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Old November 4, 2002, 01:13   #61
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Heh...it's always funny when people make it into the stories. How many parts are you planning for this? Question: Were the Warrior class Ironclads available in the real world? I seem to remember something like that, but I'm no longer up on my ships-of-the-line.
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Old November 4, 2002, 20:17   #62
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisiusMaximus
I did toy with just that thought myself, but I didnt want to kill him off just yet.
But who knows what will become of him later

Once again vovan many thanks for your very kind words if only you would hurry up and write your own story

Being a fish beater is always nice, but being a crack-shot pirate would have been very cool. We could have had Mike walk the plank after he finds the pirates are holding Jess captive on the ship to provide entertainment to the crew.

By the way, when does Mike realize that Scratch and Yuri are leading him into a trap?
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Old November 5, 2002, 03:32   #63
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scratch you are indeed the whackiest most whacked whacko on this forum, you got to stay we need you!!

And thanks for the feedback as ever, it really does help to see people are getting with the story and showing their support.

I cant promise to incorporate your ideas but I do hope you enjoy the next part, Im hoping to finish this over two more chapters and turn my attention to another little idea Ive got.

Steamthunk the Warrior was a Broadside Warrior class ironclad, the one I got the spec on was named Warrior when she was launched in about 1867. she served in the British Royal Navy till about 1912 then was sold for scrap. I got the info off the net by running a search on Ironclad, sorry cant remember the exact site but theres some really interesting sites about Ironclads used in the American Civil War.
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Old November 5, 2002, 21:15   #64
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Quote:
Originally posted by unscratchedfoot

By the way, when does Mike realize that Scratch and Yuri are leading him into a trap?
... a trap masterminded by that arch-Russian spy Jess, who's bitter that Mike abandoned her to the Russians and never attempted to save her!

Either that, or she's the pirate queen!
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Old November 5, 2002, 22:28   #65
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Nice job, Chrisius, this is picking up and getting better and better.

Hey, I was wondering, did you name Mike's comrade Tom after me? I put my real name on my profile but I've never used it in posts. I wondered if you saw it there and incorporated me into your fiction.

When Yuri yelled, "She can't take much more of this," Scotty's classic line from Star Trek popped into my head. "I'm given 'er all she's got, sar! She can't take much more o' this!"
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Old November 6, 2002, 06:20   #66
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Quote:
Originally posted by bassman

I wish Jess was my girlfriend!

... a trap masterminded by that arch-Russian spy Jess, who's bitter that Mike abandoned her to the Russians and never attempted to save her!

Either that, or she's the pirate queen!
Hey, that's a cool idea! If she were the pirate queen, maybe Scratch (man is he ever a cool dude) is her new boyfriend and is leading mike into a pirates' trap not knowing mike and Jess had something going before. When mike is in chains in the evil pirates lair before her she will admit she loves both Scratch and mike. In the end of the story we could have a horseback race where both Scratch and mike must try to catch Jess to see who is her real boyfriend. Mike ends up getting trampled on and falls off a cliff. Scratch & Jess live happily ever after.
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Old November 6, 2002, 22:44   #67
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PART 9 Behind Enemy Lines,
Its been over a fortnight Jack, since we heard from Mike. Im really worried," said Betty.

"Stop fussing woman, Mike can take care of himself."

"I know, I know, but surely he should of written to us by now. Im going to go see our Tim and find out whats going on if we dont hear from him by this weekend!" said Betty, "Lord only knows where he is."

"You cant go doing that Betty love, hes the Prime Minister and has got far more important things to be doing."

Betty had never really liked the idea of Mike being in the army, she couldnt bear the thought of him getting hurt. Little did she know that as she spoke Mike was scrambling halfway up a cliff path in enemy territory in the pitch black of night.

"This way Tom," whispered Mike as they headed towards the the old disused mine. "I reckon this is the place Tom, Scratch said we should throw three pebbles into the entrance, and wait for a light to be flashed three times."

"Okay Mike," said Tom.

After they received the signal they headed into the entrance of the mine, where they were met by an old Russian soldier. "Hello my name is Vovan, you will follow me yes," and he led them through the maze of tunnels to the secret complex deep inside the hills.

Mike and Tom were both disorientated when they got there and a tall fellow approached them and said, "two for tea."

"Yes with milk and sugar," said Mike remembering the codewords the PM had given him. "So your our contact," continued Mike.

