December 12, 2002, 18:18
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#31
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Prince
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 375
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There's a fire (or similar incident) at Moe's:
Someone: Everyone make for the exit
Barney: There's an exit?
Bart: I could go to sleep and never wake up again
Grandpa: Welcome to my world
Bart: Dad, we preferred your half-assed approach to under-parenting to your half-assed approach to over-parenting
Homer: But I'm using my whole ass
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December 12, 2002, 18:25
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#32
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Chieftain
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: May 2002
Location: England
Posts: 81
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Simpsons quotes, eh?
"sure, i'll just write it up on my invisible typewriter" - Chief Wiggum after being told about Stampy.
"Dad, what religion are you?"
"You know the one with all the good meaning stuff that doesnt work out in real life"
"Christianity?"
"ooh, a sarcasm monitor. That's a really great invention" - comic book store guy
"Ah great, mormons" - homer on opening the door to 2 aliens.
"Homer Simpson smiling politely" - Homer when meeting Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins.
"Ahoi hoi?" - Burns answering the phone.
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December 12, 2002, 18:48
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#33
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Emperor
Local Time: 14:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,512
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Someone here at Poly used to have a Simpson qutoe in his sig., which I thought was extremely good (see if I can remember it):
Mr. Burns: "Exploitation and opression are a moderate price to live in the land of free."
__________________
"The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
"Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.
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December 12, 2002, 19:00
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#34
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 3,361
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Marge- "You've turned our town into a trash-hole!"
Homer- "Ix-nay on the Ash-hole-tray."
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December 12, 2002, 19:07
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#35
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Emperor
Local Time: 14:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,512
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I'm sorry to invade again. I can't remember a sequence well, which I thought was very funny.
It was Sunday School and the kids asked questions like:
Kid1: "Can my guinee-pig "Mel" go to heaven when it's dead?"
Teacher: "No."
Kid2: Can my baby brother who hasn't been baptized before death go to heaven?"
Teacher: "No."
etc.
Finally Bart says something like:
"If you kill your family with an axe, rape your grandmother etc. etc. but in the last second of your life confess, can you go to heaven?"
Teacher: "Bart, how often have I told you? Yes, of course!"
Can someone enlighten me how this sequence really was? Sorry for my a little bit fuzzy way to express myself here.
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"The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
"Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.
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December 12, 2002, 19:11
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#36
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Emperor
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: All Glory To The Hypnotoad!
Posts: 4,223
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Marge: Homer! There's a man here who says he can help you!
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
__________________
If I'm posting here then Counterglow must be down.
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December 12, 2002, 19:21
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#37
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Paragon of Virtue
Posts: 3,626
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End of Treehouse of Horror XI
Kang: Can you believe it, Kodos? They left us out of the Halloween show!
Kodos: Are you sure the space phone is working?
(Kang tries it)
Kodos: Hang up, they could be trying to call right now!
Kang: I knew we should have sent them a muffin basket...
(The phone rings. Kodos answers.)
Kodos: Kang and Kodos Productions... uh-huh... yes... just a second...
(He covers the mouthpiece.)
Kodos: Do we want to do a commercial for something called "Old Navy?"
Kang: (shrugs) Ehh, work is work...
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December 12, 2002, 19:27
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#38
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Warlord
Local Time: 07:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Chairman & CEO, Dallas Oil Company
Posts: 142
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"Hello, Smithers. You're quite good, and turning me on!"
- computer-generated Mr. Burns on Smithers' PC
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"People sit in chairs!" - Bobby Baccalieri
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December 12, 2002, 19:33
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#39
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Emperor
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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Homer, singing with glee:
"I am so smart, S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T"
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December 12, 2002, 19:53
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#40
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Warlord
Local Time: 07:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Chairman & CEO, Dallas Oil Company
Posts: 142
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"C'mon, Bart, remember what Vince Lombardi said: if you lose, you're outta the family!" - Homer
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"People sit in chairs!" - Bobby Baccalieri
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December 12, 2002, 20:04
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#41
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Prince
Local Time: 04:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Call me KOTA
Posts: 365
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"Ouch! What is that strange sensation?"
"I believe your heart is beating again, sir"
Smithers and Mr. Burns after Mr. Burns gets hit by lightning.
"Mom, the medication made my testicles swell up."
"Bart, stop being silly and give back the oranges"
And Marge puts the oranges into the lunchbags.
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I'm going to rub some stakes on my face and pour beer on my chest while I listen Guns'nRoses welcome to the jungle and watch porno. Lesbian porno.
Supercitzen Pekka
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December 12, 2002, 20:06
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#42
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Emperor
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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paraphrase
Ralph: Teacher the worm accidently jumped in my mouth and I ate it. Can I have another?
Teacher: No Ralph, just put you head down and go to sleep.
Ralph: Yeah, that's where I'm a Viking!
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December 12, 2002, 20:36
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#43
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Warlord
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Manchester, England. Im 1/2 Polish and proud of it!
Posts: 144
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Head Stonecutter: "Now lets all get drunk and play Ping Pong"
Homer: "That does it. If im going to be trapped inside the house all day, i've got to go out and get some beer"
Homer: (buying Illegal Fireworks) "Lets see, i'll take a porno Mag,mmmm Box of condoms, bottle of Jack Daniels...and some illegal fireworks"
Later on Marge is unpacking the shopping
Marge: "Homer, I don't know what you have planned for tonight, but count me out"
__________________
"I know not with what weapons WWIII will be fought with, but WWIV will be fought with sticks & stones". Albert Einstein
"To Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problems"- Homer Simpson
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December 12, 2002, 20:41
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#44
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Emperor
Local Time: 07:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: mmmm sweet
Posts: 3,041
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Ralph Wiggum: "I sleep in a drawer!"
