Manifest Destiny - Page 3

gooberboob · January 9, 2003, 20:27

I think you gotta be really desperate if you have to take your computer to bed with you

SKILORD · January 10, 2003, 21:09

I said i didn't goob.

I will post the next chapter tonight, would be now, but i got into an accident and need a coupla hours to stabalise myseklf (I wasn't hurt, but it being my first i was terrified and shaken, My Mercades cannot say the same though, it's in the shop now getting fixed, the other car was unhurt)

SKILORD · January 11, 2003, 20:22

The newspapers all brandished the fact, it was a personal accomplishment for them, the men who hadn't seen a battlefeild.

The Confederacy had just signed the Peace of Antieam, surrendering unconditionally to the allied forces. Texas had won a few cities, the Union held Virginia and most of the Northern Confederacy, Civil war raged near the Carribean, North of Cuban Floridia.

Sam wished Gen. Lee the greatest of luck, his people had learned their lesson about slavery now, he had no desire for a fascist republic persecuting the once masters.

Business was declining, people had no time for luxury anymore. Where once he had been the bright boy of the New York elite he became ignored as their ranks thinned, Bankrupcy waited around the corner. And he dreaded a return to his former lifestyle of poverty.

Hernando had joined the army, and Sam couldn't find anyone half as good, maybe he would join the US army, he would be helping his homeland, most likely he would be sent against Canada, not on a trek West.

But the army wasn't for him, Sam never could take orders well, maybe he would go vigilante into Canuk soil.

He turned the corner, where he had predicted bankrupcy.

"We're here to commandeer your mattalurgic tools, we need them to build more delicate peices."

The thin man dropped to his knees, tears streamed in incredible amounts down his cheek.

"No...." he begged, his voice cracked, already he was becoming a hopeless street ruffian.

"Sorry,' the man certaintly looked sincere, but Sam couldn't care. He opened the shop for the government's theives, handed them the keys, opened the registerand unloaded all the cash, the officials stared as he progressed wordless.

"But sir.." one began as he approached the door for the final time.

Sam waved him off," Take it all, go ahead."

He wondered how long the closed sign would remain hanging on the door.

-

the streets were chaos as Sundance rode his horse over the good people of Virginia City. A Confederate Cigar drooped from his mouth, held there only by his evil grin.

His band had easily outdone itself, the looting would long support his reign once Oakley surrendered.

Oakley seemed in no mood to quit though, she sent her troops to victory and defeat with the same cold glare. She frightened even the hardenedSundance Kid, though a certain cowboy, Shaka was his name, seemed quite aroused by her coldness.

Shaka was an odd Cowboy, darker in skin than most, speaking in deep voice that he often called his 'Barry White' voice, Sundance didn't know who Barry White was, noone had ever heard of him.

Shaka was coming with him in a meeting with the Empress of the West, she had called it so he expected no surrender, but it would still help, as long as the other side didn't rise.

The gaurd patted the two down for weapons, Shaka didn't handle it well, and he wouldn't have been the Kid's first choice, but he felt an insane urge to meet the hard woman. Noone else had wanted to come.

They entered her war tent and without a word Anne Oakley rose and aimed her gun, a shot rang out and the gaurds came in to carry the body away.

"Sic semper tyrrannis," she spat at the body as it was dragged away," Even if he hadn't taken control yet."

"That's not your line baby," the Barry White voice purred, " Now come over here and lemme show you a real pistol."

Her gun was at his head.

"F*cking Pervert."

"Playing rough?" he asked hopefully before she made him regret having come. He would never speak again.

"Sic Semper Perverts..."

SKILORD · January 11, 2003, 20:24

Quote:

Originally posted by gooberboob
I think you gotta be really desperate if you have to take your computer to bed with you

It took me a few days, but i looked at this again and finally understood it.

:doh:

I'm not quite that hard off.

unscratchedfoot · January 11, 2003, 20:30

I've heard the name Barry White before. I was told it means "dump". Less refined individuals say like, "I'm gonna take a barry white" to mean "I'm gonna send a brown friend to the coast". What is true? Is Barry White a real person or something (I live in Japan so give me a break if I sound totally out of it).

