Column by Lazarus and the Gimp

Bugs ****ing Bunny · November 12, 2002, 15:33

(This column is subtitled "If you want something to get done- do it yourself".)

The hierarchy of Civ needs

Getting academic theories across to an audience can be tricky, but it always helps if you can use something off-the-wall and fun as an example to place things in context. That way, even the most cerebral of works can be firmly grounded in a memorable, earthy context.

Take the works of Maslow, for example. Abraham Maslow was one of life's bright sparks. He could have served up a brain banquet to all the professors in the western world's universities and still have enough grey matter left over to slap out cortex kebabs for them as they lurched out looking for a snog and a fight. He is hailed as the father of humanist psychology, and his best-known work is his "hierarchy of needs". This was an attempt to rationalise and establish precedence in the many aims and ambitions we all have.

At this moment you're probably sitting slack-jawed and making vague "Huh?" noises of bemusement. Don't worry- it's a natural reaction to being deluged in Academo-babble. Let me attempt to place this in a context you'll appreciate.

Think of the start of a civ game- the first few turns. Your lone settler is gawping at the scenery, scratching his arse and starting to wonder if his vital organs will be viewing a barbarian's colon from the inside with 24 hours. He's going to die unless his immediate needs are satisfied. To be blunt, his attitude is "Stuff philosophy. I want some food and somewhere warm to sleep". Who can blame him? Get out there and build him a farm! He's not going to discover the alphabet if his little loincloth is hiding a nasty case of frostbite gangrene and he's eating worms, is he? This, of course, demonstrates that higher goals are impossible dreams if your most basic physiological needs aren't satisfied.

OK- our little settler is now belching contedly and admiring his lovely little hovel. Suddenly he remembers those barbarians, and he starts wondering if he's going to be the next spit-roast in the vicinity. Now his goal becomes safety, so get that mouse clicking and build him a city wall and a barracks. If feeling particularly generous, research Warrior Code. I've never quite worked out what that was, but I think it's the art of waving swords around while wearing a sort of big dress. Like a girl. Your loyal little citizens will be quite happy working on these tasks, but should their basic physiological needs get neglected they'll drop their pointy sticks and run screaming back to the farm with spades in hand.

That's a vital principle- threaten a basic need, and more advanced goals will suffer more. Anyway, assuming that disaster doesn't stike and your Civ game is going fairly smoothly at this point, you can start looking at more advanced goals beyond safety needs. Maslow's next stage was "love and belonging needs". This doesn't mean that you'll be researching waterbeds and love-eggs (unless Sid pays any attention to my suggestions to Civ 4, that is), but you do have an option to build churches and work on your theology- all factors aimed to produce a strong sense of community and "belonging". SMAC had a few obviously pleasure-oriented improvements too, where presumably your drones would be pacified by inter-faction mud-wrestling and mindworm erotica. Neglect these needs and your citizens will start shouting and throwing stuff at you, so avoid grief by getting them entertained and loved-up.

Now we're getting to the highbrow stuff. Your citizens are getting a little jaded by TV and Church, and the fights down at the Colosseum just aren't as entertainingly bloody as they used to be. So they've gone and discovered angst. The backs of their hands are permanently fixed to their brows in slightly camp expressions of theatrical woe as they contemplate their place in your world. We're into the highest stages of Maslow's hierarchy now, the "esteem needs", the need to have aspirations and self-esteem. The sort of urges that make you do dreadful things like taking up correspondence courses or attempting to sit through a Bergman movie. Be a good little despot and build them Universities, Stock Exchanges and Cures for Cancer to bathe their troubled souls in a rosy glow of spiritual well-being. But remember! If the food runs out, or barbarians start breaking down their doors and criticising their curtains, they'll revert back to savagery in a nanosecond.

Finally, at the very apex of the hierarchy are the transcendental needs. In SMAC terms that's easy. Just build "Threashhold of Transcendance" and your people will apparently all end up sat about in floaty robes wearing vague smiles like a bunch of eminently slappable smug gits. Civ doesn't do this sort of thing, but presumably beyond the limits of the gameplay there's a theoretical point where all your citizen's goals are achieved. I like to define that as the moment where your poor beleagured settler finally gets to lay down his hand-plough and gets a job as a quality control inspector in a zero-gravity breast factory.

And that's Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You guessed it- I'm going to be running a training session on Maslow and I'm going to do it by getting them all playing Civ. Expect to hear of my promotion or sacking very soon.

Pavlov · November 12, 2002, 15:37

*applause* Great column!

Ming · November 12, 2002, 16:03

Quote:

Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
I'm going to be running a training session on Maslow and I'm going to do it by getting them all playing Civ. Expect to hear of my promotion or sacking very soon.

Congratulations on your upcoming promotion

DarkCloud · November 12, 2002, 23:46

notyoueither · November 13, 2002, 01:03

Quite good.

ixnay · November 13, 2002, 01:40

CapitanGarlic · November 13, 2002, 01:46

Good stuff.

