Most unbelievable goof ups you've said to someone

Bereta_Eder · December 22, 2002, 08:13

Me walking back to a dorm with a Japanese girl.

The streets were COMPLETELY empty.

Me saying: It's like an atomic bomb has fallen on this place...

FrustratedPoet · December 22, 2002, 08:17

oh ... my ... god.

I've done the "When's the baby due?" thing when meeting an acquaintance who looked seriously pregnant, only to be told "Harry's 6 months old now."

Provost Harrison · December 22, 2002, 08:45

I know there was one when I could have died but I can't remember what it is. Like 'Where In Scotland Are You From?' to someone I was talking to for half an hour. He replied 'Belfast'

Datajack Franit · December 22, 2002, 09:20

To my economics teacher: "Of course you don't want to give us homeworks because you surely will spend your hoildays with your husband"
Teacher : "My husband died 4 years ago! *laugh*"

SpencerH · December 22, 2002, 10:41

Quote:

Originally posted by Provost Harrison
I know there was one when I could have died but I can't remember what it is. Like 'Where In Scotland Are You From?' to someone I was talking to for half an hour. He replied 'Belfast'

If an american had said that, it would be a goof up. For an englishman its unbelievable.

JohnT · December 22, 2002, 11:56

This isn't exactly a goof-up, but I did once say, to the most hated person in my life,

"The only reason I won't be pissing on your grave is that I detest standing in line!"

Jon Miller · December 22, 2002, 11:59

I have many many of these

often they are where I say the exact opposite of what I mean to say

it just comes out wrong

Jon Miller

Boris Godunov · December 22, 2002, 12:11

Giving a speech when I was running for Finance Committee Chair my sophomore year of college. I was unopposed, so I just got up and winged some brief remarks. A big issue was that a lot of people were complaining about there being nothing to do on campus or nearby. I got up and gave a list of lots of things in the vicinity to go to, ending with, "If you can walk, you can go do all these things!"

Just then my eyes locked on a group of girls who couldn't walk and went around in motorized wheelchairs. Oooooooooooooooohboy. I stammered out "or...or even if you, um, can't..." People laughed, I finished up lamely and sat down. Later I talked to the girls and they thought it was funny, but I was still embarrassed.

The only other thing I can think of was one Christmas vacation when I was home from college, I answered the phone and a woman asked for my mom. I explained she was at work, and the woman said she was my mom's cousin and was calling about my great aunt. I asked if I could take a message, so she said "Well, I wanted to tell her that Jean had died, we found her yesterday at home."

Stunned, I blurted out, "Oh my God, you're kidding!"

Pause.

"No, I'm afraid not," says my mom's cousin, who laughs a little nervously. I silently kick myself 3 dozen times.

Inverse Icarus · December 22, 2002, 12:33

most of my friends are white, but there are a few minorities amoung us, a few blacks and a cople of asians. one of the kids is 1/8 puerto-rican.

anyway, ethnic slurs in our little group run rampant. we just do it for some reason. i'm polish/german/irish, so i'm a polack nazi drunk. there's some chinese, black, japanese, and hispanic, so fill in the slurs yourselves.

there are a few VERY black neighborhoods on long island and while we were in one (theres a shopping center there) i muttered the phrase "nigga pleeeease" and had about a hundred eyes on me. my friend must have known what i was feeling and made some humorous anti-white comment (somehting about a honkey) and we walked out safely.

yea.

another thing i used to say was "it cures cancer in lab rats", whenever i was speaking well of something. like, "civ 3 rocks man. the resource system is a great addition. it's been found to cure cancer in lab rats." you know. hyperbole.

well, one day, i had some kettle korn for the first time. and, it rocked. so i went on my rant about the cancer in lab rats bit, and my friend who apparently never heard me use the phrase goes "really?! cause my mom just found out she has ovarian cancer."

erm. haven't used that phrase in a while.

i dont remember what i said but i ended up telling my little brother there is no santa/god in one swooping argument with my mom. good sh*t.

Az · December 22, 2002, 16:49

great stories. I know I've said lots of crap, but I can't pinpoint a case right now.

Clear Skies · December 22, 2002, 16:51

My friend was talking about wanting to be a primary school teacher and declaimed in the middle of a crowded supermarket 'because I have a strange attraction to young children'.

She later claimed she meant 'for' young children.

She then stopped digging a hole and admitted that the sentence had sounded better inside her head than out.

Stefu · December 22, 2002, 16:55

Me, to a geography teacher: "Your hair looks like a cheap wig." (I swear, it wasn't meant as an insult, just an observation!)

Then she told me she had had a cancer.

I didn't get along with that teacher too well after that.

mrboo123 · December 22, 2002, 17:08

DAMN!

Az · December 22, 2002, 17:13

I got one...

