Second in Command, his brother, his wife, and his two children, but before that, we will be showing a timeline of the three years it took him to gain power in the United States, as well as parts of Canada. This is Action 5 News!!!
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First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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October 17, 2002, 23:45
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#4
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King
Local Time: 03:41
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any feedback?
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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October 18, 2002, 03:08
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#5
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Emperor
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Well I read the last part when you posted it and was going to comment when you next posted,I tend to post after the first part then every other part after that but seeing as its you Ill reread it and tell you later.
Mind you it would help if youd write some more!
Also if youre interested I started a thread on the general page CIV3 Limericks go have a look at it and see if you can do better than those already posted its not a competition just for fun.
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A proud member of the "Apolyton Story Writers Guild".There are many great stories at the Civ 3 stories forum, do yourself a favour and visit the forum. Lose yourself in one of many epic tales and be inspired to write yourself, as I was.
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October 18, 2002, 16:02
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#6
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Emperor
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Reread it now,its very interesting much better than humour I think but thats my preference,I like dramatic pieces better.
The only wish is that you keep posting chapters a little quicker as it means having to reread to remember the plot.
Its well written and easy to read looking forward to some more.Is Freddie related to Mr Bush by any chance?
__________________
A proud member of the "Apolyton Story Writers Guild".There are many great stories at the Civ 3 stories forum, do yourself a favour and visit the forum. Lose yourself in one of many epic tales and be inspired to write yourself, as I was.
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October 18, 2002, 18:40
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#7
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King
Local Time: 03:41
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((Freddie is actually based on one of my mentor's 3 personalities, he had electroshock therapy, but Freddie kept a journal, and there is like 8000 pages of drawings and stuff, I just made him a bit younger to make the story more interesting, and to coincide with other events that would seem weird with an older character.))
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First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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October 18, 2002, 18:55
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#8
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King
Local Time: 03:41
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The Timeline
August, 2002- The High School Revolution Riot, Freddie and other high school students and faculty create an 'unhindered learning environment' by killing the administration and all who attempted to take the school from the Forces of Manesworth.
September, 2002- The Forces of Manesworth gain control of Dane County Wisconsin, Thousands of Teens join the Force, as Freddie pushes the boycott of Brand-Name products. The boycott of over 1,000,000 fewer food, drink, and clothing sales in Wisconsin forces many companies to donate the same things at a lower cost while removing the logos. Against the advice of many, Freddie does not impede local businesses, allowing them greater freedom and increasing their support for Freddie's cause.
October, 2002- The Forces of Manesworth take control of the west coast of Lake Michigan, and west to the edge of Minnesota, only a small part of Northern Wisconsin is not under Manesworth's control, and Governor McCallum has deployed the National Guard to back Manesworth.
November, 2002- The Forces of Manesworth win a glorious victory for Chicago, most of the Nation is in support of the Revolution now, and the ones opposed mysteriously died.
((to be continued...Dinner time))
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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October 19, 2002, 00:17
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#9
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Prince
Local Time: 17:41
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Metaliturtle
((Freddie is actually based on one of my mentor's 3 personalities, he had electroshock therapy, but Freddie kept a journal, and there is like 8000 pages of drawings and stuff, I just made him a bit younger to make the story more interesting, and to coincide with other events that would seem weird with an older character.))
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Your mentor??? Are you studying to become a crazed inventor of evil killing machines too?
Is that avatar your real picture? It seems to match the personality coming from you in your writing.
You must have finished feeding by now so on with the goods!
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Here is an interesting scenario to check out. The Vietnam war is cool.
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October 20, 2002, 14:42
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#10
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King
Local Time: 03:41
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November 2002 cont'd- All candidates running for the Manesworth Party (formerly the Republican party) won their elections, as the Democratic candidates mysteriously were killed.
December 2002- Having taken over the U.S. Military, only small bands of extremist groups stand in Manesworth's way, they began congregating in Montana.
January 2003- The New Congress Amends the Constitution to allow Manesworth to become President. The CIA releases a plethora of information to the Forces of Manesworth.
February 2003- All non U.S. Companies are forbidden to sell products in the USA, Raw Materials imports were still allowed, making business in the U.S.A. prosper like never before.
March 2003- Manesworth Invades Western Canada, trying to get a land link with Alaska. A late winter storm stalled the troops however.
April 2003- Manesworth moved even more men into Canada, the Canadians could not stop the constant stream of soldiers.
May 2003- The Canadian conquest had neared completion, the soldiers gave captured Canadians two options, Join or Die. Most picked Join.
June 2003- The Forces of Manesworth Move into the Middle East and vow to kill 600 muslims a day until Osama Bin Laden is found, claiming before each execution that the senseless violence will be ended with Bin Laden's head, soon Arabic forces are mobilized to find and kill any al-qaeda members.
January 2004- New Independence Day is celebrated by dragging Bin Laden's Body across the country.
December 2004- Manesworth marries one of his highschool sweethearts, millions of women mourn.
December 2005- Manesworth's first child, Mikey, is born, the apparent heir to the most powerful nation on earth.
January 2007- Manesworth's second child, Amanda, is born, Manesworth Begins his Annexation plans initiative.
December 2025- Manesworth was viciously shot by a lunatic's bullet, the Nation Mourns the loss of it's greatest leader. Mike Andersen vows to continue Manesworth's plans, and Mikey Manesworth had enlisted in the Marine Forces to aid in the Plan his father had meticulously devised.
When we return we will speak with Mrs. Manesworth herself about Freddie's final days. This is Action 5 NEWS!!
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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October 24, 2002, 13:14
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#11
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Emperor
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People have often posted saying that you are jumping to fast, in your last post you jumped 18 years. Its still better than the one before but you could give it more depth. Its started as a story but now seems to be a list of key events over the timeline. Are you just skipping through to a more important part? or have you got bored with writing this one.
Im only curious and you can obviously write what you like but I really dont think you should miss out so much without good reason.
For all that Im looking forward to seeing where you take this. You say your mentor has three personalities, are the other two as strange or is this person a well rounded individual on the whole? Also this Mike Andersen, is this you? and if so are you content with America and Canada, or have you got bigger ambitions?
__________________
A proud member of the "Apolyton Story Writers Guild".There are many great stories at the Civ 3 stories forum, do yourself a favour and visit the forum. Lose yourself in one of many epic tales and be inspired to write yourself, as I was.
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April 12, 2003, 17:24
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#12
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King
Local Time: 08:41
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The First Chaprers kicked ass.
Mark, get back to this, but do us all a favor and either leave the timeline format or redo the timelines.
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April 12, 2003, 17:57
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#13
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King
Local Time: 03:41
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yeah, the timeline killed it a bit didn't it? I'll see what I can do.
__________________
First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...
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April 13, 2003, 12:19
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#14
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King
Local Time: 08:41
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The second person narrativwes were pretty good, you might work with those.
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