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December 12, 2002, 20:54
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#45
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,412
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Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food!
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Tutto nel mondo è burla
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December 12, 2002, 21:03
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#46
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Emperor
Local Time: 07:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: May 2001
Location: flying too low to the ground
Posts: 4,625
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food!
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my cats name is mittens.
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"I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it. We have to leave this place, I am almost happy here."
- Ender, from Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
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December 12, 2002, 21:08
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#47
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Warlord
Local Time: 08:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 236
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Ralph: "...and when the doctor told me I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life."
Lisa picking football games for Homer to gamble on at Moe's
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December 12, 2002, 21:30
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#48
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Local Time: 07:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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In one of the Halloween episodes, The Homega man. Comic book store owner is walking down the street when the Nuclear missiles land:
"Oh, I wasted my life..."
Vaporized......
 ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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December 13, 2002, 05:48
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#49
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King
Local Time: 08:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Kabul, baby!
Posts: 2,876
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Not nearly enough Grandpa on this thread, so...
"I used to be with it... and then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it is weird and scary to me."
"I wore an onion on my belt, which was the fashion at that time..."
"In those days, there were bees on the nickel. 'Gimme two bees for a dime,' we'd say..."
"The year was 19-ought-3; the president, the divine Miss Sarah Bernhardt."
"This was back in 19-dickety-5. We had to say 'dickety' because the Kaiser had stolen our word for "zero.'"
Grandpa (carrying wooden stake and mallet): We must kill the boy!
Lisa: Grandpa? How did you know Bart was a vampire?
Grandpa: Bart's a vampire? Aaaaagh! (runs from room
__________________
"If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?"— George Carlin
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December 13, 2002, 06:23
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#50
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King
Local Time: 14:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bubblewrap
Posts: 2,032
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From the "Who shot mr. Burns" episode, after Smither apologized for shooting Jasper(the old guy with the beard) in his wooden leg,
Jasper: You shot who in the what now?
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<Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
Play Bumps! No, wait, play Slings!
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December 13, 2002, 10:18
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#51
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Prince
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 375
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Homer (lying on sofa, beer on belly, watching TV, when the phone rings)
Homer: Marge. Maaarge? Kids
(picks up remote and points at phone, pressing buttons furiously)
"There must be something on this thing for that thing"
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December 13, 2002, 10:39
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#52
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Emperor
Local Time: 14:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: CLOWNS WIT DA DOWNS 4 LIFE YO!
Posts: 5,301
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"Let's see now, I'm a Freemason, a Moose, a Communist, president of Gay and Lesbian association for some reason..."
-- Grandpa
"My Homer is not a communist. He might be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star."
-- Grandpa
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"Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
"That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world
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December 13, 2002, 10:42
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#53
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King
Local Time: 13:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: International crime fighting playboy
Posts: 1,063
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Who is that fellow, I like the cut of his jib.
Monty Burns on seeing the devil.
We'll be as rich as Nazis
Private M. Burns
__________________
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams (Influential author)
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December 13, 2002, 10:43
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#54
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Settler
Local Time: 05:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 0
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"Flintstones chewable morphine."
(repeated ad nauseam) "Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?"
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December 13, 2002, 10:44
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#55
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: here
Posts: 8,349
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Oooh... I feel all funny... I'm in love! No, wait, it's a stroke.
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"My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
"Strange is it that our bloods, of colour, weight, and heat, pour'd all together, would quite confound distinction, yet stand off in differences so mighty." --William Shakespeare
"The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud
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December 13, 2002, 11:15
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#56
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Warlord
Local Time: 08:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 236
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"Exxxxxcellent"
-Mr. Burns
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December 13, 2002, 11:21
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#57
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Warlord
Local Time: 08:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 236
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I can't believe I forgot this one!
"Listen to me you. When I catch you I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your PANTS, so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, ok?! Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat."
-Pissed off Moe on the phone
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December 13, 2002, 12:13
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#58
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Emperor
Local Time: 12:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 3,521
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LOL....
Amanda Huginkiss.
__________________
"Just puttin on the foil" - Jeff Hanson
“In a democracy, I realize you don’t need to talk to the top leader to know how the country feels. When I go to a dictatorship, I only have to talk to one person and that’s the dictator, because he speaks for all the people.” - Jimmy Carter
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December 13, 2002, 12:19
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#59
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King
Local Time: 07:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Constantly giggling as I type my posts.
Posts: 1,735
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(I'm not sure of the exact quote)
Burns is talking about being a dog or somthing.
Burns: If I were humping your leg and sniffing your crouch, whouldn't you feel the same way?
Smithers: Ummm.... if it were you sir?
I also liked the part when the camera was zoming in on Burns watching his wall of tvs while playing the Imperial March song from Star Wars.
Troy McClore (I can't spell his last name), on some special.
Troy: And now the moment you've all be waiting for. FULL HARDCORE NUDITY!!!!!!!!
Homer: Can you say Daddy? Say Da-ddy.
Bart: Homer
Homer: No, Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Why you little! (grabs Bart).
Mr. Burns running over people in his car.
Burn: Out of my way! I'm a mortorist.
__________________
I drink to one other, and may that other be he, to drink to another, and may that other be me!
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December 13, 2002, 12:41
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#60
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King
Local Time: 14:30
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bubblewrap
Posts: 2,032
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"I wanna Seymour Butts"...or something like that, can't remember the exact phrase used.
Bart calling Moe off course 
__________________
<Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
Play Bumps! No, wait, play Slings!
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