SKILORD · January 11, 2003, 21:00

It was paying a bit of hamage to gooberboob's A -Viking- Story, it's getting thrashed in the contest right now, so i doubt it will get much moer homage.

gooberboob · January 12, 2003, 02:35

Barry White is a singer with a deep voice who's music and personality are linked to a whole lotta

SEX

the reason it was so funny in my story is that shaka never got any

SEX

when he talked like Barry White.

A Viking Raid on Manifest Destiny WOOHAA

P.S. on the 2002 AP History Exam, Manifest Destiny was the correct answer on 95% of the questions that had it for a choice... I played the odds MWAHAHAHAHA

ChrisiusMaximus · January 12, 2003, 13:13

On with the story SKILORD keep it cpming

gooberboob · January 12, 2003, 15:29

(Shaka): What am I? The joke of these forums? Christ!! First Goober, then Skilord, then Goober again!!! Why do you guys keep killing me?

(Gooberboob): Because you're dumb and we have a sadistic urge to kill Barry White impersonators. Besides, you sound more like urkel.

(Shaka): You're just racist.

(Gooberboob): No I'm not, I kill people besides racecar drivers.

(Shaka): You kill based on skin color!

(Gooberboob): No, I kill for fun.

(Shaka): And you think it's fun to kill black guys!!

(Gooberboob): I kill white guys too, and white women, and Scratch.

(Shaka): Point taken, I'll continue to die in the name of comedy!

(Gooberboob): No you won't, I'm not writing a story with you in it until Yuute Hergeshlervenshvicschlocken is done.

(Shaka): Nucking Futs!!

SKILORD · January 12, 2003, 19:48

Quote:

P.S. on the 2002 AP History Exam, Manifest Destiny was the correct answer on 95% of the questions that had it for a choice... I played the odds MWAHAHAHAHA

I'll keep this in mind, unless they changed it this year.

vovan · January 12, 2003, 21:46

Like, Chris said, we are looking forward to more goods coming our way, SKI.

SKILORD · January 13, 2003, 00:37

Deseret was a nation on it's knees. Polygamy had been outlawed in the conqured lands, leading to a great schism within the church. The free Mormons, who still followed Bringham, had been pushed away from Salt Lake City, and forced across the Rocky Mountains. Fanatics held every moutain pass, hoping to prevent the Cowboys from crushing their new homes. Protecting each and every one of their wives.

Anne Oakley surveyed the conqured lands on her map, smiling, pleased. Her cat meowed and rubbed agains her arm as it rested on the desk, she pet it tenderly as it purred, and kneaded, cutting her delicate map wih it's claws.

Another meow followed, the cat had een thrown from the palace and screamed as it landed in the trash.

Third time this week, the cat thought.The pile of man it had mistake for trash began to stir, and it picked fluffy up by her neck.

"What are you doing little girl," The beggar asked.

"What's it look like bufoon? getting out of the trash, I'm not afraid to work."

She clawed him, causing him to drop her roughly.

"I knew i should have quit the stuff..."

"And you were right, it's bad for you, it's routing your brain cells."

As the man stared dumbfounded the talking cat slinked away.

I'm not going home this time, that woman has gone too far.

But where would fluffy live now? She thought back to the map, there was an orange colored land to the East, if Fluffy just walked a little more, she would probably reach it, should only be a couple of blocks.

As she reached the outskirts of San Fransisco it dawned on Fluffy that she had a ways to go, a war to win, an oddessy to complete....

She almost turned back.

-

Pedro couldn't find International Jewlers.

He had visited every single ime his boat came into harbor, speaking long into the night with a man who had come to exceed him in every way.

Not that he was jealous of Sam, the Hudsoner had natural ability, and had been trained well. The once glowing shopfront was gone, replaced by a dull man who sold mediocre suits.

"Sorry sir, I don't know where the previous owner resides, may I interest you in a..." the nasal voice droned on and on.

Pedro considered killing the man, a quick strangle would end his pain, what would happen if he did....

As he pondered the consequences the door opened, humble and quiet, a young man crept beside Pedro, to stare mstified at the salesman.

"My term as a soldier is over, I heard you were mighty good at sales, i wondered if you could teach me."

"This moron?" Pedro snorted.

The youth was shocked, "You mock the Great Sam Watson?"

"This is no Sam Watson, this is a bumbling oaf of a half wit who has taken Sam's shop."

"I take offense at...."

"I should hope so, i have been offended by your mediocricity since i came in here," He held his arms open, guestering at the walls," The hallowed halls of the shopkeeper need not be sullied by a man of your doubtful talent."

