Hilarious AI Quotes - Page 4

Naiveplayer · December 11, 2002, 02:14

"Mao, it is said that a friend is a pearl beyond price. Sounds good to me. Could you sign this contract?" - Lincoln getting me to sign a MPP/ROP agreement.

"Well, we were just dropping by to borrow a cup of rice. But if you're going to take THAT attitude, we will leave at once!"

A couple of funny quotes I stumbled upon.

Mad Bomber · December 11, 2002, 18:58

MrMitchell wrote:

Quote:

I would prefer to see the speech happening, because for some reason it's funnier in the game than it is in a text file.

and this post proves his point

Quote:

Originally posted by justjake73
Taken directly from diplomacy.txt:

"What the world needs now, $PLAYER0, is love: sweet love. Will you extend our peace treaty?"

"My generals inform me that your cute little soldiers have wandered into $CIVADJ6 territory near $CITY3. I trust that they will clean up after themselves when they leave?"

"I'm sorry, $PLAYER0, but I'm refinishing all of the bathrooms in the Winter Palace, and $CIVNAME5 has nothing to spare."

"Convey my regrets to $CIVNAME1, please. We're poorer than a blind drunkard in a crooked poker game.".....

"$CIVNAME3 will not deal with a liar and a treaty-breaker, $PLAYER0. Go now before I create a diplomatic incident on your head with this large rock!"

King_Henry · December 11, 2002, 20:58

Once when I asked the Celts for a loan of gold and Brennus' reply was something like "I'm sorry, but we are saving up our money for a more religious purpose. Bring on the alcohol!"

mrmitchell · December 11, 2002, 21:32

Quote:

Originally posted by Mad Bomber

and this post proves his point

Mad, as soon as I saw the first few words of the second quote I quickly ignored the post as I saw that it was up to no good.

"All your base are belong to us!"

mrmitchell · February 23, 2003, 14:29

"Mother Russia welcomes you, Joan d'Arc. Are you here only to admire my great beauty, or is there some other purpose to your visit?"

Jahi · February 23, 2003, 16:31

the domestic advisor once told me (at 3am) "sleep is for the weak!"

mrmitchell · February 23, 2003, 20:54

Also, it's funny when they capture cities and don't rename them. This has resulted in:

Killtherussianbastards, owned by Russia
Russia Sucks!, owned by Russia
Spanisharelosers, owned by Spain

and countless more.

badams52 · February 23, 2003, 23:34

Just saw one on the victory screen I hadn't seen before: "Well I can't be blamed. I never even met you!"

Master Zen · February 24, 2003, 02:32

Quote:

Originally posted by Andrew1999
I got "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" from my Trade Advisor once. Any one else seen this?

Probably worked at the QuikStop before joining your cabinet!

(BTW, actually I haven't seen this)

The Mad Monk · February 24, 2003, 04:11

Quote:

Originally posted by miccofl
This had to be seen to be believed… Is it just me, or could Hannibal be a bearded lady?

I don't know but I swear he's trying a come-on when he's 'polite'.

Vlad Antlerkov · February 24, 2003, 07:48

Spec · February 24, 2003, 11:39

Quote:

Originally posted by Pyrodrew

You've destroyed the Chinese Empire, but you didn't kill the Chinese Leader, Mao. Mao will still be involved in diplomacy & discussions until he's dead. Mao hides in the last unit alive, so if there is a small boat sailing away from China... that's Mao getting away.

Wrong, not in the last unit nut in the last settler!

Spec.

Stuie · February 24, 2003, 12:42

Quote:

Originally posted by Andrew1999
I got "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" from my Trade Advisor once. Any one else seen this?

Yes!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing. It's the only valuable thing she's ever said.

And to be exact, I think it's displayed as:

"I'm not even supposed to be here today."

mrmitchell · February 25, 2003, 10:43

Could be...
---
"Excuse me Joan, is that a French hobo near Madrid?"

It'd only be funny if later the bastards didn't declare war on me and sign out alliances with everything...