"Yes Sir, agent Simon Adams at your service, hope you had a safe journey. Pleased to meet you, I was beginning to wonder if you would get here."

Mike and Tom explained the events that had taken place at sea over a hearty meal and a pot of tea. Vovan headed back through the mine to keep watch at the entrance.

"I expect your wondering what it is your here for," said Simon.

"Your not wrong," said Tom, "where do you want these rifles?"

"Just leave them on that table mate."

"So what is our mission then?" asked Mike.

"Right well,Ill fill you in on the whole situation. In eight days from now the Russian leader is going to take the salute of the armed forces in a parade through Moscow. Tensions in Russia are at all time high and the opposistion party is gaining momentum. The outside world does not suspect it, but Russia is at breaking point, the resistance formed by some of the miliatary and the Russian peasants are tired of the tyranny. They are highly active and have been since the war. Of course the authorities suspect our involvement in secretly backing up this organisation, hence Russias aggresive diplomatic stance with us."

"Well never mind the politics, just get to the point will you," said Tom inpatiently.

"So what is our mission," asked Mike.

"Your mission is to dress as peasants and make your way to the Capitol Moscow, this is where your fluency in Russian will come in Mike. You need to get in at least 24 hrs before the parade otherwise youll never get through security. Approx half a mile from where Catherine will take the salute is Moscow's cathedral, and from the top of the clock tower is a clear line of sight to the podium. Tom your task is to assasinate the leader of Russia."

"Bloody hell!" exclaimed Tom looking to Mike who stood there with his mouth open.

"When you get to the cathedral you will find a rifle with double sights fitted hidden in the clock tower. you will only get one shot at this, which once youve taken you will have some time. As the Russian Miliatary does not yet have knowledge of our new rifles they wont immediatley suspect that the shot had come from the cathedral, but their search will soon fan out. Your only chance of escape is to seek refuge in the sewer system, heres a plan of the sewers read it, and memorise it you cant take it with you."

"Right," Mike said. "What is hoped to be achieved by this."

"Yeah, I mean there will be thousands of troops looking for us, and there bound to search the sewers sooner or later," added Tom.

"Right well you are correct of course, but if things go the way they are expected to go you wont be executed as spies you will be treated as heroes."

"What on earth arte you talking about Man!?" asked Mike.

"In about six days from now a massive English occupation force will arrive off the coast Leeds>"

"What? so why send us to risk our lives," said Tom interupting Simon.

"Let me explain,its expected that when the news breaks Russia will sink into civil war. At least seven cities including Leeds have a large resistance presence and are expected to be taken quite easily. In addition Leeds still has a number of English citizens who along with the resistance will declare alleigance to England. After the garrison of Leeds has surrendered the troops will occupy Leeds.We expect a leader of the opposistion to take control of Russia, and in secret negotiations he has agreed to hand back all former British territories. The reason for this large force is in case anything goes wrong and Leeds has to be defended due to a counter attack."

"For gods sake its risky," said Tom.

"Too right, but its payback time," said Mike.

"Yes its risky indeed, not least for you two, but theres a chance this can be pulled off without the world thinking that we have invaded. Hopefully this will prevent any further hostilities elsewhere. You had better get some sleep now, there is much to do before you leave in the morning."

Mike and Tom now had a perilous journey ahead of them, just covering the four hundred miles to Moscow in a week would be difficult,with checkpoints everywhere and patrols wandering all over the countryside at all times. Catherine The Great trusted no one,least of all the Russian people.

PART 10 Fatal Danger/Fallen Comrades.

I am very near completion of this just a few ideas still to decide on. probably one more part and a short epilogue. I will post the next part at the weekend, hope you like part 9

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Old November 6, 2002, 23:35   #68
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Well, yet another fascinating installment. It's a little sad that the last of this story is coming up. And yet, you can be sure that as soon as I read through the epilogue, I'm off to nominate it for the contest.

Looking forward to the assasination of the Russian ruler. (Yep, I always thought they should have chosen Peter the Great as the leader of Russians any way. )

Oh, and thanks for putting that Vovan character in, Chrisius.

Although I do have a bad feeling about him. An old soldier, on the side of the rebels... Somehow I think that he will go to Moscow with Mike and Tom, and when they shoot the Czarina, and flee, he will be there to distract the guards. Everybody will think that he killed Catherine. That will prevent the Russians from turning against the English again. The guards will shoot him in place, and, satisfied, will stop hunting for the assassin, allowing Mike and Tom to escape. And plus, Vovan will have wanted to die any way, as he would prefer that over seeing his beloved motherland descend into the chaos of civil war.
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Old November 6, 2002, 23:44   #69
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EDIT: Ooops, double post
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Old November 6, 2002, 23:53   #70
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Thanks again Vovansim, Ive truly enjoyed writing this and Im sure I will do another. A bit of a rest first though I think.