"Who're you sir?" the youth seemed excited that there may be an alternative to the tailor.

"An old freind of Sam's, I came here looking for him."

"Can i come with you to help you find him?"

Pedro smiled, another young one to train, his beard was beginning to gray, he had survived several turns, which was evident on his face.

"Of course."

-

The new Ranch had once been a maize plantation, until the war had left the former owners dead. With his savings Henry had managed o buy several acres, retiring on the victorious Eastern Front, as the West raged on. A handwritten manuscript lay open on his desk, All Quiet on the Eastern Front, an autobiography he was composing, from the death of his own farm to his midnight escape from Canada.

A new wife sat in the kitchen, trying to teach Elizabeth to eat without throwing up, the swell of the woman's stomach had begun receding, maybe a second child was in order.

The first had arrived two months after the marrige, which had been for Henry's old fashined mind's comfort, he expected the future children to take nine months.

Cattle chewed happily in the feilds outside, it was all too perfect it must be a ....

dream. Henry woke quickly, jerking from the sheets he had taken from his old house into the cold Minnesota feilds, where he made his way south to Texas, returning home.

He too had an Odessy to complete.

He wondered how long it was until Frostbite klled him.

ChrisiusMaximus · January 13, 2003, 04:51

but what on earth did that cat have to do with the story ?

Dont mind me you just keep writing.

And taking the tablets.

ChrisiusMaximus · January 13, 2003, 04:54

I mean come on my dog said to me just the other day as I threw him another stick, "Theres no such thing as a talking cat," and went on to say "mind I saw a good blue movie once entitled A Snapping ***** and another called ***** Talk"

"Stop that you filthy dog!" I said.

vovan · January 13, 2003, 13:13

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisiusMaximus
I mean come on my dog said to me just the other day as I threw him another stick, "Theres no such thing as a talking cat," and went on to say "mind I saw a good blue movie once entitled A Snapping ***** and another called ***** Talk"

"Stop that you filthy dog!" I said.

What happened to everybody lately? Are you all having a streak of weird humour?

SKI

SKILORD · January 13, 2003, 14:11

Actually the cat ends up winning the West for my side, I have no idea from where in my imagination he came from, but here he is, and i like him.

Centauri18 · January 13, 2003, 14:51

Anybody know how to post a custom map? I tried to post it as an attchment but it's supposedly too big. Any ideas?

SKILORD · January 13, 2003, 17:33

Upload it somewhere and then use the IMG code to link it as a picture.

The kids at CFC just discovered this story, several were unaware that it was a game.

SKILORD · January 13, 2003, 20:22

i'll have to make a novel out of this soon....

ChrisiusMaximus · January 13, 2003, 20:30

Youre doing great SKI

SKILORD · January 13, 2003, 23:13

I know, this story has raised my self confidence tremendously, but it's still of epic magnitude.

vovan · January 13, 2003, 23:16

Quote:

Originally posted by SKILORD
I know, this story has raised my self confidence tremendously, but it's still of epic magnitude.

Which one? The story or your self-confidence?

This is a good story, though.

SKILORD · January 13, 2003, 23:35

My self confidence has grown to about standard....

SKILORD · January 14, 2003, 00:09

The Mountains were daunting from afar. Fluffy couldn't imagine himself on those steep sharp rocks that terrorised the plains from afar, their protective foothills around them.

Fluffy stared in awe as he sat on one of those foothills.

A dog wouldn't have been able to resist the temptation to throw itself into the hopeless abyss, to prove itself greater than nature, an equal to man.

The Cat had no fantasies about being equal to men, in his opinion he had surpassed them.

Fluffy turned about, to see a longhaired white cat, larger than him, but lacking a tail. The other cat was muscled to a point that he could probably have taken down any gaurd in the Empresses Army of the Free West, eventhough they would probably outsize him.

"Done staring ? Ready to go yet?"

"Who the hell are you?"

"I, housecat," the tailless cat spat the word out,"Am thrice the cat you'll ever be. My name is insignificant, it is dwarfed by my presence."

"Likley," Fluffy rolled his slit eyes.

"You gonna climb the mountains?" The insignificantly named cat asked, his tone now polite.

"No!" Fluffy snorted," Who would, look at the things, I don't have a death wish."