Chemical Ollie · February 27, 2003, 20:06

Problems to handle paperwork already in ancient time, have we?

Naiveplayer · February 27, 2003, 20:42

Seen that before, but I've never scaled a demand in the ancient ages before with Egypt. It was in the modern ages for that.

Hee hee - what paperwork, Cleo? The papyrus?

At Civilization Fanatics' Center, there were a couple of screenshot of the day's posted with quotes "Sleep is for the weak" by science advisor and "Are you trying to make me go berserk?!" by the Vikings and "Compared to you, most AIs have the IQ of a carrot" once again by the science advisor.

Chemical Ollie · February 28, 2003, 07:30

Quote:

Originally posted by Olaf Hårfagre
Problems to handle paperwork already in ancient time, have we?

Now when I think of it, the game was actually already in the middle ages, but it's still funny.

Naiveplayer · February 28, 2003, 19:29

You were in the middle ages, but obviously Egypt had not yet researched/bought the techs in the ancient ages.

Chemical Ollie · February 28, 2003, 19:50

Quote:

Originally posted by Naiveplayer
You were in the middle ages, but obviously Egypt had not yet researched/bought the techs in the ancient ages.

No, they were in the middle ages too, as they were the leading civ. Look at the picture. Looks like medieval clothing to me...

mrmitchell · March 1, 2003, 13:28

It's papyruswork

Chemical Ollie · March 1, 2003, 19:19

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmitchell
It's papyruswork

Chemical Ollie · March 1, 2003, 22:04

The power of poetry?

badams52 · March 1, 2003, 22:19

Hmm, I recognize that game...AU 206 if I'm not mistaken

Chemical Ollie · March 1, 2003, 23:26

Quote:

Originally posted by badams52
Hmm, I recognize that game...AU 206 if I'm not mistaken

mrmitchell · March 2, 2003, 00:13

Mao, you must have a deep inner poet inside you...

(Don't quit your day job.)

Thirgaral · March 2, 2003, 12:37

Here you go...enjoy....

"You have chosen wisely, Alexander. Your people should be grateful - if a bit poorer."

"My generals inform me that your cute little soldiers have wandered into French territory near Paris. I trust that they will clean up after themselves when they leave?"

"Are you aware that a large group of English warriors are approaching Berlin? If I were you I'd have that general beaten with wooden clubs until he learns how to read a map properly!"

"Certainly, but it will cost you an arm and a leg..."

"As long as you promise not to repay us in glass beads, Hiawatha! We're onto that trick!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm refinishing all of the bathrooms in the Winter Palace, and England has nothing to spare."

"Our coffers are as empty as your head, Hiawatha."

"I apologize, but the gods have mandated that I lend money only to someone who isn't a gross, disgusting cretin."

"Hmmm. Come to think of it, your tiny civilization has little that we want. So we'll agree to peace. Until you get something worth fighting over."

"Excellent. The streets will run red with the blood of your warriors."

There´s a lot more but this is all I could manage writing for now....

TheArsenal · March 3, 2003, 18:04

Not so much a Civ leader, but I was amused in a recent game when my advisor told me the Germans "Betrayed our friends the Spanish" (or something like that) about three turns after I removed Spain from the map.

steven8r · March 7, 2003, 12:45

Quote:

Originally posted by Carver
Military advisor while looking at my largest of armies "Hail to the King, Baby".

An unexpected touch with PTW.

Here's a screen shot of it!

Although I don't know what he's upset about.....

justjake73 · March 7, 2003, 15:13

Quote:

Not so much a Civ leader, but I was amused in a recent game when my advisor told me the Germans "Betrayed our friends the Spanish" (or something like that) about three turns after I removed Spain from the map.

My last full game, my FA said several times that "we know that the Japanese betrayed our friends the Aztecs."

This after my "Aztec friends" had declared war on me twice, and the Japanese had been my friends for ages.

Chemical Ollie · March 7, 2003, 18:03

Great news, huh?