Your support and that of the other regulars has been a real help these last few weeks.

I spotted your reply to an earlier post about your mother tongue being Russian, are you Russian? or just Russian speaking?. I think it must be an interesting time now in Russia as it modernises and leaves the cold war behind as history.
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Old November 8, 2002, 00:45   #71
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When's the next shipment of goods due to arrive?
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Old November 8, 2002, 03:08   #72
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Itll be at the weekend scrath, Im busy putting the foundations in on a building extension at the moment,

Oh my aching back!!

Just finished work, got rained off again so Ill get right on with finishing the next bit and post it tonight.
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Old November 8, 2002, 18:55   #73
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This the final full part of Mikes Story is dedicated to The Guitarist, myself and Tom both joined poly about the same time this summer and reading his first story about the two brothers was an inspiration to me. He is currently writing a second story about the trials of three young French men after the Germans savagely invaded their country, and is thus far excellent.

Yes Tom I did use your name but forgot to tell you earlier, I hope you dont mind what happens.

PART 9 Fatal Danger / Fallen Comrades.
Early next morning Mike and Tom were studying maps and planning their route to Moscow when Simon joined them.

"Morning chaps, would you like some breakfast. Ive got some fresh eggs from Vovan."

"Sure that would be great," said Tom.

"Me too," said Mike.

"Right lads Vovans got you two Russian Calvary uniforms and two fresh horses. Ive marked on this map several isolated farms where you will be able to shelter at night, and Ive got false papers for you both. This is an official Russian dispatch bag and inside are some false reports sealed. If you get stopped you should tell them that you are carrying urgent papers to Moscow from the miliatary govenor of Leeds. you should travel by day as you will arouse more suspicion if seen riding at night," Simon told Mike and Tom whilst they ate breakfast.

"Sorry Simon, but weve been discussing this and weve decided to travel on foot at night. I know this country very well, and as a boy I went to Moscow with my dad many times, and in the summertime we often went hiking in the hills and forests of Russia and New England."

"Thats crazy! youll never cover that distance in time."

"No problem mate! both Mike and I have done far more than this distance during survival training, and we will be able to slip past any Russian guards in the dark."

"When I was on tour in Rome my unit covered one thousand miles in a week, through the vast expanse of the central deserts of Rome. We travelled at night running for thirty minutes then walking thirty minutes. By day we sheltered in our tents, this is the same but we will hide in the forests during daylight hours," said Mike.

"Well it sounds like youve made up your minds on this, no point in argueing about it." uttered Simon, "Now Ive got you both a revolver. These are a brilliant piece of equipment, they use bullets similar to rifle rounds, only smaller. This revolving barrel takes six rounds, they are so new the army has not been issued with them yet. At least they hadnt a month ago when I left London."

"Not when we left a couple of weeks ago either. Thanks they will be very useful," said Tom.

"Well thats me done, Ive got to leave you now and head back to London for a meeting with the PM. Good luck and I hope to see you when all this over." Simon said and left Mike and Tom to continue their preparations.

Mike and Tom were both very fit young men and well trained professional soldiers. The first few days of their journey went well with one exception. On the third night they were spotted by a Russian patrol. The four Musketmen saw Mike and Tom sneak into the barns, they were trying to steal a couple of Chickens for there supper when the guards called out to them. Mike and Tom split up and hid inside the farm buildings stealthfully taking out the Russians one at a time and cutting their throats open with their sharp sheath knifes.
They lost valuable time hiding the bodies, and it was only a matter of time before the soldiers were noticed missing or found dead.

On the sixth day they were holed up halfway up a moutain in a small cave, where Mike had stayed with his father many years before. From their vantage point they could see right accross the central plains of Russia to the capitol Moscow some sixty miles away.

"were going to have to do that in one," said Mike, " theres no forests to hide out in by day."

"Your right Mike, do you think we should we should rest up here tonight, and set off tomorrow afternoon. Give us chance to rest our feet and by the time we are down to flatground it will be going dark."