The other cat grinned," *****," he held up his pay and looked at it in mock injury,"oh, I broke a poor little housecat nail! Heads will roll! I do declare...."

"I'm no *****...." even to him the attempt seemed weak.

"Prove it," the white paw lifted to the mountains beyond," I'll even go with you, asa a guide. I like it up there, don't know why i came this far down."

The two cats started down the hill, uncertaint of destiny, uncertain of the length of their journey, but pretty sure it would be over by the time Sam Watson was found, whoever he was. LAte into the night laughter could be heard from the little cat camp, where mouse was roasted slightly over a flame.

"You're name is Fluffy?!" would probably continue echoing, preceding the laughter, for months.

-

Another journey had also set forth, Pedro and Will had informed the first mate to carry on the voyage and had set out on foot to reclaim the once regent of a sales empire. Horses walked under them as the two talked late into the evenings, about women, sales and anything they could find to keep the awkward silence at bay.

Cities were rare in the inner continent, many had shriveled up, lending their men to countries that had little intent of returning them.

Their clothes soon whittled away to rags as the trekked across the woods and hills of New England, though of course since England isn't included on the Map it wasn't really New England, but, for the sake of understanding we shall call it such.

The battles had left a scar here. Though few had taken place on American soil those damned few made a striking impression on the lands near it, woods decimated to build temporary forts that surrendered to onslaught at the least opprotune moments, such was Canada's luck, though it had been a clever experiment and more solid versions now appeared in the wooded theaters of war, where trenching was all but impossible. Oregon's in particular were supposed to be marvels, which was only one of the miracles Oregon needed to win the war.

Rain, snow, all were greeted equally by the impassive frozen ground, men's footprints likewise, and there was no clear trail left by Sam, if he had left a trailat all. The last person to see him had been the ticketer at the station, but Pedro couldn't follow here, in the past months Railroads had been temporarily nationalised to allow the Third Infantry to move to the front, as Rubber leaked into Canada Blue Casks became more and more plentiful, and they were near invincible defenders.

On the horizon stood their goal, a small shantey of a villiage that had only a Railroad station to support it,

Boston.

vovan · January 14, 2003, 00:11

Nice.

SKILORD · January 14, 2003, 00:12

The chapter isn't done, i have to edit it in since i screwed up with the tab key.

The filter took out a certain synonym for cat which refers to certain female organs and also is used to call someone wimpish. It pretty much ruins the humor of the chapter.

vovan · January 14, 2003, 00:14

Yes, I was wondering what the stras meant.

SKILORD · January 14, 2003, 01:20

I didn' put them there.

The Chapter's done now, we're narrowing to two plot lines again (I'll finish henry's off really sson)

ChrisiusMaximus · January 14, 2003, 04:25

I overheard my dog Cassie talking to the neighbours labrador Rover this morning :

"Heeyyy Baby " Rover said to our Cass in a Barry White voice.

"You can stop that nonsense right now Rover! I bet youve been reading that Goober's stories again ."

"Yeah baby, looked at it just this morning when my master went for a James Brown,"

"Oh youre digusting, have you seen that SKILORD story with the talking cats? man is he ever nutcase!"

"Yeah baby," said Rover "everyone knows cats are too dumb to talk least of all light a campfire!"

"My master Chrisius is going to send his legionairy medical core doctors to help this poor guy out, so things should be okay in a little whiles."

"Well thats a relief, tell your master to tell SKILORD to put some hot bit**es in his story, you know what I like Baby!"

Well I can tell you I was utterly disgusted with Rovers dirty talk so I threw a bucket of cold water over him.

Great story SKILORD

ChrisiusMaximus · January 14, 2003, 19:26

Ive been wondering about a career change and wanted to ask you guys your opinions, I was thinking what about being a Pet Medium you know one of those freaks who stands on a stage and tells people theyve got a message from departed loved ones.

The difference being that my messages would be from peoples departed pets as opposed to their relatives. Tell me if you think Im right but I reckon I could make a fortune.

I mean who can argue with me when I say "Doreen Ive got a message for you from old Rover over from the other side"

"Oh please tell me what the message is oh great Maximo Chrisimo" pants Doreen with tears in her eyes.

The audience looks on with baited breath, "Woof!!" I say and Doreen breaks down thanking me profusely.

What do you think guys? am I onto something here or what?