Frozzy · November 13, 2002, 03:43

I hate to bring tautology to the thread, but...

Great Work

Alex · November 13, 2002, 07:06

Ooh, excellent column!

I hope it will be included in the "Column" section one day...

Gangerolf · November 13, 2002, 08:20

Skanky Burns · November 13, 2002, 09:48

Very nice column.

Unspeakable Horror · November 13, 2002, 11:08

Good work

Bugs ****ing Bunny · November 13, 2002, 15:58

Right- I see that the column number has been edited out of the thread title.

That's just being petty, boys. That's being really petty.

Ming · November 13, 2002, 16:05

Don't look at me... I didn't do it.

MarkG · November 13, 2002, 16:10

you have every right to post your article since we havent posted it yet.

but you have no right to act as the publisher of the Column without our permission. and please edit the title of your post accordingly.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · November 13, 2002, 16:14

It's a genuine pleasure submitting work to you Markos.

My action was prompted by the fact that you seemed to have contracted a disease that left you incapable of answering enquiries. Or publishing columns.

MarkG · November 13, 2002, 16:20

again, you had no right to do it. please fix your post.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · November 13, 2002, 16:30

You want to rub my nose in it?

Bugs ****ing Bunny · November 13, 2002, 16:45

Right, it's done. Can I make a suggestion? I heard that you were revamping the column submission process, so how about including the following guidelines?

"We reserve the right to sit on submissions for months on end, and treat tentative enquiries as to their whereabouts with casual disdain. However please don't attempt to put them forward as some sort of semi-official publication yourself, because it makes us feel threatened, and we'll get bureaucratic on your arse. Remember who's the boss, peasant."

It'll clarify people's expectations, you see. If you think that's too wordy, just cut it down to "Apolyton cannot rule out the possibility of you falling foul of someone with all the people skills of a ****ing anvil."

Skanky Burns · November 13, 2002, 17:46

Come now Markos. Thats just petty.

H Tower · November 13, 2002, 18:07

Quote:

Originally posted by Ming
Don't look at me... I didn't do it.

is there an opinion on what happened hiding below that statement too?

Great article Laz

Too bad it won't get the wide readership it should .

Hueij · November 13, 2002, 19:11

I guess that's the end of The Column then. No one will ever submit another one...

Rasbelin · November 13, 2002, 19:26

Hey, cheer up!

The Column isn't dead. it's just in hibernation. There's at least 4-5 writings in the queue awaiting to be published and I'm sure there's more to come (don't ask me who's going to write more, but I know the answer

). The little birds sing me that there's no schedule for when The Column will be back again, but honestly I would say later this year. That's just my personal guess that isn't based on any information from birds, cows, wombats or tarantulas.

DarkCloud · November 13, 2002, 23:12

...Have you considered Lazarus, that he wanted to get together a large amount of columnns, then submit them all at once?

Although personally I would have posted them as they came...

But at least I understand Mark's reasoning if that was his reason- that is your reason mark, was it not?

Dauphin · November 13, 2002, 23:14

If it was he could have just said so. Rather than string it out without comment.

Skanky Burns · November 13, 2002, 23:32

Replying to PMs does wonders to let others know what you plan. Even if he was planning that, responding to one of Laz's PMs would have prevented this entire debacle. Not having a just after Laz had posted this thread would have also prevented this entire debacle.

ravagon · November 13, 2002, 23:48

Entertaining as always.

MarkG · November 14, 2002, 04:57

Thank you for the edit.

As for your insults and your sarcasm i'll just say that we do our best. If you ever find yourself in a position(responsibilities, workload, financial compensation) similar to mine and do the job better, feel free to send me a note.

Robert Plomp · November 14, 2002, 07:00

Quote:

If you ever find yourself in a position(responsibilities, workload, financial compensation) similar to mine and do the job better, feel free to send me a note.

here I am.
I'm running several sites, and yes, some of them are delayed in upgrading, but I do not treat any of my users like you do in this case again.

Nobody gave any negative commentary to you for not posting colums, Lazarus didn't give any complains about why he had to post it this way. He just posted it.

All you did was making clear that Lazarus didn't do it the right way, had no right to do this and blablablabla.

There are better ways to solve this,
but again you do it in the "I'm the boss and you all listen to what I say" way.

I've said it a million times before,
- 99% of the people are in awe of the way you create / manage this website
- 99% of the people are ok with those few delays
- 99% of the people are ok with the fact that you make the decisions
- 99% of the people are thinking you're doing a great job
- much people are very annoyed by your arrogance and the way you make clear all the time that you are the boss, and how wrong other people are.

Why not just take a look at yourself, and just change that! It's not hard! You can still be the boss and the decision master, but just in a kind nice way.

And again I know I'm banging with my head against a wall. It's a pitty that you do not want to listen.

CyberShy

edit: spelling

Rasbelin · November 14, 2002, 07:04

@ CS