"Sorry Tom, well have to go tonight mate, dont forget Simon said we needed to get to Moscow at least 24 hours before the parade. Also reckon they must have found those bodies by now, thier sure to be following our trail sooner or later."

"Yeah youre right, but I think we should steal some horses to speed things a bit ."

"Well Tom I dont think we will have to, see that farm over there about ten miles away. Thats one of the farms Simon marked on that map. I think we should head there first and see if they can give us some horses. Youre right about setting off early though, we can make it there before it gets dark. Just have to be more careful thats all," said Mike.

"Okay Mike thats agreed, Im going to get some sleep now will you take the first watch," said Tom.

"Sure mate no problem."

More Later, somethings cropped up!

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Old November 8, 2002, 22:04   #74
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I'm still wondering where Jess is gonna come in? Since you say you are at the end of your story she must be the russian leader's girlfriend. You said that was the final part of your story. Are you sure?
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Old November 8, 2002, 22:54   #75
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Hmm... Seems to me like there could be a couple more chapters, ChrisiusMaximus. Some rifle action still to be covered.

Good stuff
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Old November 8, 2002, 23:13   #76
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Part 9 Continued.
That evening when they reached the farm house there was a light on in the kitchen, and it sounded like the family were having their evening meal. Mike made his way up to the front of the property while Tom took out his pistol and gave him cover.

"Hello! Hello! weve come from Leeds to see you!" called Mike.

For a few moments there was silence, Toms figer tightened on the trigger. "Hello! Hello! we have food and fresh horses for you," came a familiar voice from inside the house. The door opened, "Hello Mike wheres Tom?", it was Scratch.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asked Mike.

"This is my parents farm, I had no idea you were coming here until I arrived home two days ago. Ive guessed that you are heading to Moscow, but for what reason I do not know,"

"Scratch you old dog you," said Tom breaking from his cover.

"Quick you two come inside, the army patrols past here regulary about every hour." Scratch introduced them to his family who gave them food and drink. "Id like to come with you, Ive got three fresh horses saddled up in the barn waiting for us to leave."

Mike looked to Tom who nodded approvingly, "Okay Scratch your in. But I cant tell you where were going or why yet, though you will soon find out. I reckon you probably know the country around here better then me any how, glad to have you on board mate."

"Yeah likewise Scratch," added Tom.

Scratch made his farewells and the three of them set off at a fast gallop accross the arid countryside. Scratch did indeed know his way around as well as knowing the location of all local checkpoints and army patrol routes. They made excellent time and avoided any enemy contact.

As they approached the outskirts of Moscow, Scratch went to speak to a farmer who agreed to look after the horses. Mike was beginning to wonder why everyone seemed to be helping them, "Scratch are all the farmers against the Russian leadership, why does everyone seem to help us,"

"Mike you dont know the half of it. Only about nine months ago the soldiers shot dead my younger brother in front of my parents, because they did not have enough money to pay for their protection!" Sratch said.

More to come tomorrow.

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Old November 8, 2002, 23:30   #77
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There better be more to come! Can't wait!

Two thumbs up for Mike's story!

...wait wait, make it three plus a smiley face...
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Old November 10, 2002, 05:11   #78
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Sorry for the delay folks, much going on at home this weekend.

PART 9 continued.

"Oh my word! Scratch I am sorry, the Russian army treat their own people as badly as their enemies then?" Mike said.

"Its a long story Mike but for now we should get moving, it will be daylight in a few hours. You will have to tell me where we are headed for Mike! so I can decide which way to go."

"Yes mate youre right, we need to get into the centre of Moscow and take refuge at the cathedral. Ill tell you the rest when we get there."

"How far would you say it is?" asked Tom.

"About six miles to the city centre!" replied Scratch.

The three men set off, comrades with a joint goal although Scratch did not what his goal was. Mike did not tell Scratch the mission in case they were captured and interrogated, he somehow hoped that not knowing would protect him in that event.

"Sir the English agents have been spotted approaching the cathedral!" a young Russian soldier said.

"Good! very good now we can sit and wait till they have done the deed." said his commander Vovan.

Vovan the old soldier was lying in wait for Mike and Tom, he had three men with him and was a high ranking officer in the Russian army with a taste for power of his own. There were many factions in Russia's armed forces who if given the chance would try sieze power for themselves. Vovan had taken Simon prisoner before he could leave Leeds and subjected him to terrible torture to extract his information, needless to say Simon never made it to his meeting with Sir Timothy.