Me and a couple of my friends at the uni are sitting before lecture starts. She is a the representative of our simester at the students' union. We talk about some petition to delay the chemistry test, and then she lists all the people who haven't signed. We needed to get the signatures of everyone in the course, to get this motion passed. So she lists "harasita", among other names. I have no idea why, but I start going on a vicious attack on the girl, because 'hara' means 'sh!t' in hebrew. So I start off with this stupid monologue:

"Harasita? what kinda name is that anyway?
Her parents must have really hated her to give her a name such as this. "
that friend of mine, and another couple of my friends start to laugh.
"Why the **** didn't you put on a condom?! " I start immitiating Harasita's mother.
Everyone bursts in laughter. It was probably in the way I said it.
Everyone laughs. I feel real bad about myself, and cover my face in shame.

Now's the real interesting part. That girl sat behind me, a couple of lines back. Now she got real pissed, and of course didn't sign the motion to postpone the test.

loinburger · December 22, 2002, 19:09

I once called my high school english teacher a "luscious wench" during Medieval Fest. She was not amused.

Paul Hanson · December 22, 2002, 19:28

From a conversation I had at my college presentation evening last Thursday:

Me: Hi, Sarah
Sarah: Hi. Oh, I changed my e-mail address, it's now blah@blah.blah.uk (as if I'd let you lot know

)
Me: Oh, so that's why you haven't replied to my e-mails since August. And I thought you were just being plain rude.

The fact of the matter is that she probably was ignoring me, and you know how people hate it when you realise things like that.

Immortal Wombat · December 22, 2002, 19:33

Could you please edit out my email address. blah.blah.uk is a very exclusive domain. I don't need spam.
Thankyou.

David Floyd · December 22, 2002, 19:35

Well, I do this kind of thing all the time. First a bit of background. My friends and I like to make racial jokes. We don't mean anything by them, we just think they're funny, and we don't think anything of it.

So one of my friends and I are sitting at a pizza place a couple of months back, and he blurts out this incredibly racist joke about Hispanics, pretty loudly. Of course, every table around us was full of Hispanics, unfortunately enough

I noticed this, of course, but true to form (I'm sorta the guy that can take anything someone says and say something much, much worse) I responded with an even worse racial joke, naturally about Hispanics.

I got a few odd looks, but I was just laughing my ass off. Needless to say, we finished eating pretty quickly.

Yeah, yeah, I'm such an ass. I'm really not a racist though, but who cares. Deal with it

Paul Hanson · December 22, 2002, 19:41

Quote:

Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
Could you please edit out my email address. blah.blah.uk is a very exclusive domain. I don't need spam.
Thankyou.

For a second there, I could have sworn you were being serious.

And incase you're wondering, yes, this is the same Sarah that featured prominently in my MSN username until fairly recently.

Immortal Wombat · December 22, 2002, 19:50

Quote:

Originally posted by Paul Hanson
For a second there, I could have sworn you were being serious.

Skanky Burns · December 22, 2002, 19:55

Back in high-school, I "secretly" had a crush on a girl. Apparently everyone knew about it, so it wasn't that secret.

Her (playfully): What do you want?

Me (before my brain could stop me): I want you.

Immortal Wombat · December 22, 2002, 20:04

That's always annoying.
I've taken to practicing "Marry me" instead of "I want you", then I can follow it up with a grin, and don't end up looking quite so stupid.

FrustratedPoet · December 22, 2002, 20:05

When I was in the process of asking my girlfriend out I was absurdly nervous and doing the whole stammering/talking rubbish thing like Hugh Grant in Four Weddings.

Although I have no memory of what I said, apparently I told her that until very recently I had had a big crush on her best friend.
Not smart.

God knows why I said that.

loinburger · December 22, 2002, 20:06

Quote:

I've taken to practicing "Marry me" instead of "I want you"

I've tried "Love me!" instead. It works when said with the correct inflection.

Though some situations call for "Love me, dammit!"

mrmitchell · December 22, 2002, 20:23

"The book I just read convinced me that war is bad."

And that's just the first one I can think of right now. I'm full of them.

What's worse is, every time I say one, I always dig the whole deeper.

Skanky Burns · December 22, 2002, 22:04

The thing was, I wasn't in the process of asking her out.
I was just talking with her and some friends.

Odin · December 23, 2002, 01:23

I told a classmate that Creationists are Idiots, I forgot that our Health teacher is a funamentalist christian.

Timexwatch · December 23, 2002, 02:44

Anyone else ever stepped on this landmine...

"How many months until the birth?"

Adagio · December 23, 2002, 06:36

EDIT: Nevermind...

Jack the Bodiless · December 23, 2002, 08:31

I recall one occasion in my early teens when our neighbors were visiting, and they mentioned that their young daughter had been walking in the woods when a man leapt out from the bushes and tried to grab her. She ran off.

"At first, she thought it was you" her mother said. When I was a kid, I had a habit of sneaking up on people and shouting "BOO".

I laughed. Then it dawned on me that their daughter being attacked by a pervert was NOT FUNNY.

Hastily smothered snigger. "Uh.. Gosh, that's, um, shocking..."