Mike, Tom and Scratch were woken by the clocks bells at dawn on the day of the parade, they had managed to slip easily into Moscow the other night.

"I cant help feeling somethings wrong!" said Scratch.

"Its okay mate were in, so far so good thanks to you," said Tom.

"No you dont understand, we have'nt seen any patrols in the streets outside since we got here yesterday. And dont you think it was a little to easy geting here in the first place."

"Look Scratch keep it shut! weve got a job to do and now were here were going to do it." said Mike with authority.

"Okay Ill be quiet."

Vovan had planned to have one of his men take the shot if the English agents had not made it, but this was perfect for him. Not only would the Czarina be out of the way but he would be the one who captured the assassins. All the more to aid his claim to power!

The time had approached, " right Scratch you may have guessed by now but our mission is to assassinate Catherine when she takes the salute today. Tom is going to use this long range double sighted rifle to shoot her when she steps up on to the podium over there."

"No chance! and how do you plan on getting out of here," said Scratch.

"You just wait and see mate," said Tom.

"We were briefed to make it down into the sewers and lie low until things settle down," Mike continued to explain all the things that Simon had said to them back at the mines at Leeds.

"My god! you English dont do things by halves do you! an invasion force off the coast of Leeds you say. Well I only hope things go to plan, but if you want my advice dont go to the sewers. I know for a fact they are patrolled regulary."

"But simon was absolutley clear about it, he said our only chance was to hideout there." said Tom.

"Simon is not here taking the risks! trust me Mike his information must have been wrong. There are many dark forces at work in Russia." warned Scratch.

"Okay Scratch after the shot we'll follow you, after all you got us in okay!" said Mike.

Tom got into posistion and checked his sights, "I need you to stay quiet now while I concentrate." He said to the others, his target was in his line and he tensed the trigger and fired DAMN!! the ***** moved. The party on the podium were in a state of panic and the Czarinas bodyguards tried to get to her when her forehead erupted with the impact of the second bullet, as she fell backwards into the arms of an old Russian general.

"That was amazing Tom! how did you manage to react so fast," said Mike.

"I told you it would be no problem!" replied Tom.

"Quickly follow me! this way!" shouted Scratch.

As they made it down stairs into the hall of the cathedral the south doors were suddenly kicked open and bullets began flying in all directions, "Take cover!" shouted Mike and threw the rifle to Scratch. Tom instintively did a forward roll and found some cover then in the confusion put a bullet between the eyes of the first Russian. "Good shooting!" shouted Mike.

The odds were now even, Vovan had not expected their to be three to contend with as Scratch hit another in the chest who collapsed onto the pugh's in front of him. Realising things were not going his way he shouted out to Mike, "Mike! dont shoot it is I Vovan form Leeds, you remember. Put down your weapons and I will protect you."

"Never you dog! what have you done with Simon?"

"Simon has gone to hell! where you will soon join him!" he shouted back and fired at Scratch, hitting him in his right leg.

"You b****rd!" shouted Tom as he broke from cover and emptied his pistol into Vovans body. Vovan collapsed on to the floor in a pool of his own blood when the last Russian fired and hit Tom in the stomach. Mike broke from cover and shot the Russian between the Eyes and he fell to the floor.

Scratch who was injured himself picked Tom up and told Mike to help him, "Come on theres a secret passage in the crypt! it goes under the square and comes up into the local resistance HQ underneath a cafe."

Tom was in a bad way and bleeding heavily, "No youll never get out with me, Mike leave me your gun Ill try to hold them off for as long as possible," said Tom.

"Never! Im not leaveing you here Tom!" said Mike.

"Youve got no choice, now do what Ive told you. Give me your gun and get out of here, Now!!"

They could here soldiers approaching, "Okay my friend, Ill never forget you," said Mike.

"GO NOW!" Tom shouted.

As Mike and Scratch made it into the tunnel they heard gunfire behind them , several shots were fired then silence. Tom had paid the ultimate price, he had sacrificed his own life for his comrades.

This was the the story of Mike Richards the son of a Stonemason from Leeds. Whose life was thrown into chaos by the actions of an evil regime that had now claimed the life of his best friend Tom.

More to come in the form of an epilogue to the story so far. This will be posted later today.

Please try and comment on this if you get time today, I know that many people were looking forward to an epic war but I never intended to tell such a story.

This is what the title says it is, "Mikes Story" I hope you like it.

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Old November 10, 2002, 05:48   #79
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Wow, big action ending. I thought they'd let Scratchy snipe catherine since he's a crack shot.

As for the epilogue, you might wanna keep Jess's whereabouts a secret so there's room for a sequel. I got an idea for it (a proper idea , not the previous dumb ones I posted before).
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Old November 10, 2002, 08:47   #80
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Epilogue.

Twelve months had passed by ever so quickly Mike thought to himself. He had been made the commander of the garrison of Leeds after the short lived Russian Revolution. He himself had been awarded the "Elizabeth Cross" as had Tom his fallen comrade, Scratch who was now sporting a wooden lower right leg had been awarded "The British Empire Cross" for his distinguished service to the Commonwealth.

Mikes parents were in the congregation today, a proud day for their son. A memorial was being unveiled in leeds main square by Mike today to commemorate all those who had fallen in struggle for Leeds and elsewhere. The whole garrison was on parade in their finest uniforms to hear their commander speak.

"Let us remember before God, those who have died for their country in war!, those whom we knew, and whose memory we treasure. And all who have lived and died in the service of others." Mike said then paused for a while,
"They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old. Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them."

For now there was a peace in the world, although more fragile than ever before. The expectations of the British government had all come to pass and New England had been returned to the British in full. The Prime Minister now into his second term thanked Mike for his and his comrades bravery and continued with his speech.

As Mike turned to go back to his seat he noticed a woman in the crowds staring at him, A beautiful tall slim woman with long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes!

(Added text after completion)
Mike could not make out her features for sure, a knot formed in his stomach, could it be Jess?. If you want to find out for sure you will have to keep your eyes peeled for a sequel. Stay tuned because Scratch and I have got some ideas!!

THE END
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Old November 10, 2002, 08:52   #81
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Hope my epilogue doesnt spoil youre idea scratch and Ive given you a wooden leg. Now all you need to do is train a parrot to sit on your shoulder and crap down your back and you can join the pirates.
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Old November 10, 2002, 09:58   #82
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisiusMaximus
As Mike turned to go back to his seat he noticed a woman in the crowds staring at him, A beautiful tall slim woman with long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes!
Only two lines about Jess?
Whatelse, a great story!
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Old November 10, 2002, 10:48   #83
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Thank you Nym glad you liked it.
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Old November 10, 2002, 14:11   #84
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Well, Chrisius, a very nice ending. But then, of course, you realize the consequences of giving Vovan the role you did - I'll have to find a proper place for you in my story

Otherwise, great stuff
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Old November 10, 2002, 14:16   #85
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Im just glad to see your still alive man! one gets so caught up in what one is writing it gets hard to distingiush reality from fiction.

Thanks for your unending support vovansim,
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Old November 10, 2002, 23:44   #86
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I agree with Nymrod that that last line of the most legendary story in the history of civilization was a bit of a let-down. It's makes a sequel a bit harder to manage but it's still quite possible to work out. Anyways, I was glad that vovan went down in a hail of lead. I'm thinking now if there's a way of introducing him into my story to be "rubbed" as you put it (but don't count on it).

frogface says "Yeah! Rub out that vovan dude!"
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Old November 11, 2002, 03:08   #87
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Thanks again for your input Scratch, you didnt say whether you like the leg idea.

I think that Nym was only expressing his saddness at not finding out more about Jess. Sorry if it spoils your enjoyment of the whole story.

The point that you may have missed is that the woman in the crowd may not be Jess, it certainly does not confirm this in the text. My intention was to leave you wondering who she is, is that Jess?

Hope this explanation helps, also Scratch Id be interested to hear your ideas for this sequel you mentioned. Maybe you could PM me and we can share some thoughts.
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Old November 11, 2002, 13:29   #88
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One more thing that I would like to point out, ChrisiusMaximus. In the last couple of chapters, you started making similar mistakes the the ones in the beginning. Your spelling was good, and punctuation in most cases also, but the lack of apostrophes made the story a little hard to read. Words like don't, aren't, and such are fine, but when you omit one in the abbreviation we're, that gets a little confusing.

I am, however looking forward to the next time you decide to write. We are all just getting better with every story, and if you were able to produce something cool like this at your first try, imagine what you could do next time.
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Old November 11, 2002, 13:53   #89
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Thanks vovan
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Old November 11, 2002, 18:29   #90
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I was thinking of making a mystery story out of it. I got some ideas, but if you're the writer you can cook up your own tale.

Wooden leg? Dude, I'll take a real one anyday.
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